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Bad move. You should take him out of the trust, like immediately.
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What is wrong with me specifically that I only attract damaged men? Maybe I can just google it and resolve it my self.
Remember when you met 60 men off OLD in a short period of time?
You know what's wrong? You are desperate to be married, and desperate people make poor decisions.
You broke up with the guy on your couch? Well, that's good, because if I recall he was seeing another woman, and you knew about it the whole time. It didn't even sound like he was WITH you at all.
It is WAY past time for you to put your children first and stop this damaging parade of men through your house.
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I have gone to three different therapists. Not including my children’s therapists over the years that we have done family sessions. So yes been there and done that.
But hon, you keep picking these guys who you say are deeply flawed. Why is that? A good therapist can help you figure it out.
Well as long as you are fine with having to move if something happens to him.
Personally I would not feel great about that.
Yes, I am fine with it. Even if I didn't have to move, I would most likely choose to move to Colorado (from California) to live near my daughter. (He and I may do that at some point anyway.)
I am in the process of selling my house right now (under contract, but escrow has not yet closed). I am looking forward to no longer owning much tangible property. I don't know that I will ever buy another house. I am thinking more along the lines of a 5th wheel and a full-sized truck.
For me, "home" is much more about feeling comfortable and happy where I am than about equity in real estate.
If you decide you want to live with someone, make sure you understand the rules BEFORE moving in (or letting someone move in with you) I have a very good friend that wanted me to move in with her to save on rent costs, but I refused. She has habits that I knew would not work out well and eventually ruin our friendship........She has a heart of gold, but loves to spend money on everyone else so, therefore, doesn't think about upcoming bills; likes having things her way; eats certain foods; etc. Today, we have been best friends for over 55 years and I attribute that to making sure we didn't get into situations that could jeopardize that wonderful friendship.
As far as owning property and letting someone move in with you, it's a bad idea without some sort of written contract. People and situations change throughout relationships.
Yes, I am fine with it. Even if I didn't have to move, I would most likely choose to move to Colorado (from California) to live near my daughter. (He and I may do that at some point anyway.)
I am in the process of selling my house right now (under contract, but escrow has not yet closed). I am looking forward to no longer owning much tangible property. I don't know that I will ever buy another house. I am thinking more along the lines of a 5th wheel and a full-sized truck.
For me, "home" is much more about feeling comfortable and happy where I am than about equity in real estate.
I see. You don't mind moving, but some of us as we get older would dread that. If I love my home and feel settled, I would want to stay.
This is a common issue I have found. I use the phrase “our home” when I speak. I don’t know how to make him feel better. It has been almost 4 years.
The bolded indicates to me that this is about the people in the home perhaps and not the building that you live in so it's got nothing to do with furniture, curtains or kitchen items. You have kids right? I'd ask him point blank what he meant by that. What rules and how would they be different?
I can tell you from experience that two adults coming together with kids that do not belong to both of them is a difficult situation. Most couples that decide to have kids have hopefully talked about how they themselves were raised and what they would do the same or differently with their own kids. Obviously you have been raising your kids and running your household in a certain way without his input prior to his existence and it's probably not the way he thinks he would do it given a choice. So you ask him what he would do differently and you either consider a compromise or you tell him his input is not welcome and he decides if that's a situation he's willing to stay in. Or you decide if you are willing to have someone around that clearly isn't on the same page as your are and likes to remind you of that.
Lots of people live in a residence they don’t own but it feels like their home.
I was in a situation much like your guy. I always heard, my house this and my house that. And it was her house she was right. Her furniture, her pictures, her everything. My stuff was in storage cause she didnt like it and no room for any of it.
Like you, she was a headstrong, OCD control freak that wanted it her way. Also, like you, she wanted to go drink with her buddies and act like a single woman with no explanation necessary and never felt guilty.
However, i DID pay half of everything. I got tired of it all and left. Sooner or later he will too if you don't send him away first. His self esteem must really be low or he would already be gone.
What is wrong with me specifically that I only attract damaged men? Maybe I can just google it and resolve it my self.
Just because you attract damaged men, it doesn't mean you have to end up dating them or living with them. They probably see you as cute and desperate for a man. You come off as extremely needy online, so i am sure it is the same or worse in person. Plus, they all know you as you say.
You probably are attractive to them until they get to know the real you and the ex drama and by then, there they are all moved in and stuck, trying tp figure out how they ended up in that situation and how to get out.
If you don't get outside your circle, expand who you are willing to date, you will never find someone.
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