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Perhaps what the woman brings to the table is that she'll take care of you in your old age.
Women typically have longer life spans that men do.
A person who is elderly and lives alone, with no significant other to care for them, is in deep trouble. Especially as they get older and their health declines.
The fact remains that I have enough money for maybe 1-1/4 people and if the woman doesn't bring at least 3/4 with her (to make up total 2 people), then I can't afford to be with her.
Note that I'm bringing almost twice the assets to the deal, compared to what the woman is bringing.
How is me bringing two dollars to her each dollar not fair?
And again, I can't afford a full ride for two people. I don't have the money. She has to at least bring enough to make up what I don't have.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla
I know a couple of broke women in their late 40s, early 50s and I can't imagine it has helped their dating life much. They can't even pay for lunch outings and one of their friends always has to pick up their tab, even if it's only $5.00. But to be honest, anyone by that age should have their act together. Men too. I don't think a woman is a gold digger if she won't date a 40+ man who is broke.
So then you agree with me that a woman should bring at least something to the partnership?
If a woman won't date a man 40+ who is broke, why should a man data a woman who is under 40 and broke?
Last edited by Lovehound; 07-25-2018 at 05:02 PM..
of course , wouldn't worry me at all l might even prefer it.
Simpler or lower educated or whatever your calling it women, often have more smarts and common sense and understanding , warmth, personality, in one hand than the others.
And they often make much better gf's or wives too because of all that.
Most of the smartest women l've ever met have been like that.
Talkin real smarts , not some educated so called smarts.
I can take care of myself, but I want a guy who's going to genuinely want to take care of me, so I can tell him that's sweet and I appreciate it, but you don't have to, and still be with him. And I want him to offer consistently too.
The fact remains that I have enough money for maybe 1-1/4 people and if the woman doesn't bring at least 3/4 with her (to make up total 2 people), then I can't afford to be with her.
Note that I'm bringing almost twice the assets to the deal, compared to what the woman is bringing.
How is me bringing two dollars to her each dollar not fair?
And again, I can't afford a full ride for two people. I don't have the money. She has to at least bring enough to make up what I don't have.
So then you agree with me that a woman should bring at least something to the partnership?
If a woman won't date a man 40+ who is broke, why should a man data a woman who is under 40 and broke?
I was talking to a woman, in her 40s that works as a STOCK person at a Target. She's a single mother, father is not in the picture. She told me she's looking for a man to support BOTH her daughter and herself while she cuts her own hours at Target to spend more time with her daughter...which is something she can't do much now...as a PART TIMER.
I was like, "You mean to tell me you expect a man to 100% support the daughter of a man that's not providing child support?" She was in agreement to that.
A woman flipping burgers at 40 as a permanent job does this because she has no other choices. Which means she hasn't given much thought to independence during the peak years of her life. Which means she was either dependent on someone all this time or had zero ambition or interest in improving her life. Which means I am to be the person to elevate her financially. So I would probably pass. But if she had a meaningful job that she loved, I'd be OK with her not making a whole lot of money - as long as she is passionate about it.
This point of view is projecting your life circumstances on someone else. Most economically successful people have the good fortune to be born to parents who impart a good education ethic and work ethic along with the decision making framework to make good life choices. That isn’t the hand many people are dealt. If you had all those advantages and you have a low paying service sector job at 40, then yeah. Your poor life choices put you there. If you’re from a broken home with lousy parenting, lousy peer group, and failed schools, your odds of climbing out of generational poverty are really low. I was very libertarian in my younger years. I had all the advantages. Everyone where I lived had all the advantages. Everyone in college with me had all the advantages. My co-workers in my high paying tech job had all the advantages.
