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It's not "cool" or natural. Only desperate losers resort to it, according to the people who are embarrassed. And some other desperate loser that they know in real life might see them on the site and find out that they're a desperate loser too and that would be SUPER embarrassing since they're both in the same boat.
I feel like Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook and apps have killed traditional OLD
They definitely approach the "OLD process" differently.
What they do is turn it on it's ear... by going straight to the "let's meet" or just hook up stage.
In that way they're more like a pick up bar.
But for those who want more in their life than a date for just THIS weekend...
and those who aren't location limited so their date must be in the same zip code...
the greater depth of information on OLD profiles will continue to work pretty well.
(Some OLD sites being better for some types users than the others might be)
The key of course is that you still have to actually meet. And to do so asap. Don't unduly delay the meeting.
It's not "cool" or natural. Only desperate losers resort to it, according to the people who are embarrassed. And some other desperate loser that they know in real life might see them on the site and find out that they're a desperate loser too and that would be SUPER embarrassing since they're both in the same boat.
LOL. I sure do know a lot of "desperate losers" that are in relationships and marriages with other "desperate losers". We're all pretty happy with it too.
I feel like Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook and apps have killed traditional OLD
Funny you say that, because for me Facebook (along with Myspace) was online dating BEFORE "traditional" online dating. In 2004-2005, actual dating sites were still a couple of years away from mainstream acceptance (in my circles, anyway), but FB (if you had a university email address) and MySpace (even if you didn't) were fertile grounds for hooking up. In fact, that was more-or-less their unspoken primary purpose. Those were heady times! Then MySpace disappeared and Facebook turned into a place for grandmas to look at baby photos. That change happened seemingly overnight, though in reality I guess it took place over a couple of years. That was when I started using actual dating sites.
I'm too old to care about Instagram or Snapchat (the latter in particular really baffles me), but if there is still frequent hooking up happening over Facebook (as in strangers meeting for the first time and hooking up-- not middle-aged former high school classmates), then I'm apparently no longer included in it the way I was in its early days. I find eHarmony, Tinder, Bumble, Happn, etc., to be far more productive these days.
Also-- though nobody seems to talk about this, either-- LinkedIn is a hidden gem, believe it or not, at least for professionals in an urban environment. It's nothing like Facebook was at universities in 2005, but it's way better than Facebook is now.
Last edited by SkylarkPhotoBooth; 12-14-2016 at 08:15 AM..
At first I was a little embarrassed that people would think I was desperate for a man but I've come around to not caring. I've seen that there are actually some quality men and a lot of really successful attractive women using it so it's not just something lonely losers use because they can't find someone in real life. I'm assuming these profiles aren't fake. I don't think they are because these aren't perfect model looking people but regular nice looking people with decent jobs and some baggage.
I have a good friend who met her husband through POF so I know that people can find a real relationship through OLD if they put some effort into it to weed out the weirdos. I talked to a few nice guys that had potential but my situation is complicated so they weren't a good match for me but could be a great guy for someone else.
For the last few weeks I've been looking at profiles of men on POF and I've seen a few men that look interesting so this evening I worked up the nerve to create my own profile but for some reason I can't seem to bring myself to complete it. I'm especially nervous about putting a picture of myself out there for the world to see. I keep thinking that someone I know is going to come across it and think I'm desperate and pathetic for looking for dates on the internet. I feel embarrassed by the whole thing really.
I know logically a lot of people date this way now and it's pretty normal but part of me feels like a loser for not being able to meet someone the old-fashioned way. It's hard though, I'm a busy single mom and I don't have a lot of time to go out.
I'm also worried that I'm not going to get very many replies or that once they see me in person they will be disappointed. If you meet someone at a bar or a grocery store you know up front what the other person really looks like. I'm not bad looking but we all look different in person.
Anyone else feel this way about online dating and did you go through with it anyway? Did anyone you know ever see your profile somewhere and call you out on it? Did you care? Did most dates go pleasantly enough? Help I'm new to dating!!
First off just how you're thinking like this is attractive. No I don't see a deficiency in a lady that puts themselves online for OLD. I'm surprised more legit women don't do it for many of the reasons you cited. That's similar to why I was using it.
I think many don't because a lot of what you said. On the flip side, I think deep down a lot of women don't really have that much respect for men also that use that as a way to meet women. In my experience, I'm already guilty before proclaimed innocence. I think women subtlety are attracted to the real life approach method.
There are presuppositions that come along with meeting someone online. People are more superficial as well and act different. For example I never get ghosted in real life encounters as I know the person, but it happens quite frequently in the OLD world. I still haven't been the best at adapting to believe that's not simply just a rude and childish way to handle communicating to someone that it was just not there. I greatly admire a lady now that will kindly communicate this out right.
For me, I've decided to quit all of OLD together due to terrible results over an on and off period of a couple years. Interestingly, the best prospects of people I met on there were by coincidence that I knew them in real life. So we had a footing to stand on initially.
The key is getting out there and being socially interactive. If you're a good girl or good guy, friends will tell friends and eventually you will meet someone. I actually have had much more success in the interactive social sites. Facebook is a good thing also.
But not OLD. Bad experience from at least one man's perspective. There are plenty of women that get frustrated with it also.
I recommend not worrying about posting your profile, but keep minimal expectations while having fun. This way you don't get discouraged and start coming across as offstandish to men projecting an attitude as many seem to evolve toward due to poor results apparently.
I'm not embarrassed to tell most people I met my boyfriend on Match: friends, coworkers, relatives my age or younger. Plenty of people use online dating and that stigma of years ago is just a memory. However, I'm a little embarrassed to tell older relatives of mine. Mostly because they don't get it and think online dating is full of predators, people looking for easy sex, criminals and con artists, or something. It's just not worth it to tell them (if you know what I mean).
One thing I will warn you about. Online dating isn't easy for most people and it will be a lot of work if you want to find someone... even if you are a young woman (don't buy into the women have it easy myth or else you will find yourself wondering what's wrong with you.) It took me almost two years to find my boyfriend. He's wonderful and we are a great match for each other. But it took two years and a lot of trial and error. If things aren't great at first, remember, nothing is wrong with you. Google some blogs and articles written by other women about their experiences. And good luck!
I have actually and it's sad how much negative experiences women talk about. They far outnumber the good stories.
I do think there is a stigma among many women that use the site that it is "full of predators, people looking for easy sex, criminals and con artists"
That is why I've grown weary and tired of this medium. Feel like I'm on trial for a crime uncommitted.
Ultimately like I said earlier, I think overall women don't respect a man as much that uses OLD over a direct real life approach.
I find the latter much more appealing and satisfying to my ego also lol.
Also I don't particularly find most women using OLD to be attractive for some reason. Either they make it clear how great they are with their amazing career with children from an ex husband that come first in their life or they just come across as mean and nasty with trust issues. Both are instant turnoffs for me.
So yep LondonCowboy this boy has officially thrown in the towel Like that guy want to fly to the UK and have a beer with him sometime, and meet a couple cuties I've met out that way in the process lol.
Yeah, it's unfortunate for the cool and nice guys that they have to deal with creepy guys on OLD, so they get lose in the shuffle.
I actually think it's GREAT for us halfway decent guys that some of our competition is so weak. It just makes us look better by comparison.
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Like that guy want to fly to the UK and have a beer with him sometime, and meet a couple cuties I've met out that way in the process lol.