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In your own words OP, "if his friends were more diverse, then I wouldn't care..." Your intuition is warning you that something is not right. I wonder if you held back from asking him about the dangerous comment, because you knew you would not like the answer?
I have a friend who cheats on her husband and he cheats on her, but I've asked her not to even tell me when they do such things as I find it upsetting. I dropped another friend because she was going after married men. I'm sorry, but IMO, the company you keep does have a lot of sway in your thinking which is why one should be mindful of such things.
It's one thing to go out for the odd drink with your dodgy mate, but if these are the people he chooses to hang around with every weekend for instance, I would be very suspicious.
I also dated a guy who loathed his dad coz he cheated on his mum. I thought he would never cheat because he understood what it was like, but he did. I don't think people cheat because their parents cheated, but they cheat because they can. I would be very wary to continue with this relationship. Good luck
My best friend admitted to me that he cheated on his girlfriend when he was in a band and was out in Californis recording a record. This was like 11+ years ago now and he's no longer with her. They were together for about 7-7.5 years by that time and wound up being together for over 9 in total. They were actually engaged at the time. But he says they just messed around and didn't actually have sex, not that it makes it any better or more acceptable. But he says he thinks his love life might be cursed because of this. I would hope I never got judged for this, just because it was something he did. Not that many people even know about it.
My best friend admitted to me that he cheated on his girlfriend when he was in a band and was out in Californis recording a record. This was like 11+ years ago now and he's no longer with her. They were together for about 7-7.5 years by that time and wound up being together for over 9 in total. They were actually engaged at the time. But he says they just messed around and didn't actually have sex, not that it makes it any better or more acceptable. But he says he thinks his love life might be cursed because of this. I would hope I never got judged for this, just because it was something he did. Not that many people even know about it.
There's nothing wrong with opening up to your partner. You should be able to tell your partner anything. However, if every night you come home with a tale about your friends' dodgy antics, it would give me cause for concern about the type of people you choose to surround yourself with.
Your best friend sound remorseful about his cheating whereas OP's bf's mates are bragging about their conquests & it is unclear whether her bf is also partaking in such behaviour. We all makes mistakes, but most of us learn from them and try not to repeat them. There's a difference between something that happened years ago and has never been repeated since, & something that happened a week ago and the forecast says it's likely to be a repeat offense.
The OP sounds like in her heart of hearts she knows this is a no go, but people ignore their intuition all the time so perhaps only time will tell.
Yes, you can tell a man by the company he keeps. If he hangs around with people who cheat on or lie to their wives or treat women poorly, maybe he will not lie or cheat to you but he is still saying he is okay with that behavior in the people he is around. That is no good. I would not put too much time into this guy.
Yes, you can tell a man by the company he keeps. If he hangs around with people who cheat on or lie to their wives or treat women poorly, maybe he will not lie or cheat to you but he is still saying he is okay with that behavior in the people he is around. That is no good. I would not put too much time into this guy.
No, In what way does that say he condones that sort of behaviour?
It's none of his business who his friends cheat with or not.... He clearly takes them on face value which is how it should be...... It's the one on one and other traits that make the friendship
Plus it's irrelevant now as the OP has realised how good he treats her and has even invited her out to join his friends on a night out..... Which I think is brilliant on both parts
Last night I asked him about the "dangerous" comment and he said it was slang. They say "dangerous" for anything and I am aware of that slang but because of other things, I didn't take it as something not as serious.
Last night I asked him about the "dangerous" comment and he said it was slang. They say "dangerous" for anything and I am aware of that slang but because of other things, I didn't take it as something not as serious.
Oh what so for example..... " me and the boys are going out for a stag night on such and such a date ... It's gonna be " dangerous " ..."
Meaning it's going to be a crazy night out.... Just like you and I would say " it's gonna be mental " or " it's gonna get messy "..... Basically just a rather splendid night out!
Lots of people, especially party-loving college-age guys and people in the entertainment industry, say "dangerous" as slang...it's generally not meant to be taken literally in that context. However, many people (but not all, not even close) tend to eventually grow out of that "crazy night out" phase of their lives...or at least do it a lot less frequently...once they get a bit older (late 20s or 30s or so). They'll still go out and have lots of fun and enjoy nightlife with their friends/girlfriend/etc, but they'll just tone down the wildness some. Those that don't tend to have maturity issues.
Many people, even those with a good head on their shoulders, have "that one friend" that may be a bit...awry or odd. Especially younger people. But with that said, this comment:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
I believe you can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep.
...is right on the money. Likewise with Frihed's comment.
There's a reason why most decent folks, particularly once they reach their late 20s and older, tend to become more careful about who they associate and hang out with. They may still remain friends or acquaintances with that one unsavory person (especially if that friendship has been in place for many years...and perhaps that person has a couple of good qualities mixed in with the bad). But even then it's likely that there will be a gradual distancing or drifting apart.
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