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OP, re-read that paragraph. As many times as you need to, for the gist of it to sink in.
"He's charming and we have so much in common that we can talk for hours, and he's SO-O-O good-looking! But I found out he's an axe murderer, and has a couple of warrants out for his arrest, because HE'S A PSYCHO!"
Sociopaths, and even garden-variety narcissists, tend to be very charming at first. But they'll make you miserable by eroding your self-confidence, making you doubt your own judgment, and manipulating you into revolving around them. Eventually, they'll become emotionally abusive.
Some variation of that will be your future, if you stay with this guy.
Capiche?
Si si, capisco
Ruth4Truth, have to admit I laughed a bit when I read your comment...thank you. yes he is a PSYCHO and he is doing such a good job to hide this fact from everyone...and I will be a psycho too if I stick with him.
and...HOW COME YOU KNOW! I did not spend toooo much time on being with him but I had already felt miserable/lost my confidence/change my own judgements on certain issues/felt being controlled by him
(I even had to explain to him why I wanted to wash my hands when I was in his place)!
he told me that most of his relationships last no more than 1 or 2 years because he has such a harsh personality.
Last edited by lostlincoln; 11-04-2018 at 04:23 AM..
You can do better than that, keep telling yourself that. A lot of red flags in your post. He sounds like a douche bag. Don't ask him for your stuff. Take control and get it back. Tell him your coming over to get your stuff, bring a trusted friend with you to be safe.
when I was with him, he had the control over everything. I was always very careful and afraid that he would get mad or something...not that he got angry that easily but when he lost his patience, he looked scary.
It's funny that many of our CD-R topics get contentious at times, but now and then a topic like this one comes up and everybody agrees. I'm pretty sure this is one of those topics.
This is just plain black and white. The OP should find somebody else.
/topic
I would stop seeing guys for a while I think, I don't really trust my own judgment fo men right now...how could I be fooled by him(and still am)
Definitely getting a sociopath vibe about him. You did a good job describing this man. He is bad news.
Many of us have been in your position. Think of it like having a cold that you have to get through, but that you WILL get through. Think some disgusting phrase when you think of him: "ugh, what a little creep", something like that. And keep thinking it when you start to think of him. It may take a couple of months, but you will get over this person, who is in fact not a good human being and not worth your time. Fraulein, you're so much better a person than this man. I can tell from the way you think. You DO deserve so much better. He's a bit of pigeon poop on the edge of your shoe. Remember that.
Thank you Hallouise, your suggestion is very good...yes, this is a bad cold. I just feel frustrated that I have spent so much time on him...I thought I was smarter than that. Now I will just picture him as an annoying bad guy with irritating habits...he is such a playboy. he is hypercritical. he doesnt change his bed sheet. he got tons of rules when it comes to wash hands or use soemthing in his place. One day I found that he did not take a shower and straight went to bed too. and...I love what you said. yeah, he is just a pigeon poop!
Players are the ones that will tell you what you want to here.
They act till they get what they want then the Prince Charming outfit falls off and you are like, “What?!?”
Yes, he always told me, "idk why but I can talk so much when I am with you. I am so curious about you. You are very cute. you're so special. I never told anyone about xxxx but I can just tell you without hesitation"...etc
You're right. You hopefully won't meet someone like this in the future. You'll meet someone better.
As good as he looked "on paper," it's an illusion. He's not who he appears to be to the outside world. He's a control freak and not kind. He sounds like a bit of a narcissist. He also apparently is willing to cheat in a relationship.
Consider yourself lucky that you realized what kind of person he is after ONLY a few months.
when I was with him, he had the control over everything. I was always very careful and afraid that he would get mad or something...not that he got angry that easily but when he lost his patience, he looked scary.
I will contact him later this month.
No. Do NOT contact him. He sounds like my Ex and I still have nightmares about him when I'm stressed even though we divorced 21 years ago and he died 8 years ago (of alcohol abuse). If you're turning someone's inability to control his temper into YOUR problem (it's called "walking on eggshells" so you don't trigger his anger) that's a huge red flag.
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I would stop seeing guys for a while I think, I don't really trust my own judgment fo men right now...how could I be fooled by him(and still am)
