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Old 03-18-2016, 08:44 AM
 
8,170 posts, read 6,039,379 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by s1alker View Post
I really think single parents should date other single parents. They understand each other better. It's very difficult for someone who isn't a parent to understand what's involved in it.
Until it comes time to merge the kids together and the kids don't want any part of it. It's easier to add one person to an existing family, than trying to add three.
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Old 03-18-2016, 08:47 AM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,764 posts, read 19,988,136 times
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I think that single parents dating single parents would make sense. THEORETICALLY.


However, the reality is that it can add a lot of stress to a new relationship. The kids might not get along or might not WANT to get along. You can maybe convince one child to change its mind but not 2 or 3. The kids might not want a new parent. The kids might not like that particular person. Different teaching styles. Moving into a new place, suddenly having to share a room. Suddenly having a sibling or two. The siblings ganging up on each other.


Dating a guy who has no kids seems much easier. He is more flexible and you can meet him without the kids first and only one of you needs a sitter. You can build a relationship with just him first and then slowly introduce him to the children without time pressure or worries the kids are not getting along.


Or to show it in numbers: 3 Lowonlucks family members meeting 1 new person is easier to get used to than 3 Lowonlucks family members meeting 3 new people who are also hesitant and damaged from divorces.
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Old 03-18-2016, 08:51 AM
 
8,170 posts, read 6,039,379 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith2187 View Post
Just broke up and already on the prawl again eh?

Every man I've dated or that has pursued me has not had kids except one. I would prefer a man with one child(since I have one) but I tend to attract childless men and a lot of them are actually interested in trying to be pretend dads(or the possibility of stepping into the role) which is always strange for me... I find that this is especially common because a lot of the men I've dated come from single mom households so they aren't as judgemental. My options have been exactly the same as they were even before I had my son-still attract educated, tall, attractive, professional men that are similar to
myself only they don't have kids. I have not come across a man that cared that I was a single mother, but I only f*** with black men, so I don't know how other groups are, and I've never believed that being a single mother limited options. I know many single moms that remarried men without kids-my mom was one of them. What I observed is that these women are usually attractive, have their ish together, and weren't overly desperate for any ole' man, they knew their worth and attracted men that did as well. Just so happen that they were more likely to be approached by men without children.

Ciara is engaged to Russell and she is a single mom with a kid. So I think it happens more often than people would admit.
On the other hand I know many combined homes-where both people had kids and it can work but it depends on the dynamic of the families. I can say that in your situation perhaps it's time to just focus on being single for more than 48 hours before rebounding again?
Not necessarily on the prowl. I won't be doing online dating or anything. If I cross a decent man in my path, great but not going to go out of my way to find one. I just want to narrow down what works. The single dads did not work.
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Old 03-18-2016, 08:52 AM
 
5,198 posts, read 5,281,217 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
I think that single parents dating single parents would make sense. THEORETICALLY.


However, the reality is that it can add a lot of stress to a new relationship. The kids might not get along or might not WANT to get along. You can maybe convince one child to change its mind but not 2 or 3. The kids might not want a new parent. The kids might not like that particular person. Different teaching styles. Moving into a new place, suddenly having to share a room. Suddenly having a sibling or two. The siblings ganging up on each other.


Dating a guy who has no kids seems much easier. He is more flexible and you can meet him without the kids first and only one of you needs a sitter. You can build a relationship with just him first and then slowly introduce him to the children without time pressure or worries the kids are not getting along.


Or to show it in numbers: 3 Lowonlucks family members meeting 1 new person is easier to get used to than 3 Lowonlucks family members meeting 3 new people who are also hesitant and damaged from divorces.


It's easier for the parent. The single guy (or person) has to be the one to make all of the concessions.

No thanks.

Last edited by mochamajesty; 03-18-2016 at 09:10 AM.. Reason: Extra spaces for no reason.
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Old 03-18-2016, 08:57 AM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,764 posts, read 19,988,136 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mochamajesty View Post
It's easier for the parent. The single guy (or person) has to be the one to make all of the concessions.


No thanks.
I don't date guys with children either. But you see it every day so there are tons of guys who don't have an issue with it.
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Old 03-18-2016, 09:00 AM
 
8,170 posts, read 6,039,379 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27 View Post
I would not be interested in dating a woman with children. Doesn't matter how hot she is children = deal breaker.
Which is fine. I want the guy that is ok with loving my children as if they were biologically his own.
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Old 03-18-2016, 09:09 AM
 
8,170 posts, read 6,039,379 times
Reputation: 5965
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
I think that single parents dating single parents would make sense. THEORETICALLY.


However, the reality is that it can add a lot of stress to a new relationship. The kids might not get along or might not WANT to get along. You can maybe convince one child to change its mind but not 2 or 3. The kids might not want a new parent. The kids might not like that particular person. Different teaching styles. Moving into a new place, suddenly having to share a room. Suddenly having a sibling or two. The siblings ganging up on each other.


Dating a guy who has no kids seems much easier. He is more flexible and you can meet him without the kids first and only one of you needs a sitter. You can build a relationship with just him first and then slowly introduce him to the children without time pressure or worries the kids are not getting along.


Or to show it in numbers: 3 Lowonlucks family members meeting 1 new person is easier to get used to than 3 Lowonlucks family members meeting 3 new people who are also hesitant and damaged from divorces.
Exactly. With last boyfriend, my kids were very accepting of him and his kids. His kids like me. His kids have no tolerance for my kids. They do not want my kids around ever. Just trying to plan a vacation and his kids were flipping out because my kids would be going. My kids do not need that pressure of being unwanted.

Where do you go with a relationship that won't go anywhere?
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Old 03-18-2016, 09:10 AM
 
Location: who cares
92 posts, read 70,146 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
Which is fine. I want the guy that is ok with loving my children as if they were biologically his own.
What's wrong with the biological father. Doubt another guy could love a child as much as he should.
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Old 03-18-2016, 09:12 AM
 
Location: TN/NC
35,089 posts, read 31,339,345 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ312 View Post
Why would a man without kids be motivated to date a woman with kids? Usually, unmarried men without kids are not interested in spending a tremendous amount of time with children that are not their own, such as the amount of time that goes into a parenting type relationship.
This. It sounds like the OP is wanting to "trade up," without acknowledging that a man with no kids is unlikely to want someone with kids.
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Old 03-18-2016, 09:13 AM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,764 posts, read 19,988,136 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
Exactly. With last boyfriend, my kids were very accepting of him and his kids. His kids like me. His kids have no tolerance for my kids. They do not want my kids around ever. Just trying to plan a vacation and his kids were flipping out because my kids would be going. My kids do not need that pressure of being unwanted.

Where do you go with a relationship that won't go anywhere?
So you broke it off yesterday? Was he surprised? Did he fight for you? What did he say? Was he very sad? Did he come up with solutions or suggestions or just took it?
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