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I'm past an age where dating women with live-in children would be reasonable (although a few have live-in adult children, not a problem). So I wouldn't be dating any woman with a child who isn't an adult.
However I'm pretty sure if I had about twice the net worth that I wouldn't mind supporting us both. I'd still expect her to pay for her personal stuff like clothing and make-up.
My finances are slowly improving (I'm an investor) but I'll never have enough money to support two people completely unless I were willing to give up the possibility of international vacations, which I am not.
I am honestly so puzzled by women who have gotten to around 45-50 or so who don't have some type of personal nest egg, retirement account or healthy portfolio. Yes I understand "things happen" and people have to spend money and perhaps get behind but it seems that there are a number of women out there working to find some man to support them in later years.
I'm basing this on what I see in real life as well as some online sites where women openly admit they are seeking a man "to spoil them and make them happy". Sheesh. Bringing nothing to the table is okay I guess?
I am honestly so puzzled by women who have gotten to around 45-50 or so who don't have some type of personal nest egg, retirement account or healthy portfolio. Yes I understand "things happen" and people have to spend money and perhaps get behind but it seems that there are a number of women out there working to find some man to support them in later years.
I'm basing this on what I see in real life as well as some online sites where women openly admit they are seeking a man "to spoil them and make them happy". Sheesh. Bringing nothing to the table is okay I guess?
Just a few days ago, we had a 40YO lady come over for a visit. We have a lot of high-bush blueberry plants that need to be picked and she brought her children over to spend a few hours picking berries. As we were talking to her, she readily admitted that she wants a man. Who can support her and take some of the weight of parenting off her.
She is not bad looking, but most of the time she is exhausted. She does have a nice personality. But she has four children between 5 and 10 years old.
Her minimum standard right now for a man would be very low. At 40 she would bring nothing, but the children into a relationship.
Just a few days ago, we had a 40YO lady come over for a visit. We have a lot of high-bush blueberry plants that need to be picked and she brought her children over to spend a few hours picking berries. As we were talking to her, she readily admitted that she wants a man. Who can support her and take some of the weight of parenting off her.
She is not bad looking, but most of the time she is exhausted. She does have a nice personality. But she has four children between 5 and 10 years old.
Her minimum standard right now for a man would be very low. At 40 she would bring nothing, but the children into a relationship.
That is simply so strange to me. Four kids, so she wants a man to raise them, deal with all their issues, put them through college or trade school potentially? How about she sucks it up for a few years and gets some type of education or training that would increase her earning power?
Oh never mind. I clearly missed the course "Entitlement 101".
As a side question, how did you respond when she told you what her goal was?
I am honestly so puzzled by women who have gotten to around 45-50 or so who don't have some type of personal nest egg, retirement account or healthy portfolio. Yes I understand "things happen" and people have to spend money and perhaps get behind but it seems that there are a number of women out there working to find some man to support them in later years.
I want to point out that this not just women. Many men end up with a truck and a dog and an apartment at the same age, and both men and women suffer from poor retirement planning. It doesn't help if the person has an impulsive behavior and buys cars or charges up the credit card. These people think retirement is a long time away, which it both is and isn't. My parents taught me as a teenager to work hard, and they made it very clear that I would have to focus on retirement throughout my entire life beginning my first job. They also taught me good personal finance, not the pathetic dreck they teach in school, if they teach it at all.
I took their advice and I'm lying in the bed I made. Some people don't have the benefit of parents who taught good personal finance, or even the benefit of parents who understood or cared about personal finance. And then there is gender discrimination on the job and possibly teaching women lower aspirations in their careers. Then take out some years if they had children, and women are often at a financial disadvantage with respect to men.
All people should think of this! When you are 45-50 you have maybe 20+ years until you hit the point where employers may not be interested in you, and you had better have another plan. Another plan usually means you put the maximum in your 401k and had a savings plan (like 20% of your salary) and did some thinking about where you'd live and how you'll feed yourself at 66+ years old. — For women, if your plan was to marry a rich man before then, then maybe that wasn't such a good plan.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Danica32
I'm basing this on what I see in real life as well as some online sites where women openly admit they are seeking a man "to spoil them and make them happy". Sheesh. Bringing nothing to the table is okay I guess?
There's another name for that and it involves a man giving a woman money or other valuable consideration in exchange for the woman giving him sex. It's legal in Nevada except for Clark County.
