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I know a woman who found out her husband was cheating and told everyone. Her parents, their co-workers
( they worked with some of the same people) friends, etc.
When she had time to reflect on it, she wanted him back because they had been married for a long time and this was a blip, a massive screw-up, but it was between the two of them.
Only now it wasn't. Two things happened. She was too embarrassed to admit to everyone that she wanted him back, and it drove him straight into the other woman's life for good. Where else was he going to go?
That's a one-pull shotgun. Make sure you mean to kill what you aim it at.
In this case it's a partnership of their entire adult lives. This requires reflection, not knee-jerk action.
Best of luck , OP. this affair likely had more to do with vanity and insecurity than anything else.
Ps. And sometimes telling a lie about an affair, especially if it's over, is a way of not expunging your guilty conscience at your innocent spouse's expense. Why rock their world like that? Why make them question their attractiveness? Especially if it was just some dumbass mid-life crisis hump?
And whatever you decide to do, no matter what, No One has the right to question your choices. You take care of you, OP. I'm pulling for you.
The underlining reasoning for exposing it is to make the other accountable and not leave room to ignore or rewrite. It's to open the air and not allow personal discretion be the only factor in all things.
It doesn't matter why it happened in the broader sense of a reconciliation, what matters is you both understand where things are going and how to not allow them to get their again. if there is going to be reconciliation it has to happen not only on a surface level, but I personal level.
Otherwise you're just placing your needs over everything and not treating the actual core of the conflicts to come to any real determination other than what "you" would like to happen.
You cannot fix issues that are not understood. You can only ignore them or choose to live believeing they are normal and not an issue at all.
Last edited by rego00123; 09-29-2016 at 12:58 PM..
The underlining reasoning for exposing it is to make the other accountable and not leave room to ignore or rewrite. It's to open the air and not allow personal discretion be the only factor in all things.
It doesn't matter why it happened in the broader sense of a reconciliation, what matters is you both understand where things are going and how to not allow them to get their again. if there is going to be reconciliation it has to happen not only on a surface level, but I personal level.
Otherwise you're just placing your needs over everything and not treating the actual core of the conflicts to come to any real determination other than what "you" would like to happen.
You cannot fix issues that are not understood. You can only ignore them or choose to live believeing they are normal and not an issue at all.
Thank you,nice post,But can you please tell me why a wife who has the world in the palm of her hand do this to a devoted,always there for her.And treat me as a king still,and do this.
It's not at all unusual for someone that is trying to hide things to put on the best act possible because they think it will make it appear that everything is great and nothing is wrong and so avoid any suspicions or questions.
I you're enjoying the benefits of this 'perfect' wife, stop trying to screw it up with the truth.
It's not at all unusual for someone that is trying to hide things to put on the best act possible because they think it will make it appear that everything is great and nothing is wrong and so avoid any suspicions or questions.
I you're enjoying the benefits of this 'perfect' wife, stop trying to screw it up with the truth.
Yes its better when its all is good,than fighting,All I know a lot of men or women wouldn't care because everything is so perfect in front of them.I agree,I know what you saying.But there must be something more going on.Like I have a feeling that one day Iam going to come home and shes gone,and Iam mean gone.Without a note or anything,because if shes this cold behind my back,then she cold enough to leave without a care in the world.Thanks again
Like I have a feeling that one day Iam going to come home and shes gone,and Iam mean gone.Without a note or anything,because if shes this cold behind my back,then she cold enough to leave without a care in the world.Thanks again
Dude. Why are you waiting? Kick the ho to the curb. She could be giving you STDs for all you know, she's been having unprotected sex with this other guy.
Aww; I've read every post in all 11 pages of this thread & I feel SO BAD for this OP!
It's breaking MY heart; you can just feel the pain in his posts.
So sorry OP! I'm betting there are many, many women who have read this thread & are wishing that they had met you first.
WOW!Thanks so much.What you said means so much to me.Every day and night I live in pain of a broken heart,and I have to keep going on,like everything is great.And on my days off like today,instead of having fun and enjoying my day off,Iam in the house going threw her hiding spots and finding things,But when she left for work this morning she told me she was going to miss me and she loves me so much.But I know deep down shes yes going to work but she will see a man and who knows whatThanks again
WOW!Thanks so much.What you said means so much to me.Every day and night I live in pain of a broken heart,and I have to keep going on,like everything is great.And on my days off like today,instead of having fun and enjoying my day off,Iam in the house going threw her hiding spots and finding things,But when she left for work this morning she told me she was going to miss me and she loves me so much.But I know deep down shes yes going to work but she will see a man and who knows whatThanks again
What is it that you want out of this marriage? You have have to decide that. Do you want to stay married to her? If yes, then you will need to make that clear to yourself. They are always going to deny when it comes to cheating. trust me when I say this. Evn when you have plenty of proof. She is going to deny that.
What you can do it ask yourself if leaving her will make you happy. If the answer is a resounding yes, then you should leave her.
If there is hesitation, what you need is take a step back, make changes. You have to be comfortable with your choices.
What is it that you want out of this marriage? You have have to decide that. Do you want to stay married to her? If yes, then you will need to make that clear to yourself. They are always going to deny when it comes to cheating. trust me when I say this. Evn when you have plenty of proof. She is going to deny that.
What you can do it ask yourself if leaving her will make you happy. If the answer is a resounding yes, then you should leave her.
If there is hesitation, what you need is take a step back, make changes. You have to be comfortable with your choices.
No I don't want to leave her,I want to stay married.YES!I know she will fight to the death and lie to me.And If I stay how can I ever trust her again?.Even if she does treat me like a king.Still theres that secret life she is living,I think theres something wrong in her head.Knowing she can destroy a married for her secret life.
No I don't want to leave her,I want to stay married.YES!
I have to ask, then, why are you continuing with this thread?
You won't leave her and you won't confront her so what do you think we can do for you?
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