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first relationship for both of us
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we only have sex around once a month
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she's gained a bit of weight since we first started dating, and I've lost some physical attraction to her
If you really loved her, this would not bother you.
It's your first relationship; there will be others.
Cut bait and let this girl find someone who will love her for who she is on the inside as well as on the outside.
She's always been a little overweight, and I've been fine with that. It's just that in the past year or so she's gained a fairly large amount of extra weight. She's even mentioned it herself. I think I posted in the original post that I've tried to get her to join the gym when I go a couple times a week, but she never wants to. And I try to make healthier meals for myself, and cut out things like sugar, but she doesn't really care about eating healthy.
Could be or not, I really don't believe anyone what comes to weight. Many women believe they are over weight if they are not a size 0.. When usually sizes 2-12 are normal, depending how tall she is.
My bf said I am fat when I was in size 2 so I really don't believe anyones judgements. She could gain weight from size 6 to 12 and still be in her normal weight.
But if she is over weight and you cannot accept it, then she is and it is better to break up if weight is a deal breaker to you.
Yeah, that was my reaction, too. I've never heard of a guy getting bored during sex, during foreplay, or any of it. Especially a guy in his 20's. OP, maybe you should check with your doctor, to make sure your T levels are ok. Also, consider finding a different job, one that doesn't stress you out every day. It doesn't really sound like you're enjoying life. Any chance you might have a low-level depression going on?
Yeah, that was my reaction, too. I've never heard of a guy getting bored during sex, during foreplay, or any of it. Especially a guy in his 20's. OP, maybe you should check with your doctor, to make sure your T levels are ok. Also, consider finding a different job, one that doesn't stress you out every day. It doesn't really sound like you're enjoying life.
I don't think the OP ever mentioned their gender. It might be a female.
Well, maybe going to the gym isn't her thing. You could suggest something that you could do together, like dance classes or geocaching or just going for a walk. Do you cook and eat together, or are you just making healthy meals for yourself?
Otherwise, maybe your relationship has just run its course, and it's time for both of you to evaluate if you really have a future together.
Hmm, that's true. I know that she used to go jogging at the gym more regularly in the past, but maybe she never really enjoyed it. We do cook and eat together (sometimes she cooks dinner, sometimes I do, sometimes we order/go out), but lunches/breakfasts are a different story.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Yeah, that was my reaction, too. I've never heard of a guy getting bored during sex, during foreplay, or any of it. Especially a guy in his 20's. OP, maybe you should check with your doctor, to make sure your T levels are ok. Also, consider finding a different job, one that doesn't stress you out every day. It doesn't really sound like you're enjoying life. Any chance you might have a low-level depression going on?
Is this something I'd check out with a GP?
I feel kind of trapped in my current job due to my debt level, but I do want to get out once that's manageable. I guess low level depression is a possibility. I dealt with depression a lot when growing up and went to a therapist about it 5-6 years ago.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Book Lover 21
I don't think the OP ever mentioned their gender. It might be a female.
Does she blame you for her never having an orgasm? Or tell you that you're just not doing things right or enough?
Has she told you she has never had one either alone or with somebody?
Does she blame you for her never having an orgasm? Or tell you that you're just not doing things right or enough?
Has she told you she has never had one either alone or with somebody?
She's never blamed me, and hasn't mentioning anything about not doing things right or enough either.
I feel kind of trapped in my current job due to my debt level, but I do want to get out once that's manageable. I guess low level depression is a possibility. I dealt with depression a lot when growing up and went to a therapist about it 5-6 years ago.
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Yes, you can bring it up with your primary care doc. At the same time, you could also ask if depression could be a factor, and mention that you have a history of that. Depression can affect libido.
Honestly, it's hard to say exactly what's doing on, except that we know you're really stressed from your job. I wonder, if you got into a job you enjoyed, and life started to look a bit more sunny, if your view of your partner might change for the better, too. It might. Or...not. But it can't hurt to check out all the possibilities, all the potential factors that could be contributing to the problem.
Do you two get along, otherwise? Do you enjoy each other's company, do stuff together on weekends, create positive memories to share?
You should mention in couples counseling that your girlfriend got fat and you don't want to have sex with her until she loses weight.
That would be rather harsh but I'd mention I wasn't turned on anymore because of the weight. Plus, if someone is ok with the weight gain while dating what is going to happen if they get married.
Something I've noticed a lot is that one or both people get obese, the sex stops and they get divorced. Then and only then do they get back into shape. Makes no sense.
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