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I don't get seething anger and aggression from the OP, I get defeat. According to eyewitness accounts, Rodger had anger and possibly other issues to the extent of requiring therapy by the age of only 8.
Yeah, it's creepy. His posts fit the type of angry troll posts the forum was getting at the time. Believe it or not, the situation here used to be a lot worse than it is now. I'm thankful for good moderating.
Look I'm no Brad Pitt, but I am pretty damn cute, objectively. I'd say I'm 7/10. I'm not going to turn heads, but I'd definitely make a girl uneasy if I had my shirt off. I have money, so it's not that. I drive a Maserati and live in an upscale neighborhood in orange county. I'm not a billionaire, but I get by. The only thing I don't have is social skills (crippling social anxiety) and I'm passive. Women want an aggressor with social skills. Looks and money seem completely worthless if you're shy. It's so unfair. I see ugly poor men with girls because they have social skills. It seems like no amount of positive qualities can overcome being a shy male. I'm 22 and am graduating college dateless. I feel like I'm less than nothing because of my failure with the opposite sex.
You might want to start with realizing that women don't all look for the same qualities in a man; for every aggressive, assertive macho man with a woman, there is a dorky, quiet man with a woman who loves the beejeebers out of him. If you are failing with every woman you set your sights on, perhaps it's time to look for a different type of woman; one who likes your shyness and sees it as a positive quality.
Look, OP. I (we) don't know why you're bothering to post here. I suppose it's just to vent, but that's not what this forum is for, and people get REALLY TIRED of guys like yourself coming here to dump their frustrations on us without having any intent at all to do something constructive to help themselves.
So, please spare us any further emoting. You're playing to a tough crowd here that's pretty much heard it all and is fed up with people who refuse to get the professional help they so obviously need. You say you have money, so use it constructively: go out and pay for a specialist in social anxiety. Don't tell us you tried that and it didn't work--we know. We've read your posts. Just DO it, OK? Enough hand-wringing, already. There's nothing more we can do for you. You're in charge of your life. The ball is in your court.
I never said I was struggling to get a job. I said I could never work a job that wasn't easy. I also said I have money and don't need one. The only reason I have worked in the past was because I thought it would help me get girls. It didn't, so why work?
How do I have money?? The same way all rich kids do, inheritance. Completely useless when you can't get girls though since money doesn't create happiness, love does.
How about you try working a job that isn't easy. I am going to guess that it isn't social anxiety, it's just that you probably don't have anything interesting to talk about. I am gonna let you in on a little secret, girls enjoy talking, and when you can't keep their interest they tend to move on.
I feel like I'm less than nothing because of my failure with the opposite sex.
I sincerely hope you were kidding with this statement. Cultivate your life that doesn't focus on seeking female approval. Get some cool hobbies. Attend social meetups for events which sound interesting to you. Seek the company of high caliber people.
I sincerely hope you were kidding with this statement. Cultivate your life that doesn't focus on seeking female approval. Get some cool hobbies. Attend social meetups for events which sound interesting to you. Seek the company of high caliber people.
Start with that.
And with getting a job in your field. You chose a good field. Make something of it, and of yourself.
It's interesting that you would categorize the OP's issue as a 'men's' issue. It is not like ED or male pattern baldness - he has a mental/cognitive issue (or ten).
Possibly but in general id say men's issues with the opposite sex are treated much worse on sites like these then women's..
I don't think the problem is that girls don't like you. The problem may be that YOU don't like you.
My husband had social anxiety when I met him. Heck, he was overweight and stuttered, but he was okay with himself. Believe it or not, that shines through.
Here is an excerpt from the best advise I ever read. I read it a couple of times a year as a reminder:
6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person | Cracked.com ....It's always "How can I get a job?" and not "How can I become the type of person employers want?" It's "How can I get pretty girls to like me?" instead of "How can I become the type of person that pretty girls like?" See, because that second one could very well require giving up many of your favorite hobbies and paying more attention to your appearance, and God knows what else. You might even have to change your personality. "But why can't I find someone who just likes me for me?" you ask. The answer is because humans need things. The victim is bleeding, and all you can do is look down and complain that there aren't more gunshot wounds that just fix themselves?
It's not so much domination as action - I thought this as you said you're passive.
You don't need to be dominating (a lot of people don't like that. Heck, I'm female and dominating people of any sex scare the frick out of me), but take action. It's sadly a cultural thing: women aren't expected to do the chasing in a relationship, those inclined are discouraged. Basically, you're not getting attention because you're not putting yourself out there, most likely due to social anxiety. Work to overcome that first, it will likely improve your life in other areas besides romance.
Also....someone mentioned Eliot Rodger in jest. I became a little obsessed with the case a while back, and couldn't help but think that your OP...sounds very reminiscent of his writing and videos. Like, holy frick, I could easily start a conspiracy theory that Rodger never died based on your posts. Not saying you're going to start stockpiling guns and enact your own day of retribution any time soon, but still, I find it troubling how there's this persisting attitude that a man who's never dated is a failure of a person. It simply isn't true.
E Rodgers situation wasn't really just about women.. That's one of the things he wrote about but he was a narcissistic sociopath who would have found a million reasons in his crazy head as why he wants to kill someone..
The agenda that was pushed that beneath the surface all these lonely guys are capable of this was stupid..
Possibly but in general id say men's issues with the opposite sex are treated much worse on sites like these then women's..
Then start your own thread on that topic, maybe? The issue the OP presents here isn't remotely a 'men's' issue. He has pretty acute mental issues which impact his abilities of functioning as an adult. The fact that he believes the right woman zeroing in on him and then doing all the things he erroneously believes is the formula to unlocking his happiness does not make this a gender based issue. That's his major error in addressing his issue, linking them to his inabilities with the opposite sex.
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