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I'm turning 40 in a couple months and I am happier now then I ever was in my twenties. I have a better sense of who I am and what I want in life. I am single and still dating, never. Been married but those are my decisions. Life is not cookie cutter. You can't compare what is going on with your friends to what is going on with you. I really learned this year that everything works itself out. Things will happen when they are meant to happen. Right now just enjoy what you do have because you seem to have it all together. Who knows, maybe on your trip you will meet some. Just be patient.
I agree . And to think about it. I am planning of doing some new projects for my new house when the weather gets better . In my spare time when I am out running errands I stop over to Home Depot and look at the different ideas as to what I want to do with the new house. It seems as things fall into place like you are saying when you least expect it. Plus I have a vacation that I am looking forward to in a month. My parents tell me to enjoy what is going on for me now because after I meet someone and get married it will be a whole new ballgame and more responsibilities.
To other people's point, do what makes you happy, we all after all want companionship. You have your act together so all I can tell you is do what makes you happy.
Things do happen when they should. I take my example where I dated and dated and somehow couldn't find the right gal. I was getting a lot of gold diggers or those with ex hang up issues. Some were married women, some were single.
I wouldn't want to go back to my 20's. I have learn so much more and matured a lot. Looks like you're in the same boat. As far as dating younger women, it's like anything else in dating, it's a crapshoot. Younger women generally are al over the place and many do not know what they are even looking for. They most likely want a b/f that they can brag about to their g/f's .
So enjoy your freedom while you can and at 40 life is just beginning for you
You sound like a man who has his act together. You have made a good life for yourself and are doing things that make YOU happy. Why are you so eager to disrupt that?
Marriage is always possible but, as for starting a family, that train is preparing to leave the station. (Do you want to be an old dad chasing young kids?)
Dating 20-somethings is easy but should never be your end goal. With the proper mix of Good Looks, Excellent Fitness, Strong Libido, Confidence, Good, Character, Personality, Money and a “Daddy” vibe, you can have all the 20-somethings you want. But if you are one of those "young at heart" guys who thinks he can form a lasting relationship with someone much younger, prepare to be disappointed. They do not truly want it, and neither do you. Accept them as delicious snacks to enjoy while you look/wait for your age appropriate trophy woman -- one that takes great care of herself and thus looks better than most 20-somethings; possesses intellectual/spiritual depth; and shares your frame of reference. They are very rare, but they do indeed exist.
Speaking from personal experience, as a man 12 years your senior (and who was recently in a relationship with a woman 22 years younger for 3 years), I can absolutely confirm that if this becomes your mindset -- and if you maintain your physical fitness, grooming, good manners and pleasant demeanor, while focusing on Your Own Happiness -- women (of all ages) will be drawn to you like a magnet. Then you can take your time, enjoying the experience until you meet the one you cannot live without. But if that does not happen, so what? You will still die happy.
The only thing going good for me is that I have a good career. I am going to be buying a new house after this winter. The projects I plan to do with the new place and things that I want to buy to make my house look. Awesome are making me happy. I like coming up with new ideas as to what I will do with the new place. Plus I am going on vacation to Cozunel in the first week of February. So as relationship and to have a family, is my life over for that since I see younger people and people my age already settling down? Is it too late? How about all the plans I am planning to do? Should I just forget about it?
Last edited by SomeGuyInFairfax; 01-11-2016 at 02:43 PM..
Reason: formatting
This, along with reading that a woman is "sarcastic", are turn offs. It's usually code for difficult or hard-to-handle. Not always, but enough to create an association.
I don't understand why a woman would write that she's "strong and independent" - what if men wrote "weak and dependent"? Why write anything in a profile that has to do with strength or lack thereof? Not directed at you or your friend, just more curiosity on this issue.
I would just leave strength or no strength off a profile altogether.
The friend I was referring to that has men lining up because she looks fragile but is actually strong and independent has never used OLD, just to clarify. She doesn't have to and as a result is one who thinks that OLD is a desperate measure rather than a tool to meet people.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Lets remember she doesn't live in Portland. She lives outside it. Totally different scene from my visits there.
Quite different living somewhere than visiting and as a male visiting this area, yes, you will get a lot of attention especially if it's apparent you are single. Pops up on my local board periodically that newcomers who visited and loved it here so much they packed up and moved can't understand why they can't make friends/where to meet other singles/is Portland really this unfriendly or is it just me?, etc. If I went based on impressions alone of just from visiting, I would visit again but never move to Atlanta!
