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That being said, I presume you mean man should be in a relationship with someone he doesn't find attractive? Well, that might do more harm than good. He may end up not making her feel very loved or desired, he may end up cheating (depending on the guy), etc. When one looks at it that way... would that really be a better option?
Yet you seem to be finding fault with "Western" women who don't find certain types of guys attractive and making it hard for these types of guys. Why should they be with someone to whom they are not attracted?
Well, some women want guys no less than 6 feet tall, who are a "bad boy" but are only nice to them, who is popular or has social status, who is highly outgoing and super confident (has "swag"), who just knows how to make them laugh, etc. etc. Now, not that those aren't nice qualities, but every guy isn't tall, nor are they bad boys, nor are they outgoing (introverts come in both sexes), etc. Why should an introvert force himself to be an extrovert just because "It's the man's job to approach women!" and all that mess?
Certainly not all women are the way you describe. Every man I have dated in any serious capacity has been introverted. My exH is ISFP, and all SOs after him have been INFP, though my husband also leans INTP. We are the same. I almost exclusively sought/dated fellow introverts, as I found I was most compatible with other introverts. I also was not into "bad boys" unless geeky/nerdy/intellectual is now considered "bad boy" traits. I appreciate confidence, and though previous SOs were confident in many areas, they were/are very humble. None have swag.
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Actually, I think all people deserve relationship fulfillment. Whether or not I'm bitter is irrelevant. What is relevant is, if women have a right not to want decent guys based on perhaps shallow reasoning, why wouldn't those guys have the legal (and otherwise) right to just make due and do what they gotta do? [/b]
Where your reasoning is flawed is that not all women desire the same things. It isn't a "women" issue. It's some women. And there's more to compatibility than being "decent" and "nice." I met a lot of "nice" men when I was in the dating scene, and yet I didn't want a relationship with all or most of them.
Op, you are thinking way too much about this. You're not walking around with a sign which says "I use escorts" and it's your money so do whatever the hell you want. Why are you seeking validation from society or women who you feel wouldn't sleep with you anyway? The truth is none of this should matter to anyone but you. If you want to spend your money on hookers go for it, it's totally legal in Vegas so knock yourself out. But, if you want something genuine, you're going to have go the conventional route. The choice is yours.
Shyness is a form of social anxiety. That is not intrinsic to one's very being. Rather, it is inhibiting. Lack of confidence is likely a self-esteem issue too, not a healthy version of oneself.
It is interesting how you find it reasonable for women to change, but not men....
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What is the solution for those who don't have the insurance, can't afford, or simply don't want to depend on... pills that inhibit social anxiety? Me personally, I can talk to women. The problem is, if they have a funky attitude (which I know a lot of them tend to do that), it's just gonna **** me off. Why should I have to "force" myself to talk to people only to get bashed in the process? May as well say... just play with fire and maybe eventually you wont' get burned.
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Originally Posted by Just A Guy
And herein lies the basic difference between the winners like him and the entitled losers who complain about Western women.
So a guy is a "loser" just because he doesn't fit many Westernized women's view point of what is desirable? Would you also consider, say, blacks to be "losers" because they don't fit into the KKK's standard of what is desirable?
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Originally Posted by mishigas73
It's like saying that people deserve to be in a relationship or to have sex- simply because they're human. It doesn't work that way, nor should it.
Do what you want to do. If one believes that they're somehow not "attractive enough" to find a mate, then get an escort, a FWB, do whatever the heck you want to do. But don't come back and complain that some people don't like the fact that you've gone to an escort. That's life. Some people aren't going to agree with your choices. Shouldn't the proper response be more along the lines of "screw 'em if they don't like it"?
It DOESN'T work that way, but I disagree and I think that it should work that way. If it shouldn't, why even have the desire in the first place. That's "almost" like saying men shouldn't have to eat, even though they get hungry (but the analogy isn't perfect).
I do agree that a person should have the attitude of "screw 'em". It's just a shame that they would have to think that way towards a majority of the population and, I assume, may make for a more awkward or confrontational kind of life.
