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I haven't seen this topic discussed before, so here goes. Have you, or someone you know, been in an unusual marriage? An example of unusual might be a marriage that lasted for one day (I imagine death could cause this), marrying someone and then never seeing them again (without death involved), or post-nuptially discovering major issues about your partner that turned your life upside down but you stuck with it anyway.
Here's mine, probably fairly common since the advent of Internet. I met somebody online from a country 10,000 miles away and we corresponded for over a year (only Internet, no telephone). This person took a vacation to the US and we decided to meet in Las Vegas (near where I lived at the time). We got married one day after meeting - hey, why the hell not? Nothing else going on in our lives. Immediately after the "wedding" this person flew on to Florida for the remainder of their vacation time.
It took me six months to organize a trip 10,000 miles away, and when I got there it didn't take long for me to realize what a stupid mistake I made. I did not like this person. I left, and six more months passed before I decided to give it a second chance. I made another trip and again couldn't stand being with my "spouse", so spent most of the month traveling alone around the country before returning to the US. A few months later, this person made a second trip to the US (to see me, supposedly) and it was then determined the marriage was not a match. The marriage was never consumated and I sat on the divorce for over a year before finally just getting it over with. The marriage cost $100, the divorce $400. The airfare and travel expenses...who knows, who cares.
I don't have one personally, but I know someone who vacationed in Thailand met a girl married her and brought her over to the US. They're still together (6 months later) but that's a huge leap of faith to marry someone who you haven't spent much quality time with. Chalk it up to experience.
I knew someone for years, dated them for four months then they moved and we long-distanced it for 7 months. Then had a big church wedding with mass. I sold my almost paid for house in FL, gave up my great work at home job with great pay and benefits and moved to the desert. Within two months was told that he loved me, thought I had a great personality, was smart and funny but was not attracted to me. But there was hope that it could happen
I always wondered how it would be to be married to someone but live apart i.e. maybe just next door because of individual habits, tastes, decor, need for space.
My aunt (who is gay) and her husband (who is bisexual) got married in Germany many many years ago, because a "gay hunt" was going on on their army base. They never divorced (neither one can afford it and they aren't worried about it anyway) and are best friends. They still visit eachother and have a great time.
They never divorced (neither one can afford it and they aren't worried about it anyway) and are best friends. They still visit eachother and have a great time.
You almost know this variation will come up. You didn't say whether they still lived under the same roof and for how long they lived under the same roof. Did they have any kids? It sounds like this particular situation was for their "survival" and amicable, so it probably worked out for them without any kind of deceit.
Seriously, there are some couples out there where one likes "their own kind" and the other spouse DOESN'T CARE...they like the stability that comes from being married, or like many qualities about the other person, and DON'T CARE that the other spouse may be under the sheets with someone else.
The sexual rapport issue is pretty darn central to the whole equation. I don't know how it can be overlooked.
I always wondered how it would be to be married to someone but live apart i.e. maybe just next door because of individual habits, tastes, decor, need for space.
I'm gonna have to rep you over that post. I not only wonder about that, but am absolutely in LOVE with the idea!
This part will not be so unusual: Met my husband who was living with a friend of mine. We all were friends for 1 year. He and I became attracted to one another, dated for 1, then married. Fought like a cat and a dog, but chemistry was undeniable, still is. Now we live under 2 different roofs, and spend the night together most nights.
I'm gonna have to rep you over that post. I not only wonder about that, but am absolutely in LOVE with the idea!
In Oprah's book which I skimmed in a book store one day, mentioned that a lot of people do that....live apart. Seems to work for them. Guess you have housecalls. Nicholas Cage I believe has always lived separate from his wives or substantial other halves. Don't think any of those lasted.
When I was dating my first husband and we would go out and then have a good time...I always sent him on his way (even when engaged). I remember him telling me "when we are married, I'm not leaving". I thought it was odd but funny for him to say that.
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I felt like I was in twilight zone
