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1. She's not the aggressive one or the pursuer. He is.
2. She's not seeking sex from him and is being clear that it isn't a date.
3. She isn't turned on by an the age difference. In fact she's avoiding any romantic association.
So...cougar how, exactly? Huh? She doesn't even want him. She has expressed so little (none, actually) romantic, much less sexual interest that he was down to trying to work his way into her apartment on some dumb pretext and plying her with alcohol as a last-ditch effort.
This describes a cougar situation? A woman who happens to be older, trying hard not to get raped by an incel?
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
Well, except that according to the OP:
1. She's not the aggressive one or the pursuer. He is.
2. She's not seeking sex from him and is being clear that it isn't a date.
3. She isn't turned on by an the age difference. In fact she's avoiding any romantic association.
So...cougar how, exactly? Huh? She doesn't even want him. She has expressed so little (none, actually) romantic, much less sexual interest that he was down to trying to work his way into her apartment on some dumb pretext and plying her with alcohol as a last-ditch effort.
This describes a cougar situation? A woman who happens to be older, trying hard not to get raped by an incel?
This sounds more like a hunter/poacher (OP) trying to kill an elephant or a rhino (woman in a vulnerable state) just to get ivory and leave the carcass of a beautiful creature behind with no remorse.
This describes a cougar situation? A woman who happens to be older, trying hard not to get raped by an incel?
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
This sounds more like a hunter/poacher (OP) trying to kill an elephant or a rhino (woman in a vulnerable state) just to get ivory and leave the carcass of a beautiful creature behind with no remorse.
I think I like both of these descriptions equally.
The whole "cougar" thing is so weird to me because it assumes the woman must have been preying on innocent young things and can even apply to when the guy is 30+ and hardly a babe in the woods and unsuspecting "prey." Throw in the fact that I've literally heard of women four or five years "older" than men - with both at least in their late 30s, or older than that, they could have gone to the same friggin' high school, for God's sake - "cougars" as if Grandma is trolling around the local middle school in a broken-down ice cream truck looking for dates or something, and count me confused.
Plus, I can count on one hand the women I've known in my entire lifetime who have actively sought a young man situation specifically for that reason, but you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a 40something woman who's had 20something guys lathering all over her. It's far from rare that a much younger guy tries to jump an older woman, often thinking she'll be grateful or an amazing ride because she "knows her own body and doesn't play games" (read: she'll do anything out of desperation for attention, plus you don't even have to buy her a coffee).
So...older women preying, then sinking their claws in? Yeah, okay.
To me the whole "cougar" construct is a way to shame women to death by digging in OLDer, OLDer, OLDer constantly, to keep that in the forefront, because how dare women keep feeling sexy even after they're no longer 28. I hear guys on here quite a bit saying that when women are young they're wanted, then when they get oooooooooold nobody wants them and ha-ha, the tables are turned, in yo face, old lady! - and I think such people get PIZZED that actually, once we pass 30something, we're still sexy...that's unheard of...hence the jabs and shames.
But it's sort of done neg-style, pretending it's a compliment ("Oh, Terry Hatcher, what a SEXY cougar, rawr!") - again, to put in that shame and embarrassment but not look like the bad guy. It's like Negging 101, but not very subtly done.
The whole "cougar" thing is so weird to me because it assumes the woman must have been preying on innocent young things and can even apply to when the guy is 30+ and hardly a babe in the woods and unsuspecting "prey." Throw in the fact that I've literally heard of women four or five years "older" than men - with both at least in their late 30s, or older than that, they could have gone to the same friggin' high school, for God's sake - "cougars" as if Grandma is trolling around the local middle school in a broken-down ice cream truck looking for dates or something, and count me confused.
Plus, I can count on one hand the women I've known in my entire lifetime who have actively sought a young man situation specifically for that reason, but you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a 40something woman who's had 20something guys lathering all over her. It's far from rare that a much younger guy tries to jump an older woman, often thinking she'll be grateful or an amazing ride because she "knows her own body and doesn't play games" (read: she'll do anything out of desperation for attention, plus you don't even have to buy her a coffee).
So...older women preying, then sinking their claws in? Yeah, okay.
To me the whole "cougar" construct is a way to shame women to death by digging in OLDer, OLDer, OLDer constantly, to keep that in the forefront, because how dare women keep feeling sexy even after they're no longer 28. I hear guys on here quite a bit saying that when women are young they're wanted, then when they get oooooooooold nobody wants them and ha-ha, the tables are turned, in yo face, old lady! - and I think such people get PIZZED that actually, once we pass 30something, we're still sexy...that's unheard of...hence the jabs and shames.
