Why are men made to feel ashamed concerning escorts? (long-term, single, children)
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So instead of those men going through hell and high water trying to be something they aren't just to attract the myriad of superficial women who dwell in society, why wouldn't they find it more appealing to just deal with escorts and be done with it?
So, there you go. If this truly is your perspective on things, stick by it. Is there anyone saying that you can't do this?
Surely, there are people out there who would be put off by this, but that's their prerogative, no?
As has been said, "shame" is something you feel when you allow an outside force to dictate what is "right" and "wrong". Why would you let that force get into your head? Go out and do what you want to do within the bounds of legality. If others don't like it, that's their own issue to deal with, no?
CSD610, I suppose a man could just take it to the grave, but if someone asks about his sexual history and he doesn't like to lie... why should he have to? I guess a better question is, why should people be shamed about it in the first place. I mean, if women have extremely high demands and expectations and perhaps a majority of men don't meet them... why wouldn't people understand that "a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do"?
AlfredB1979, true, he shouldn't, but I just think it's a hot mess for society to say that a guy is "lame" just because he doesn't meet the ridiculous standards of Westernized women.
hawaiiancoconut, yeah, some women (well, people in general) may try to shame a man for partaking of such services but then again, the women more than likely be selling if people weren't buying.
I never said to lie, I said if you did not announce it no one would know which is directly related to your original post which said nothing about being asked about your history.
The guilt/shame part is on you though, if you would control your own emotions instead of allowing what someone else says to you control your emotions you would have no guilt/shame. So don't blame your lack of emotional control on someone else.
To be sure, "many people" in America would like to shame men for using escort services. I guess the women's lobby has done a good job.
Think about it though. Most women are all about extracting money from men, one way or the other. Whether it's through marriage, dating, or as "sugar babies," the general scheme of things is that the man pays. Try dressing up in shabby clothes and driving around in a rusty Fort Pinto and see how many women you attract. Then, for the next part of the experiment, dress well and rent a Porsche for a week. Women will be crawling all over you.
Most of the rest of the world isn't so hung up on sex and isn't so Puritanical. Maybe someday, America will catch up.
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Three, As you mentioned, "real men" get all the sex they need for free...
I wanted to hone in on this point. If a guy can't get it for free (even if he is a good guy), what is he supposed to do? Some might say just masturbate and to that, I think a popular phrase from a song (and commercial slogan) sums it up best... Ain't nothing like the real thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
,... my ego can't help but to feel little a little sad.... it's sad to me, sad that I had to pay a woman, a woman couldn't be with me unless I paid for her time, how lame am I if I can't get a woman to simply hang out with me... .
Of course it's sad. But sad in a way that it's not always the man's fault as society might have people believe. I have been told I'm handsome by some people. I have conversational skills. But for whatever reason, I just don't seem to "do it" for a lot of women in that way and I guess I'm one of those "friend zone" guys if that. And I'm sure a lot of women may know "good guys" that for whatever reason, they just aren't attracted to. Maybe those guys are "too nice."
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Originally Posted by Fargobound
IMO getting invloved with an escort is a cage hunt. If you need to use the services of an escort it means you have no game/courting skills.
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Game huh? And I thought many suggest that all a guy has to do is just "be himself"?
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Originally Posted by MissClutterbuck
It's an emotional thing that has no basis in logical thinking, and I know that, but it is what it is.
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I read your post. I do agree with your assessment on this matter. At least you can acknowledge that.
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Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
This ^^^ is the predominant reason.
It is seen as a lesser choice when the "prevailing methods" don't work, which extrapolates to "something wrong with you."
It is unfortunate.
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Originally Posted by Ro2113
Then you have no courting skills. Not everyone can be Mr. James Bond.
Exactly. So what are those men who aren't James Bond supposed to do?
The treatment of other humans as commodities to fill your personal desires is morally distasteful. It is an objectification of people, turning them into products to be purchased. Whether or not that person consents or appears to profit from it is somewhat irrelevant, because the attitude is still there.
On a wider scale, these attitudes are damaging to a functioning civilization. Society and religion are institutions used to protect these moral principles so as to protect other human needs, such as love, security, and the well-being of children. Like John Lennon said, "Can't buy me love." If we reduce human interactions to exchanges of services, we violate our own needs.
"Shaming" is an old and somewhat effective tactic to protecting moral standards, although IMO, it tends to not work unless people value the things the shaming is trying to protect. I also think positive motivation is stronger than fear or shame, but those are sometimes last ditch efforts.
In many parts of the world visiting working girls ins't a problem, its actually embraced, or at least not demonized..
I can't help but to feel a bit confused...... be feel a little bit stigmatized... not for the typical reasons, but for ego reasons, my ego can't help but to feel little a little sad.... it's sad to me, sad that I had to pay a woman, a woman couldn't be with me unless I paid for her time, how lame am I if I can't get a woman to simply hang out with me... I have to pay her, she doesn't want anyting to do with me unless I hand over some cash
How lame is that, I mean when you lay it out and really think about it... a woman wouldn't be with me unless I paid her money........ she wouldn't be wilth me unless I paid her money.....
Think about that when you're pounding your chest about how macho you are.... she wouldn't be there unless you paid her.....
Let that resonate with our local chest thumpers a bit.....
There you have it.
That anyone would actually not be able to understand this is a bit odd.
I think a better question would be why are American and Scandinavian men are shamed and persecuted for paying for sex. This is after all an international forum... I think in most other countries, paying for sex is largely not criminalized and is not a huge deal.
And I believe the answer is pretty similar for both US and Scandinavian men. The "Shaming" comes from both the women's/feminist lobby and from conservative/puritanical outlook on life. At least in the US, women usually judge a man who does not commit to relationship very harshly, calling them "players".
I think paying for sex could offer great benefits to shy/awkward men with limited dating prospects. As long as they don't get obsessive and fall for the escorts. But they can learn about woman's bodies and then be more relaxed and confident when dating real women. And I think escorts might very good for those sexually frustrated young men who have no luck in dating.
The treatment of other humans as commodities to fill your personal desires is morally distasteful. It is an objectification of people, turning them into products to be purchased. Whether or not that person consents or appears to profit from it is somewhat irrelevant, because the attitude is still there.
On a wider scale, these attitudes are damaging to a functioning civilization. Society and religion are institutions used to protect these moral principles so as to protect other human needs, such as love, security, and the well-being of children. Like John Lennon said, "Can't buy me love." If we reduce human interactions to exchanges of services, we violate our own needs.
"Shaming" is an old and somewhat effective tactic to protecting moral standards, although IMO, it tends to not work unless people value the things the shaming is trying to protect. I also think positive motivation is stronger than fear or shame, but those are sometimes last ditch efforts.
By whose definition of morals? Certainly not mine... nor many of my friends. I certainly don't impose my definition on others... nor should anyone else impose their definition on me. Or do you mean "Christian morals"?
If morality is the say it all... then why is pornography tolerated?.. or any other form of adult entertainment.
As long as you are a resource in a job function, you are also a commodity.
From another thread:
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Originally Posted by mainebrokerman
if the cornerstone of legalizing abortions is "government has no right to tell a woman what she can or cant do to her body" then why is prostitution illegal?
IN certain countries (Scandinavian included), the selling of sex is legalized.. but not the purchase of sex. I'd support that as a compromise.
Last edited by usayit; 11-09-2015 at 10:10 AM..
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