Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I thought this thread would be about beliefs pertaining to faith, humanity, maybe even politics or art or health, but instead it seems to be about avoiding certain things perceived to be 'bad.' That, and a lot of fear. And, IMHO, about claiming you're against something you couldn't have anyway.
In my opinion, just being against something is what I call a negative belief. Ever notice how some people can make a list of all the things they don't like more easily than they can make a list of things they like?
Anyhow.
In my 20s up to almost 30, I did lots of non traditional things with my life. I can separate them all into two categories: stuff I genuinely loved and stuff I was doing to prove a point or just check a box. Thing is I couldn't differentiate between the two at the time. All I knew was sometimes I came home relaxed and happy and sometimes I came home still anxious and unfulfilled. I was forcing things in the latter case, because I "believed" they were right and that I needed to do them.
Even more so, I believe that a relationship is supposed to be, first and foremost, easy. "Hard work" is just Hollywood BS to get people to produce more taxpayers. (Because welfare programs and tax cuts for the rich.) If a relationship isn't smoothly coasting along on its own and its problems aren't resolving themselves, then it's not a good relationship, and should be promptly ended.
Is a friendship supposed to be "hard work"? No! Then why should a relationship be? Anyone, other than Hollywood, have an answer? Conversely, if two friends always argue, they stop being friends, plain and simple! Then why in the world are you supposed to "work through it" when there's a ye olde relationshippe [sic] going on?
I agree with this for the most part. Treat your partner with the level of respect you would want yourself, always be attentive to them and do not take them for granted. If those principles are followed a relationship should be relatively easy unless something traumatic occurs caused by an outside source. People will have to raise the bar a bit to overcome those instances.
The traditional nuclear family is hard work. I don't shy away for hard work if there is a benefit in it for me. However it seems like the traditional family routine mostly benefits society rather than the individual...not worth any effort.
The traditional nuclear family is hard work. I don't shy away for hard work if there is a benefit in it for me. However it seems like the traditional family routine mostly benefits society rather than the individual...not worth any effort.
This just might be true, for all you or I know. I refuse to partake as well.
I would also like to suggest that breaking up thriving extended families into two or more nuclear families---which we know as "traditional family" today---was a government scheme to boost sales of consumer goods and real estate (houses). Is it truth or is it plain old conspiracy theory? You (plural) decide!
I would also like to suggest that breaking up thriving extended families into two or more nuclear families---which we know as "traditional family" today---was a government scheme to boost sales of consumer goods and real estate (houses). Is it truth or is it plain old conspiracy theory? You (plural) decide!
Well, taking your hypothesis even further ... breaking up nuclear families into custodial parent and visitation parent households creates even more need for consumer goods and housing.
Well, taking your hypothesis even further ... breaking up nuclear families into custodial parent and visitation parent households creates even more need for consumer goods and housing.
Your theory could be true as well. However, each divorcee can't afford the same home on one income that they could afford on two as a nuclear family. So we need affordable housing for the divorcees to live in, which the real estate market has been doing a poor job at supplying lately. Especially considering the extra expenses for both the custodial parent (babysitters, etc.) and the visiting parent (child support, etc.) that they didn't have while married. The reason the government was able to break up nuclear families effectively, is that there was affordable housing available in the first place, whether renting or buying. That seems to be changing in the recent decade; the jury is still out on the resulting divorce rate.
I stand by my original assessment stated on page one
Why do you say friends with benefits?, just because i don't want to live with them have kids or get married?, I don't see why I cannot have a relationship without those three things, seems like you are trying to put me in a box.
Even more so, I believe that a relationship is supposed to be, first and foremost, easy. "Hard work" is just Hollywood BS to get people to produce more taxpayers. (Because welfare programs and tax cuts for the rich.) If a relationship isn't smoothly coasting along on its own and its problems aren't resolving themselves, then it's not a good relationship, and should be promptly ended.
Is a friendship supposed to be "hard work"? No! Then why should a relationship be? Anyone, other than Hollywood, have an answer? Conversely, if two friends always argue, they stop being friends, plain and simple! Then why in the world are you supposed to "work through it" when there's a ye olde relationshippe [sic] going on?
At first blush your post is logical. However, friendships mostly fulfill companionship needs and not a lot beyond that.
The stakes are often higher in a "relationship" where the common expectation is that companionship, romance, physical, and familial needs will be fulfilled. You can argue that is an unfair expectation but many do have that expectation and if so then some level of effort (is all effort "work" - outside of physics, that is?) may be necessary at points to maintain the relationship.
If you're okay with everyone (or you) jumping ship at the first squabble and having 100% breakup and divorce rates then don't put any effort in - simple! Everyone has to evaluate the degree of differences they can tolerate and whether it is "worth it" or not. If people choose to work harder at a relationship it is because they perceive it is more valuable than something they let go easily.
Do you have some baggage you want to get counseling to resolve?
Other answer. I knew an executive who never cohabited even and married for first time at age 73. Eventually he understood that some areas are very hard on singles, just woman mainly, and he could do an old female friend he trusted a favor when she no longer felt safe living alone. Some cities are REALLY creepy places to females, especially poor areas. No one lives alone for long in poor neighborhood or they move out in a body bag. Even the wealthy women can feel creeped after meeting something threatening in community and you know the cops/courts won't do a thing to protect the females or girls., just leaving the wealthy predators run and the poor sex abuser victims just run off as the cops/courts just ruin the victims who cannot afford any attorney; the wealthy REPEAT abusers ALWAYS have good counsel. Anyway, Is healthier for seniors to have a companion in the house as health emergencies are noticed sooner...
Might try being open minded for a while and see what you think...
The number of available females is about to shrink quickly at your age as the ticking clock, money problems or weirdo troubles motivate the women to relationships. Then you get the rebounders and divorces who have children to house and just not possible to go running around and deal with childcare to do FWB until age 55 or so for some women.
Why don't you get involved for some relationship time and think about it quietly for a while...? Could have separate bedrooms if you hate snoring...Could always agree on some territory arrangement by your age for sure...I can sure understand if you live in a high cost of living area and your budget is a broom-closet...sticking two people in there is misery but some people do it with dinky housing trend. Kids in house REALLY challenges the territory things. You know, even a male coming and going from a female's pad after getting creeped keeps the neighborhood problems away a lot of the time.
Last edited by cattalk1; 03-27-2017 at 08:33 AM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