But it's sort of done neg-style, pretending it's a compliment ("Oh, Terry Hatcher, what a SEXY cougar, rawr!") - again, to put in that shame and embarrassment but not look like the bad guy. It's like Negging 101, but not very subtly done.
Sad.
Yep, this is a good summary for guys who don't really get it. Cougar is far from a compliment. It's actually a shudder-inducer.
The whole "cougar" thing is so weird to me because it assumes the woman must have been preying on innocent young things and can even apply to when the guy is 30+ and hardly a babe in the woods and unsuspecting "prey." Throw in the fact that I've literally heard of women four or five years "older" than men - with both at least in their late 30s, or older than that, they could have gone to the same friggin' high school, for God's sake - "cougars" as if Grandma is trolling around the local middle school in a broken-down ice cream truck looking for dates or something, and count me confused.
Plus, I can count on one hand the women I've known in my entire lifetime who have actively sought a young man situation specifically for that reason, but you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a 40something woman who's had 20something guys lathering all over her. It's far from rare that a much younger guy tries to jump an older woman, often thinking she'll be grateful or an amazing ride because she "knows her own body and doesn't play games" (read: she'll do anything out of desperation for attention, plus you don't even have to buy her a coffee).
So...older women preying, then sinking their claws in? Yeah, okay.
To me the whole "cougar" construct is a way to shame women to death by digging in OLDer, OLDer, OLDer constantly, to keep that in the forefront, because how dare women keep feeling sexy even after they're no longer 28. I hear guys on here quite a bit saying that when women are young they're wanted, then when they get oooooooooold nobody wants them and ha-ha, the tables are turned, in yo face, old lady! - and I think such people get PIZZED that actually, once we pass 30something, we're still sexy...that's unheard of...hence the jabs and shames.
But it's sort of done neg-style, pretending it's a compliment ("Oh, Terry Hatcher, what a SEXY cougar, rawr!") - again, to put in that shame and embarrassment but not look like the bad guy. It's like Negging 101, but not very subtly done.
Sad.
I did a google search about cougars and didn't know they're was a feline scale, lmao smh
Yep, this is a good summary for guys who don't really get it. Cougar is far from a compliment. It's actually a shudder-inducer.
Yup.
I can just imagine what would happen to men's egos if any guy five or six or more years "older" than his date was laughed at "encouragingly" with some name that constantly drove home how he was so old, but ha ha, look at that, unexpected fire in the furnace...from somebody so damned old.
AND you're hot! No, really. I'm not just strokin' ya. Hot, for your age, even though most guys as old as you just aren't attractive at all, I mean, as a general rule. In fact it's SO shocking that we're gonna make a whole new name for it!
You go boy, at your age, still dating? Rawr!
Oh God, the world would implode in a convulsion and cave in on itself.
Yep, this is a good summary for guys who don't really get it. Cougar is far from a compliment. It's actually a shudder-inducer.
I know the cougar thing was just a thoughtless comment tossed in here, but the question about, "Ew! Dude why would you get with a 45-yr-old ..." just reveals the lack of experience of the person who said it.
That someone would toss in an insult after that fact is not at all surprising.
I know the cougar thing was just a thoughtless comment tossed in here, but the question about, "Ew! Dude why would you get with a 45-yr-old ..." just reveals the lack of experience of the person who said it.
That someone would toss in an insult after that fact is not at all surprising.
That part doesn't surprise me as much. At that age you really DON'T know and frankly, as a 20something woman I would have said "eew" to a 45-year-old guy, too. I get that.
I'm not so worried about the natural "eew" factor to potentially doing it with someone your mother's or father's age, but this "cougar" thing is more of a deliberate "eew" (or at least, shock and awe...SHE'S sexy? At all? At her age????) implant in general for any woman over 40 even if she isn't significantly older than her date. That's what I find bizarre, and incredibly annoying. That assumes an "eew" for pretty much any woman over 40-ish, even if the guy is within a stones-throw age reach of her.
It's just a way of saying this entire age category is disgusting, full stop. THAT is ignorant. And on the one hand, so what, I guess...as I said, I'm 100% fine with a 20something guy being turned off at the thought of having sex with me, it's pretty mutual, it just wouldn't work (for me, I know this isn't everybody). But when a guy gets to be close to my age and is calling me a cougar because I'm a few years older, well, that's when you've gotta realize how socially acceptable it is to snark at women for daring to be sexual past "a certain age."
...when they get oooooooooold nobody wants them and ha-ha, the tables are turned, in yo face, old lady!
HaHaHa! That was an amazing bit of literary genius! Thanks for describing that phenomena so accurately
The tables are never turned though, once a douche, always a douche, and if one grows old gracefully, they just learn to appreciate the attention they've been embarrassed about earlier.
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