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Oh what so for example..... " me and the boys are going out for a stag night on such and such a date ... It's gonna be " dangerous " ..."
Meaning it's going to be a crazy night out.... Just like you and I would say " it's gonna be mental " or " it's gonna get messy "..... Basically just a rather splendid night out!
There's nothing wrong with opening up to your partner. You should be able to tell your partner anything. However, if every night you come home with a tale about your friends' dodgy antics, it would give me cause for concern about the type of people you choose to surround yourself with.
Your best friend sound remorseful about his cheating whereas OP's bf's mates are bragging about their conquests & it is unclear whether her bf is also partaking in such behaviour. We all makes mistakes, but most of us learn from them and try not to repeat them. There's a difference between something that happened years ago and has never been repeated since, & something that happened a week ago and the forecast says it's likely to be a repeat offense.
The OP sounds like in her heart of hearts she knows this is a no go, but people ignore their intuition all the time so perhaps only time will tell.
Well at the time this happened with my buddy, I made the mistake of telling my then girlfriend about it. I loved her so much, but she was very, VERY insecure. And I'm pretty sure she asked me the next 3 or 4 years that we were together after this ''You're not gonna cheat on me like he did to her?''
I played in a band and went on tour to Europe, we talked a lot while I was away and she would always ask ''What were you doing last night at *insert whatever time*?'' and I'd have to tell ''Relax! I was streaming the Devils game!'' and she'd constantly bring up what my friend did, since he was on tour/recording a record when he happened to commit this cheating.
You can defiantly tell something/somethings about people by those they place in their direct group of influence. At the lowest level it is a show of what they find and place importance in.
How much you are willing to place bets and put faith in to anothers hands is a judgment call you have to make with your own better judgment skills.
It's an impossible endeavor looking for the right answers to the larger questions associated to your specific set of people and circumstances for those not directly involved with the ones in question.
Last edited by rego00123; 08-15-2016 at 11:34 PM..
My dad committed a couple of very bad and shameful crimes years back, I personally feel he got off quite easy for what he did.
I always worried that I would be judged as the same kind of person because of this, despite the fact that I couldn't stand him and couldn't have given a bigger crap when he died. But I really wouldn't discuss him until I got to know a girl or any person very well.
The worst was when I met my fiance's dad for the first time. He is from the same town as my dad and we have the same first and last time. This was pretty much our first date and she was by her dad's house and had to run in and get something and invited me inside. He told me after meeting him that I looked familiar and asked me my name. As soon as I told him my first name, I could tell that he knew he was on to something. Then he asked me my last name and I shamefully told him. He didn't even know about his legal trouble later in life, but knew who he was when he was younger.
Well at the time this happened with my buddy, I made the mistake of telling my then girlfriend about it. I loved her so much, but she was very, VERY insecure. And I'm pretty sure she asked me the next 3 or 4 years that we were together after this ''You're not gonna cheat on me like he did to her?''
I played in a band and went on tour to Europe, we talked a lot while I was away and she would always ask ''What were you doing last night at *insert whatever time*?'' and I'd have to tell ''Relax! I was streaming the Devils game!'' and she'd constantly bring up what my friend did, since he was on tour/recording a record when he happened to commit this cheating.
Like you said, she was very insecure. It wouldn't have mattered whether you had told her about your friend as her reaction would have been the same regardless. Some people just have trust issues so there does not need to be a trigger to set off their insecurity.
Like you said, she was very insecure. It wouldn't have mattered whether you had told her about your friend as her reaction would have been the same regardless. Some people just have trust issues so there does not need to be a trigger to set off their insecurity.
She was insecure regardless, you're right.
But she never did have it in her head that I was going on tour and cheating on her, until after I told her that story.
The two of them weren't very good friends or anything. The 4 of us did go out together a few times, and even spent a week at his family's beach house and weekends a few times. I remember the next time my girlfriend saw his girlfriend, she kept saying for the rest of the night ''She's so nice and so pretty! Why did he cheat on her? Poor Jenny!''.
How does he treat YOU?..... That's the important thing.
Just that his friends are cheaters doesn't mean he is.... I've got a few that have cheated on their spouses and yes it's not nice but end of the day it's none of my business and the way they treat me as a friend is the reason I am in a friendship with them. ......... And no I'm not a cheater
IMO you would be wrong to tar him with the same brush until he gave you a genuine reason to himself.
Believe me I can understand your feeling and concern on this I really can and if it were me I'd go out of my way to prove that you had nothing to worry about ... Say by inviting you out with us for example . Its all about trust at the end of the day.... If no trust then it's no relationship
exactly right!! OP how does he treat you? has he ever cheated on you? i have had friends that were wild childs, and while they were fun to be around, i didnt participate in the things they liked to. for instance i didnt cheat on my girlfriends, even though they did. i didnt drink to excess, even though they did.
so if you wish to judge me by the company i keep, then you are doing both of us a serious disservice.
Definitely. One takes the behavior of one's company.
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