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Some of you might remember my history with my now ex gf.To make a long story short I had sex with a gay friend of mine after a deal with my gf.Anyhow that triggered a huge series of events that lead me to break up with my gf .Subsequently I started to seriously question my sexual orientation.Until recently I thought I was straight.
The past few days I am in a relationship with that guy who like I said has been a close friend of mine for many years.I started developing feelings for him shortly after our sexual adventure and its the first time I find my self attracted to a man.Anyhow I dont care so much about that.I am going with the flow as much as I can.What is really freaking me out is how do I go about explaining all this mess to my friends,family,etc.They know me as a straight guy who has never shown interest in anything but women...
My bf is currently ''tutoring'' me around coming out.Still he was always open about being gay and I feel he cant really understand what a huge change this is for me.I am sure I am not gay meaning I am attracted to women and he is the only man I feel sexually and emotionally attracted to.I know its weird but I dont want to label my self.I just enjoy being with him and have no intention of breaking it off.
Now, how do I explain this to other people in my life?
Please keep it civil and PG-13 because last time I got an infraction about my thread.
Why do you have to explain anything to anyone? Your life choices are yours, you have to decide if you are ashamed of those choices or if you just live your life without shame or explaination.
No,but then again I havent felt so strong about my ex gf.It is not a matter of ''excitement''.I am not a teenage boy who gets excited over nothing.I havent experienced anything like this in my life and I know that sooner or later I will have to go public since I do not intend to break up with him.It's obvious that we have strong feelings for each other.I doubt this will change anytime soon.
Could be "serious" and could be infatuation. This is your first same-sex relationship and as such you are a novice. We all expect our "first" relationships to last forever - they rarely do. You say you're not a teenage boy...but that is the equivalent level of experience you're at now.
I am not gay.But everyone will perceive me as gay.Like I said I dont care about how they perceive me per se.The problem is how do I explain what is happening to me and be believable.I get that I will face the same stigma gay people face and yes it is making me somewhat anxious but my bf is supportive with this.
You are a man in a love relationship with a man and you've told me you arent bi-sexual and now you are telling me you arent gay.. What is it exactly you want to tell every one?
You are in a relationship with a guy. You are physically intimate with the guy. Technically that makes you gay, in a gay relationship.
Yes I am in a gay relationship since both parties are of the same sex but I am not gay.Sexual orientation refers to the gender/s one is attracted.I am not attracted to men.Only this particular one.Anyhow this is not important if you want to call me gay thats fine I dont really care.My problem still remains in that I am feeling a bit overwhelmed with this situation.
We all expect our "first" relationships to last forever - they rarely do. You say you're not a teenage boy...but that is the equivalent level of experience you're at now.
Yes but this is not my first relationship.I have had various relationships with women some of which were long term and one was over 5 years.But yeah it's my first one with a man.Something that I would have never believed could happen to me.
Yes but this is not my first relationship.I have had various relationships with women some of which were long term and one was over 5 years.But yeah it's my first one with a man.Something that I would have never believed could happen to me.
Obviously I chose to be with him since I couldnt help how I was feeling.
You set this whole thing in motion. You harassed your gf into being with a girl and offered if she did it, you would do it with a male, who you knew well. You followed through and magically fell in love with him from the sex (which in my book is lust, not love). And then you chose to follow that feeling and break it off with your girlfriend. "You couldn't help"???? You chose this whole thing from the beginning.
I am totally fine with gay people, and I think (if this story is true) you were already gay but needed a big push to go down that path. You can say you didn't choose to be gay. But you can't say "you couldn't help" it or "it happened to you". This entire situation is messed up and you started it. Do you care at all about the girlfriend you forced into sex she didn't want and then left?
If it's true you aren't gay but just into this one guy (which I am told is possible *see my cautionary tale*), then coming out is premature. It's just infatuation and poor impulse control. Actually feel free to come out...because I'm sure your family and friends know you are impulsive and are ruled by your feelings.
I'm fine with you being gay or bi or what ever you call it. But pretending like you are passive in this whole thing is laughable.
You set this whole thing in motion. You harassed your gf into being with a girl and offered if she did it, you would do it with a male, who you knew well. You followed through and magically fell in love with him from the sex (which in my book is lust, not love). And then you chose to follow that feeling and break it off with your girlfriend. "You couldn't help"???? You chose this whole thing from the beginning.
I am totally fine with gay people, and I think (if this story is true) you were already gay but needed a big push to go down that path. You can say you didn't choose to be gay. But you can't say "you couldn't help" it or "it happened to you". This entire situation is messed up and you started it. Do you care at all about the girlfriend you forced into sex she didn't want and then left?
If it's true you aren't gay but just into this one guy (which I am told is possible *see my cautionary tale*), then coming out is premature. It's just infatuation and poor impulse control. Actually feel free to come out...because I'm sure your family and friends know you are impulsive and are ruled by your feelings.
I'm fine with you being gay or bi or what ever you call it. But pretending like you are passive in this whole thing is laughable.
wow!!
I dont even want to discuss what happened with my ex.Besides she is not talking to me anymore (I broke up with her btw).You are free to believe what you want.I didnt plan any of it.I am not gonna spend precious time entertaining people's random ideas about my situation.
Also I dont have poor impulse control and no its not an infatuation.I know when I develop serious feelings for someone.
Yes I am in a gay relationship since both parties are of the same sex but I am not gay.Sexual orientation refers to the gender/s one is attracted.I am not attracted to men.Only this particular one.Anyhow this is not important if you want to call me gay thats fine I dont really care.My problem still remains in that I am feeling a bit overwhelmed with this situation.
If it walk like a duck, quacks like a duck, ****s like a duck; it's a bloody duck.
Call it what ever you want. But facts are facts.
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