Other than my improv class, my social life takes place almost entirely in Portland, not the suburb in which I live. If I relied on this place for a social life, I'd be a hermit with a house full of dogs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
I was originally responding to posts about guys having to carry the conversation. I think it is unusual (though not unheard of, but IMO not the norm) for women to go through the date like a bumps on a log, not doing their part to keep the conversation going. From the point of view of many women, the opposite is the problem; too many men don't take an interest in their date, don't ask (or listen to) her interests or views on life, politics, whatever, and monopolize the conversation. Women who are passive throughout the date must be a minority.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
They are not. I've lived in many states in different regions of the country, and have dude friends from all over the walks of life, it is almost universally (individuals are the exception), the guy talking most because there is otherwise there is silence. Its all about drawing the woman out and trying to find something she is excited about.
Last guy I went out with initiated contact and was definitely interested in at least seeing me for a third date. The second date was much quieter than the first because I decided I did all the talking the first time and was going to let him talk the second time. The first time, if there was a lull in conversation, it was quite awkward as conversation just didn't flow naturally as it was. The dates prior to him also required me to carry the conversation, come to think of it. As did the last guy I actually dated. My male friends have no problems carrying on conversations; perhaps online I just attract the shy ones. Which is a bit difficult as I'm naturally very shy myself.
I don't understand, OP. You seem to have a lot going for you. Why do you feel like you've wasted your life away? That's so absurd and so far from your reality, that it made me laugh. There are a lot of women in your age range who would be interested in meeting you. Why are you ready to throw away all that potential? Get out and enjoy yourself! Mix. Mingle. Chat.
Do you see how the bolded in the first paragraph contradicts everything in the second paragraph? OP, you're not thinking straight. You seem to be trying very hard to sell yourself on a negative outlook, even though everything is going great for you.
Furthermore, you have no idea if the marriages all those people are getting into at a young age will last. Many marriages contracted in the 20's fall apart in the 30's. You did the right thing by waiting until you were (hopefully) more mature, and could exercise better judgement in your choice of partner. If you give up now, just because of some odd deadline you have in your head, you really will be throwing opportunity away. Get off the internet, and get out into your community. Enjoy group activities of various sorts. Meet people. There are women out there looking for a good, stable guy your age. Find them.
Thank you. I believe what you are saying. Even when I am at a home improvement store like Home depot I can find fun and enjoying the kind of ideas that I want to plan on doing with my new house . My parents tell me who knows maybe I will run into a nice woman who is interested in home improvement projects and boom I have something to talk about with the woman
Not at all, it's just started. Create the mindset that you're 25 again and go for the things you want, write down what you want to achieve, make plans and go out and experience life for one last time and enjoy yourself until retirement/old age. 40 is the new 30, so you still have so much life to live. Think about it, you may have another 40+ years to live and a lot can be done in just one year, so imagine what you can achieve in the next 30-40 years?!
Not at all, it's just started. Create the mindset that you're 25 again and go for the things you want, write down what you want to achieve, make plans and go out and experience life for one last time and enjoy yourself until retirement/old age. 40 is the new 30, so you still have so much life to live. Think about it, you may have another 40+ years to live and a lot can be done in just one year, so imagine what you can achieve in the next 30-40 years?!
Thanks I know doing the projects that I want to do keep me happy. I look forward in doing new things at my house even excited when I go shopping
Hello, my friend. i beleive that it's difficult to have everything in life... you must be thankful for having a good job and a good carrier... and if you are still single that's doesn't mean anything... maybe love come to you suddenly when you won't wait for. you are too young to think that you want ever marry... Try to relax... enjoy your good, comfortable life and someone out there is for you... someday, somehow will come...
Hello, my friend. i beleive that it's difficult to have everything in life... you must be thankful for having a good job and a good carrier... and if you are still single that's doesn't mean anything... maybe love come to you suddenly when you won't wait for. you are too young to think that you want ever marry... Try to relax... enjoy your good, comfortable life and someone out there is for you... someday, somehow will come...
The phrase "no" means "no" typically applies to describing sexual encounters. At no time have I mentioned or implied sex here. We've been talking about gaining favor. Just to be clear.
But we can agree to disagree. I think it's fine to sell yourself and win somebody over. You don't. It's sounds like love at first sight or nothing on your end.
You seem to think that women don't know what they want. If your experience is that you can browbeat and coerce a woman into dating you after she has expressed that she's not interested in you, you are targeting weak-minded women, most likely with the intent to control them.
As for me, you are wrong. The point is that if I am not interested in someone, there's nothing he can do to change that. That is not the same thing as "love at first sight or nothing." I will leave it at that with no further discussion.
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