You can't generalize about the modern dating game in Western society. In Sweden, female escorts are almost obsolete, and women typically approach the men. In fact, there are more male escorts than female ones. The only people I've noticed saying a guy is "too lame" to get a gf is other men on this forum. You need to raise the awareness of your fellow dudes.
Well... Sweden sounds like a place I would like to go to, at least if it weren't so cold and I didn't have so much, how can I say, "melanin." But I digress.
When I talk about Westernized women, I don't mean just in the location of the west, but the mentality (hence WesternIZED), so even some places in Europe, Australia, etc. have women highly influenced by western culture and idealism.
Shemar Moore, James Bond, Brad Pitt, take your pick.
Women are entitled too. Do you see a lot of women going out of their way to date guys they aren't attracted to? Let us not pretend that only men want to be with someone they are attracted to. Get real.
And not all men are going for the Megan Fox types or whoever is supposed to be considered a heart throb today. I am sure that they want mutual attraction though. Yes, I am sure there are some men who don't have a lot to offer and look for someone who "has it all" (same as some women).
For the sake of the argument though, let's just keep it at men who are decent guys, have enough to offer, and have great qualities other than they just aren't the hottest or most confident guy on the block. Men who women think are so great they can be friends... but no further.
You need to come out from the basement.
Next time you are out and about. Take a stop in the swap meet, the beach, Costco, Sam's Club, the grocery store, etc.
You will see all kinds of dumpy, not-very-good-looking, average, quite guys with wives and girlfriends.
What is the solution for those who don't have the insurance, can't afford, or simply don't want to depend on... pills that inhibit social anxiety? Me personally, I can talk to women. The problem is, if they have a funky attitude (which I know a lot of them tend to do that), it's just gonna **** me off. Why should I have to "force" myself to talk to people only to get bashed in the process? May as well say... just play with fire and maybe eventually you wont' get burned.
So a guy is a "loser" just because he doesn't fit many Westernized women's view point of what is desirable? Would you also consider, say, blacks to be "losers" because they don't fit into the KKK's standard of what is desirable?
It DOESN'T work that way, but I disagree and I think that it should work that way. If it shouldn't, why even have the desire in the first place. That's "almost" like saying men shouldn't have to eat, even though they get hungry (but the analogy isn't perfect).
I do agree that a person should have the attitude of "screw 'em". It's just a shame that they would have to think that way towards a majority of the population and, I assume, may make for a more awkward or confrontational kind of life.
Now you're just reaching. Western society =/= KKK
Fair warning: threads that refer to Eliot Rodgers as inspiration get shut down.
In many parts of the world visiting working girls ins't a problem, its actually embraced, or at least not demonized..
I can't help but to feel a bit confused...... be feel a little bit stigmatized... not for the typical reasons, but for ego reasons, my ego can't help but to feel little a little sad.... it's sad to me, sad that I had to pay a woman, a woman couldn't be with me unless I paid for her time, how lame am I if I can't get a woman to simply hang out with me... I have to pay her, she doesn't want anyting to do with me unless I hand over some cash
How lame is that, I mean when you lay it out and really think about it... a woman wouldn't be with me unless I paid her money........ she wouldn't be wilth me unless I paid her money.....
Think about that when you're pounding your chest about how macho you are.... she wouldn't be there unless you paid her.....
Let that resonate with our local chest thumpers a bit.....
The desire to get laid outweighs the ego part of it.
It's not the women who make it hard. It's the entitled men who make it hard on themselves. They believe they are entitled to have attractive women, even though they are not attractive themselves.
Exactly.
Or better women overall than they themselves have to offer. It isn't just a looks things.
Well... Sweden sounds like a place I would like to go to, at least if it weren't so cold and I didn't have so much, how can I say, "melanin." But I digress.
When I talk about Westernized women, I don't mean just in the location of the west, but the mentality (hence WesternIZED), so even some places in Europe, Australia, etc. have women highly influenced by western culture and idealism.
um... Frank, Europe and Australia ("etc."), are part of "the West", as in: Western culture. Western culture started in Europe, then got exported.
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