Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Yes, you can bring it up with your primary care doc. At the same time, you could also ask if depression could be a factor, and mention that you have a history of that. Depression can affect libido.
Honestly, it's hard to say exactly what's doing on, except that we know you're really stressed from your job. I wonder, if you got into a job you enjoyed, and life started to look a bit more sunny, if your view of your partner might change for the better, too. It might. Or...not. But it can't hurt to check out all the possibilities, all the potential factors that could be contributing to the problem.
Do you two get along, otherwise? Do you enjoy each other's company, do stuff together on weekends, create positive memories to share?
Good call on mentioning the history of depression, and I agree that a new job could contribute to a different outlook. I do think my sex drive was better before, but it's unclear whether that's just correlation.
I think we generally get along day-to-day. We're more introverted, but we do spend at least some time together every night, and try to do something (like eat at a new restaurant) most weekends. It doesn't always happen, sometimes we just have lazy weekends.
Good call on mentioning the history of depression, and I agree that a new job could contribute to a different outlook. I do think my sex drive was better before, but it's unclear whether that's just correlation.
I think we generally get along day-to-day. We're more introverted, but we do spend at least some time together every night, and try to do something (like eat at a new restaurant) most weekends. It doesn't always happen, sometimes we just have lazy weekends.
You say your student loan debt is keeping you in your current job, but why couldn't you scout around for a similar job with a different employer? If you get a job offer--take it, and (hopefully) reap the rewards of a better office environment, and other positive changes. Or a different job in whatever your field is.
Have either of you ever had a sexual relationship with anyone else? Two inexperienced people who are afraid to openly talk about sex isn't really the recipe for a steamy sex life. Maybe the two of you just aren't compatible and too inexperienced to know better.
Ugh. Sex is over rated. But then again, I survived without it for 4 decades and when I experience it, it's meh at best.
And I think it's normal for sex frequency to wane as years go by? We went from 2-3 times a day to once a day to 2x a week to once a week to once a month. LOL. I also am the one initiating more lately.
I really don't care. It's not the end all and be all for me. I also think you being stress after work is a factor. My husband is the same whenever I mount him which is EVERY night, he always whines he is tired and I ALWAYS said I don't care. LOL. For me mounting him at night and canoodling is enough.
don't the the one and then you are more into the other. To be into one and not the other and leave your partner high and dry is fcked up.
I don't think you can say you have a low libido if you regularly do it yourself. Low libido = no desire for sex alone OR with anybody.
I tried to rep you, but I guess I have to spread it around, but you are absolutely correct. If someone has a so called low libido, they aren't watching porn either. They are watching porn to get off, so the libido is just fine. And if you are watching porn and getting off, and turning away your partner, that is a problem. If people are watching porn together, that's one thing, but sneaking and doing it alone, and then not having intimacy with your partner, is just not good for the relationship.
I tried to rep you, but I guess I have to spread it around, but you are absolutely correct. If someone has a so called low libido, they aren't watching porn either. They are watching porn to get off, so the libido is just fine. And if you are watching porn and getting off, and turning away your partner, that is a problem. If people are watching porn together, that's one thing, but sneaking and doing it alone, and then not having intimacy with your partner, is just not good for the relationship.
it is cruel and selfish and sends the message to your partner that they aren't good enough. You are sabotaging the relationship with such behavior.
Ugh. Sex is over rated. But then again, I survived without it for 4 decades and when I experience it, it's meh at best.
And I think it's normal for sex frequency to wane as years go by? We went from 2-3 times a day to once a day to 2x a week to once a week to once a month. LOL. I also am the one initiating more lately.
I really don't care. It's not the end all and be all for me. I also think you being stress after work is a factor. My husband is the same whenever I mount him which is EVERY night, he always whines he is tired and I ALWAYS said I don't care. LOL. For me mounting him at night and canoodling is enough.
Do you know what the second most popular activity in Assisted Living Centers is behind Bingo? And the main driver of the desire is that most of the residents are hooking up with people that are new to them. A man that is meh about sex with his spouse of 50 years will be a completely different animal (sic) with a woman he has never known. Vice versa as well but women (men too) often have an overlay of social indoctrination that inhibits their natural (human) behaviors.
Your situation is not unique, but the o.p. is 20, and as I understand it, this is his first sexual relationship. In his case I am not sure why there are five pages of back and forth on this. This should have been a two post thread: the o.p. and whichever one was the first post to say "watch all the porn you want dude, its a free country, but you might want to consider the needs of a partner that you enter into a sexual relationship with, if you can't deal well...There must be fifty ways to leave your lover, fifty ways to leave your lover...Just slip out the back, Jack, make a new plan, Stan
Don't need to be coy, Roy, just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus, don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee, and get yourself free...
don't the the one and then you are more into the other. To be into one and not the other and leave your partner high and dry is fcked up.
I don't think you can say you have a low libido if you regularly do it yourself. Low libido = no desire for sex alone OR with anybody.
Well, he said he hates his job and is stressed out, which I understand. Porn takes zero effort so maybe that's why he prefers it over actually having to perform for someone else and be attentive to their needs. But yes, it's a problem if you're in a relationship.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