The formula for economic success in the US is to get your education, establish your career, meet someone similar, get married, stay married. Two strong incomes means you’re accumulating wealth. Two maxed out 401(k)s. The paid for upper middle class home. You can easily survive all the “life happens” bumps in the road. If you’re single or divorced at age 40, the rules didn’t change. You’ll still fare far better marrying or remarrying your socioeconomic equal. Unless you’re extremely high income or inherited a big pile, 40 and marrying a hot 25 year old uneducated burger flipper or a well preserved 40 year old burger flipper is likely to cause some economic struggles when you approach retirement age.
This point of view is projecting your life circumstances on someone else. Most economically successful people have the good fortune to be born to parents who impart a good education ethic and work ethic along with the decision making framework to make good life choices. That isn’t the hand many people are dealt. If you had all those advantages and you have a low paying service sector job at 40, then yeah. Your poor life choices put you there. If you’re from a broken home with lousy parenting, lousy peer group, and failed schools, your odds of climbing out of generational poverty are really low. I was very libertarian in my younger years. I had all the advantages. Everyone where I lived had all the advantages. Everyone in college with me had all the advantages. My co-workers in my high paying tech job had all the advantages.
The formula for economic success in the US is to get your education, establish your career, meet someone similar, get married, stay married. Two strong incomes means you’re accumulating wealth. Two maxed out 401(k)s. The paid for upper middle class home. You can easily survive all the “life happens” bumps in the road. If you’re single or divorced at age 40, the rules didn’t change. You’ll still fare far better marrying or remarrying your socioeconomic equal. Unless you’re extremely high income or inherited a big pile, 40 and marrying a hot 25 year old uneducated burger flipper or a well preserved 40 year old burger flipper is likely to cause some economic struggles when you approach retirement age.
Also, it's who you know that gets into into decent jobs. I know some people that stick to hiring their best friends and relatives to their current positions. Or just good timing.
I was talking to a woman, in her 40s that works as a STOCK person at a Target. She's a single mother, father is not in the picture. She told me she's looking for a man to support BOTH her daughter and herself while she cuts her own hours at Target to spend more time with her daughter...which is something she can't do much now...as a PART TIMER.
I was like, "You mean to tell me you expect a man to 100% support the daughter of a man that's not providing child support?" She was in agreement to that.
Launch!
I think this thread should have started with a better scenario of 40+ person working FT at a retail job(or other low paying job) than a burger flipper. And it would have made it more interesting if the said unambitious 40+ is broke from bad investments, a long term illness now recovered, taking care of ill parents, messy divorce, etc etc to make it more realistic as opposed to a 40+ burger flipper.
I was talking to a woman, in her 40s that works as a STOCK person at a Target. She's a single mother, father is not in the picture. She told me she's looking for a man to support BOTH her daughter and herself while she cuts her own hours at Target to spend more time with her daughter...which is something she can't do much now...as a PART TIMER.
I was like, "You mean to tell me you expect a man to 100% support the daughter of a man that's not providing child support?" She was in agreement to that.
Launch!
Launch? LOL!
I'm past an age where dating women with live-in children would be reasonable (although a few have live-in adult children, not a problem). So I wouldn't be dating any woman with a child who isn't an adult.
However I'm pretty sure if I had about twice the net worth that I wouldn't mind supporting us both. I'd still expect her to pay for her personal stuff like clothing and make-up.
My finances are slowly improving (I'm an investor) but I'll never have enough money to support two people completely unless I were willing to give up the possibility of international vacations, which I am not.
The fact remains that I have enough money for maybe 1-1/4 people and if the woman doesn't bring at least 3/4 with her (to make up total 2 people), then I can't afford to be with her.
Note that I'm bringing almost twice the assets to the deal, compared to what the woman is bringing.
How is me bringing two dollars to her each dollar not fair?
And again, I can't afford a full ride for two people. I don't have the money. She has to at least bring enough to make up what I don't have.
So then you agree with me that a woman should bring at least something to the partnership?
If a woman won't date a man 40+ who is broke, why should a man data a woman who is under 40 and broke?
I agree with this general idea. I agree with it for all adults.
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