Living in someone else’s home and not feeling like it is your home.

[Droover]

Been on both sides of this interesting dynamic.
I've moved previous GF into my house (while she was between apartments) and had her stuff stacked to the basment ceiling. I felt beseiged and was relieved when she eventually moved out.

Most recent GF was total opposite... she did very well in her divorce and had a million dollar home where we both lived 6 days out of 7. She didn't like the idea of combining our belongings and I recall we used to joke about me moving in with just a toothbrush.
Anyways I never sold my home (10 minutes away) as I have children who visit from out of town
But really I also had been divorced and could not put myself in the position to be made homeless on the whim of another....
...sure enough after 7 years she pulled the plug...
...was I the author of our demise ?
I Suppose so but at least I'm not homeless !!!

[LowonLuck]

Originally Posted by Droover

Been on both sides of this interesting dynamic.
I've moved previous GF into my house (while she was between apartments) and had her stuff stacked to the basment ceiling. I felt beseiged and was relieved when she eventually moved out.

Most recent GF was total opposite... she did very well in her divorce and had a million dollar home where we both lived 6 days out of 7. She didn't like the idea of combining our belongings and I recall we used to joke about me moving in with just a toothbrush.
Anyways I never sold my home (10 minutes away) as I have children who visit from out of town
But really I also had been divorced and could not put myself in the position to be made homeless on the whim of another....
...sure enough after 7 years she pulled the plug...
...was I the author of our demise ?
I Suppose so but at least I'm not homeless !!!

I get all of this. I wouldn’t move into someone else’s house because I don’t want to be homeless. I just don’t know how to build together but still protect what you have. It’s like you can’t have it both ways.

[Droover]

One moving in with the other rarely works IMO because the situational dynamic is one-sided from the start. To make it work long term, the obvious solution is to each leave behind (sell) your current homes and get a place together. Easier said than done I'm afraid.

You could always open a dialog along these lines and get a feel for how things really are. Right now it seems that you are in a standoff.
Good luck