[quote=Lovehound;52636716]I want to point out that this not just women. Many men end up with a truck and a dog and an apartment at the same age, and both men and women suffer from poor retirement planning. It doesn't help if the person has an impulsive behavior and buys cars or charges up the credit card. These people think retirement is a long time away, which it both is and isn't. My parents taught me as a teenager to work hard, and they made it very clear that I would have to focus on retirement throughout my entire life beginning my first job. They also taught me good personal finance, not the pathetic dreck they teach in school, if they teach it at all.
I took their advice and I'm lying in the bed I made. Some people don't have the benefit of parents who taught good personal finance, or even the benefit of parents who understood or cared about personal finance. And then there is gender discrimination on the job and possibly teaching women lower aspirations in their careers. Then take out some years if they had children, and women are often at a financial disadvantage with respect to men.
All people should think of this! When you are 45-50 you have maybe 20+ years until you hit the point where employers may not be interested in you, and you had better have another plan. Another plan usually means you put the maximum in your 401k and had a savings plan (like 20% of your salary) and did some thinking about where you'd live and how you'll feed yourself at 66+ years old. — For women, if your plan was to marry a rich man before then, then maybe that wasn't such a good plan
You make a good point about it not just being women.
And I had the same parents, thankfully, so I was able to easily retire way earlier than traditional retirement age.
That is simply so strange to me. Four kids, so she wants a man to raise them, deal with all their issues, put them through college or trade school potentially? How about she sucks it up for a few years and gets some type of education or training that would increase her earning power?
She has an older son [maybe 20-25] who is working at a subway sandwich shop.
But yes otherwise she wants a man to support her.
Quote:
... how did you respond when she told you what her goal was?
I tried to be a supportive friend and listen to her.
In her eyes, I am an old man retired a long time and my wife was present the whole time. She did not make any real 'moves' on me. Though it was a hot day, her t-shirt was loose fitting and I got an eyefull of her breasts a few times that day.
My Dw has gone through 5 heart attacks. We have discussed me outliving her many times. If I were to re-marry the primary thing I would be looking for would be a trophy.
I have no desire to raise any more children [outside of possibly a young wife].
I am honestly so puzzled by women who have gotten to around 45-50 or so who don't have some type of personal nest egg, retirement account or healthy portfolio. Yes I understand "things happen" and people have to spend money and perhaps get behind but it seems that there are a number of women out there working to find some man to support them in later years.
I'm basing this on what I see in real life as well as some online sites where women openly admit they are seeking a man "to spoil them and make them happy". Sheesh. Bringing nothing to the table is okay I guess?
Who's to say they're bringing nothing to the table?
Well I hope to not get on the wrong side of this topic, but I think that one view is that "she" is bringing nothing to the deal but her sexuality.
Most people would like more than their lover bringing nothing to the deal but their body.
I'm not so sure about that. Particularly if he's just a bit older, she may be bringing caretaking (and sooner rather than later). She may well be his only friend, many older guys start to self-isolate. She may be caring for all the little things he hates doing. She may be companionship at a time in his life when he never thought he'd have it again. She may be dealing with the house. She may be somebody his kids and grandkids love. She may make him laugh. She may make him feel wanted. She may help him care for his aging parents. She may be a shoulder to cry on.
It's either money or sex? There's nothing else? There's TONS else.
I am honestly so puzzled by women who have gotten to around 45-50 or so who don't have some type of personal nest egg, retirement account or healthy portfolio. Yes I understand "things happen" and people have to spend money and perhaps get behind but it seems that there are a number of women out there working to find some man to support them in later years.
I'm basing this on what I see in real life as well as some online sites where women openly admit they are seeking a man "to spoil them and make them happy". Sheesh. Bringing nothing to the table is okay I guess?
Amen! I see this too, with both women and men. Truth? I had a man ride my financial coattails when I was younger, and I wised up and dumped him. He had plenty of potential and a bright enough guy, but was lazy, lazy, lazy. No thank you and NEVER again. If he can't, as you say "bring something to the table, he's got to move to another table. I avoid those type of men like the plague. Were I a man, I would absolutely expect a woman to be able to afford herself and her own lifestyle, too. The idea some people have that a partner will want to take care them financially, with no like-and-kind in return, absolutely stuns me. What's fair about that? How utterly disrespectful. Now, if two people choose to decide one stays home and other one goes outside of the home to work, I support that as that arrangement works for them.
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Some people don't have the benefit of parents who taught good personal finance, or even the benefit of parents who understood or cared about personal finance. And then there is gender discrimination on the job and possibly teaching women lower aspirations in their careers. Then take out some years if they had children, and women are often at a financial disadvantage with respect to men.
It's legal in Nevada except for Clark County. 
