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Add me to your list. I'd rep you, but I gotta spread it around first.
I'm as tired of the old "truly connect" speech as you are. When it comes to relationships, I prefer admiration and respect over love and caring. I realize that puts me in a small minority, but I don't care. I'm old enough to know that the Hollywood ideas of relationships are just government-sanctioned lies, designed to make people produce more taxpayers.
we are definitely a small minority, but its how we feel. it does seem everyone only respects the traditional relationship and doesn't put any credence into how we feel about relationships......
I don't think you need to be physically living there to be there for someone when you have a hard time you need to work through. Of course I'd be happy to come over and support my partner through something or if I couldn't physically be there listen to their trauma via phone call. My friends don't live with me but getting texts and calls from them when I'm going through something means the world.
But you said three very important words when it comes to this, in my opinion. Again, the only people that should define what a relationship is is those who are participating in the relationship.
Even more so, I believe that a relationship is supposed to be, first and foremost, easy. "Hard work" is just Hollywood BS to get people to produce more taxpayers. (Because welfare programs and tax cuts for the rich.) If a relationship isn't smoothly coasting along on its own and its problems aren't resolving themselves, then it's not a good relationship, and should be promptly ended.
Is a friendship supposed to be "hard work"? No! Then why should a relationship be? Anyone, other than Hollywood, have an answer? Conversely, if two friends always argue, they stop being friends, plain and simple! Then why in the world are you supposed to "work through it" when there's a ye olde relationshippe [sic] going on?
Here's my opinion on that... It's not important for you to find that woman YET..... have her come to you first.
Become the man you'd want to meet if you were a woman.
A strong leader and protector. An honest, loyal, loving man.
Be able to become that man, and you'll have to brush away more women than are on the planet.
They'll be coming out of the wood work. THAT'S when your time to pick should come, after you've become all who you're meant to be.
Wise words!!, I agree with it all, I am working on myself now
There's someone for everyone as long as you're open about what you want.
Don't play a 'gotcha' game where you start out the relationship traditionally and then just string her along. Be open from the start and you'll find someone who comes along.
I would never string a girl a long, I am upfront about what I want from the get go.
how many close relationships have you had that were "easy" - no work whatsoever? I can count on one hand how many of those I've had, and they ended quickly because we were still putting on first impressions and hadn't really gotten to know who the other person really was. Friendships and relationships overall are work because not everyone is happy-go-lucky and available for you at all times. People go through their own crap. They have bad days. They have losses. Supporting them and helping them deal with that crap is work. If you aren't willing to do that work, then you aren't cut out for ANY meaningful relationship.
how many close relationships have you had that were "easy" - no work whatsoever? I can count on one hand how many of those I've had, and they ended quickly because we were still putting on first impressions and hadn't really gotten to know who the other person really was. Friendships and relationships overall are work because not everyone is happy-go-lucky and available for you at all times. People go through their own crap. They have bad days. They have losses. Supporting them and helping them deal with that crap is work. If you aren't willing to do that work, then you aren't cut out for ANY meaningful relationship.
I never really considered any of those things work.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,753,896 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SelfRescuingPrincess
how many close relationships have you had that were "easy" - no work whatsoever? I can count on one hand how many of those I've had, and they ended quickly because we were still putting on first impressions and hadn't really gotten to know who the other person really was. Friendships and relationships overall are work because not everyone is happy-go-lucky and available for you at all times. People go through their own crap. They have bad days. They have losses. Supporting them and helping them deal with that crap is work. If you aren't willing to do that work, then you aren't cut out for ANY meaningful relationship.
I'm with burgler. It is not work for someone you care about. Now for someone you despise, it is work.
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I'd rep you, but I gotta spread it around first.
