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Well, I don't watch TV, so that's a non issue. But I can't recall any of the other stuff being an issue ever, no. I go to gym in the morning, or I did throughout my 30s (I'm more flexible now), so I shower there.
And I nor any of my roommates ever gave out keys to people we dated. That isn't something that is done by sane people, or considerate people, when one has roommates.
We certainly didn't take our roomies alcohol. There was stuff we bought as a house hold. That's just wrong.
Schedules? Nope. We had pretty much the same schedules, the vast majority of people do. I have had roommates introduce me to some cool as heck people, and turn me on to new bands though fairly frequently.
But I'd put up with some of that to cut my housing expense in half, sure. No biggie. Same issues potentially as living with a SO which I've also done, but never had an issue with.
Sounds like you chose some bad roommates. Sorry about that. Or you're just really easily annoyed.
My bf and I exchanged keys while we had roommates (in his case his brother). You let the other person know and ideally your S.O. isn't going to be coming over when you're not already on your way home/plan to hang out together anyways?
Overall though I personally thought having a roommate was extremely annoying. Most are simply not very clean, but then again I can be a little OCD... not denying that.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by torontocheeka
You let the other person know and ideally your S.O. isn't going to be coming over when you're not already on your way home/plan to hang out together anyways?
I wouldn't do that to a roommate. Never had it done to me. Each to their own though.
I live alone currently, but I've usually rented apartments, not houses, with roommates. Sometimes one roommate, sometimes up to four of us together. Not a big deal. Living alone and with others isn't much different in reality if you do both right (pick up your messes when you make them, etc). Not sure what privacy issues there may be. We all had our own rooms. If you choose well, and respect each other, its not a big deal. The woman I dated most of last year had 5 roommates when I met her, it was a non issue, her roommates were cool as heck (save one, and she didn't hang there often), until she changed jobs and moved into her own place. She saved a crap ton splitting expenses for a year, enough to get a new car with cash. Smart move.
Doesn't it get tiring to tell people not to be so loud during sex? Or being limited to having sex in the bedroom? Such limited privacy to be free unless it's a whole house where someone gets the basement. Hard to have spontaneous sex living an apartment with roommates and their bf/gf.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stockyman
Doesn't it get tiring to tell people not to be so loud during sex? Or being limited to having sex in the bedroom? Such limited privacy to be free unless it's a whole house where someone gets the basement. Hard to have spontaneous sex living an apartment with roommates and their bf/gf.
Can't recall telling anyone that. I wouldn't block a roomie like that. No biggie, put on some white noise or tunes to sleep to. I guess I don't get annoyed as easily as some.
Never had issues with spontaneity. Room limitations, sure. But is that worth $750-1000 extra a month? Maybe for some, and maybe at times, but fiscal prudence is good too.
I'm 44, but if the right situation came up, I'd do roommates again for sure. Right now though I have a one bedroom well below market and for less than it would cost me to rent a decent room, so there is no incentive.
Living alone and with others isn't much different in reality if you do both right (pick up your messes when you make them, etc). Not sure what privacy issues there may be. We all had our own rooms. If you choose well, and respect each other, its not a big deal.
Speaking from the perspective of the SO of someone with roommates, I'll tell you why it was a big deal for me:
- Having to make sure we were behind closed doors before being intimate. And making sure that the noise was kept down.
- Forced socialization. Ick.
- Making sure that there was, in fact, a lock on the bathroom door.
- Having to make sure one was fully dressed before getting the first cup of coffee in the morning, or letting the dogs out.
- Making sure that valuables were, in fact, put away safely. Roommates were vetted, their company was not.
- Sharing kitchen and living room areas. God forbid one would want to take a nap on the couch...
You're only older by a few years and only better at being annoyed easily, you were significantly worse at choosing people to live with, or wait... since you didn't, you actually don't know what it really like. You're just basing your complaints on what you hear. Got it.
Four years of college roommates, including in a group house, and one year after college. And as I said above, I know a bunch of former coworkers in their late 30s and early 40s who share a house. They're all good people, but it's still communal living. I know what it's really like. So either you're fudging here about never having an issue with a roommate, or you were sufficiently irresponsible and immature in your 30s that you really didn't mind living in a fraternity house atmosphere at that late age.
Sounds like the only one here who is annoyed is you, most likely because the women here saying they wouldn't date a man with roommates past a certain age are in effect saying they wouldn't have dated you when you were in your 30s with housemates. Don't sweat it. It's behind you.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JasperJade
Four years of college roommates, including in a group house, and one year after college. And as I said above, I know a bunch of former coworkers in their late 30s and early 40s who share a house. They're all good people, but it's still communal living. I know what it's really like. So either you're fudging here about never having an issue with a roommate, or you were sufficiently irresponsible and immature in your 30s that you didn't mind living in a fraternity house atmosphere at that late age.
Sounds like the only one here who is annoyed is you, most likely because the women here saying they wouldn't date a man with roommates past a certain age are in effect saying they wouldn't have dated you when you were in your 30s with housemates. Don't sweat it. It's behind you.
Who lived in a fraternity atmosphere? Not I. It seems your perspective is truly warped, and it isn't based on first hand data, since you haven't done it as an adult. You're basing your opinion on when you were a kid and second hand info.
And I had zero problems dating quality women when having roommates in my 30s. Zero. Because, well, I dated quality women No sweat off my back. And I was wise and mature enough to choose correctly, and handle it well, and put that large difference in monthly expenditures into tax differed investments, which I'll benefit more from in 20 years than some minor inconvenience about having to put a robe on.
Roommates are great for short term scenarios when you all have a shared reason to be boarding together.
....that's about it
Having roommates and living with your parents at 35 seems like the same to me. Nothing wrong with it if it doesn't bother a person but really don't see the difference at that age.
Nope nope and nope. There is no excuse for being an adult lacking in independence and even an attempt to provide for and look after oneself. That's not functional adulthood.
If you're independent then what difference does it make if you live with a parent or a roommate? And what if one just mooches off their roommate?
Living with parents does not imply dependence and neither does living with a roommate imply independence.
Flawed logic.
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No sweat off my back. And I was wise and mature enough to choose correctly, and handle it well, and put that large difference in monthly expenditures into tax differed investments, which I'll benefit more from in 20 years than some minor inconvenience about having to put a robe on.
