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Just absolutely awful. Heartbreaking for the people left behind and the woman who lost her life obviously.
I think we are making improvements but not fast enough.
There are still lots of loopholes in the system anusers use. There is still quite a lot of misogyny and victim blamingg/shaming which makes people less likely to be believed or get the help they need. Its sad and frankly sickening.
So many preventable deaths have not been prevented because of stigma, bias, and prejudice.
We are slowly moving in the right direction though.
Sharing stories like this raises awareness and hopefully when enough people take it seriously, changes in policy, and perception,wiill happen in the right direction. improvem
It cannot happen fast enough. A few years ago, a Pitt student was murdered by a jealous ex (who also had a rap sheet for abusing other women, too). Same situation regarding a PFA, although these two didn't have a child together as the victim in my neighborhood did. Both women had good reason to be in fear for their lives. Sure--they should have chosen better partners, but these types of abusers really know how to lay it on thick in the beginning.
This sort of abuse crosses racial, age, gender, and socio-economic lines yet it still goes largely ignored. They're trying to get a law put on the books to help to prevent such things from occurring in future, but of course, it's stalled in the state legislature.
The more that I've told about what precipitated the most recent murder, the angrier I become. She didn't hide her fear, so many who knew her knew how unstable and dangerous this ex of hers was, but who would have thought that he would have broken parole, collected the gun that he'd stolen from her, take the bus to this neighborhood, call the store, and be waiting at the bus stop to take her life? Twenty-eight years old with her whole future in front of her and two babies to raise just....gone.
They're trying to get a law put on the books to help to prevent such things from occurring in future, but of course, it's stalled in the state legislature.
It's horrifying to learn how the law hasn't kept up with reality. I listened to a podcast on the Golden State Killer a while back, and it used to be that DMV would provide personal information. So he would pick a target and take their license plate number in and they'd *give out* her name and address. Or women would report being stalked, and the police response was, "well, it's not illegal to sit in a car on a public street..."
It's horrifying to learn how the law hasn't kept up with reality. I listened to a podcast on the Golden State Killer a while back, and it used to be that DMV would provide personal information. So he would pick a target and take their license plate number in and they'd *give out* her name and address. Or women would report being stalked, and the police response was, "well, it's not illegal to sit in a car on a public street..."
Crikey.
The law that's stuck in the legislative wheels could really make a difference---in some, a life and death difference. Even one life saved would make it worth it.
I do wonder how often a woman voices fears and she is just dismissed. Misogynistic concepts like "hysterical" "attention seeker" or "overreacting" might be involved.
The day that a woman expresses fear and is believed and offered assistance, and not shamed for it...well that day will be an improvement. How we are not ther in 2022, I just don't know.
But I give you big props for sharing this story and even being aware of it. This is what we need to see more of.
People supporting women, spreading awareness. I am focusing on women right now but this goes for any person dealing with oppression of any kind. In this situation it happens to be a woman.
She asked for and reached out for help and she was ignored. Why?
She even took steps to protect herself, from what you said. Not a shrinking violet passively accepting her fate. But it wasn't enough.
Who failed her? And how can this situation be prevented?
I do wonder how often a woman voices fears and she is just dismissed. Misogynistic concepts like "hysterical" "attention seeker" or "overreacting" might be involved.
The day that a woman expresses fear and is believed and offered assistance, and not shamed for it...well that day will be an improvement. How we are not ther in 2022, I just don't know.
But I give you big props for sharing this story and even being aware of it. This is what we need to see more of.
People supporting women, spreading awareness. I am focusing on women right now but this goes for any person dealing with oppression of any kind. In this situation it happens to be a woman.
She asked for and reached out for help and she was ignored. Why?
She even took steps to protect herself, from what you said. Not a shrinking violet passively accepting her fate. But it wasn't enough.
Who failed her? And how can this situation be prevented?
Both women did reach out, but a PFA can only do so much if an abuser is set upon murder. The law that one of the victim's family is trying to get passed would give courts the means to actively enforce PFAs instead of just fines and/or imprisonment if violated. Pretty much means that an abuser against whom a PFA has been issued would be electronically monitored with a device that would alert the police *and* the abused individual. This would give the latter at least a fighting chance of getting to safety or avoiding home, work, friend's houses, etc., and the police more "teeth" when it comes to enforcing the PFA. It's not a perfect solution, but it might have made all the difference for those two murdered young women.
*Why I'm aware of the most recent story is that a.) it happened in my neighborhood and I pass where she was killed nearly every day and b.) it turned out that she was/is a close relative of an old friend. The earlier story was big news at the time because it happened to a University of Pittsburgh student. I used to live not far from where she was murdered in her own home. I also always think of that former coworker of mine who sheltered in my apartment for a while way back when and another friend who had a psycho ex and am glad that they didn't become another statistic when it so easily could have happened to them, too.
That law sounds great. Too often the law comes around after the fact, when someone has already been murdered. But it doesn't do much to prevent a murder.
Too many people have been murdered by people that were behaving unhinged, but the authorities just kept saying "Sorry but we cant do anything until they kill you."
That monitoring device sounds like genius. I hope that gets implemented very soon.
That law sounds great. Too often the law comes around after the fact, when someone has already been murdered. But it doesn't do much to prevent a murder.
Too many people have been murdered by people that were behaving unhinged, but the authorities just kept saying "Sorry but we cant do anything until they kill you."
That monitoring device sounds like genius. I hope that gets implemented very soon.
Laws are for law abiding citizens…. There are ALL kinds of laws on the books and they don’t seem to be a deterrent to criminals and crime. Murdering someone could get you life in prison and possibly even the death penalty, but people are still murdering other people at an alarming rate. Things seem to be getting worse ever since the “defund police” movement raised it’s ugly head. Seems like nobody wants to prosecute criminals any more. Sad!
Laws are for law abiding citizens…. There are ALL kinds of laws on the books and they don’t seem to be a deterrent to criminals and crime. Murdering someone could get you life in prison and possibly even the death penalty, but people are still murdering other people at an alarming rate. Things seem to be getting worse ever since the “defund police” movement raised it’s ugly head. Seems like nobody wants to prosecute criminals any more. Sad!
Interesting. How much have arrests and prosecutions dropped?
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Interesting. How much have arrests and prosecutions dropped?
Its all over the news on just about a daily basis!
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I also always think of that former coworker of mine who sheltered in my apartment for a while way back when and another friend who had a psycho ex and am glad that they didn't become another statistic when it so easily could have happened to them, too.
