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Old 08-26-2019, 02:14 PM
 
32 posts, read 6,251 times
Reputation: 43

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Hello Everyone,

I already wrote about my situation before in several posts. My last post was about me breaking up with girlfriend. Long story short, she told me that she had a crush on someone. I asked her before if she liked him and she would say no, its just a friendship. She lied to me and I decided to end to relationship ( with the help with a lot of people here who gave me so much advice, especially BirdieBelle).

Anyways, she kept contacting me and telling me that she loves me and she wants to work on our relationship. She said she was going to stop talking to him. However, I kept telling her that we are over and we should both move on. I wanted to block her so I can just move on but I couldn't do it. She said that she is going to prove to me how much she loves me and all that. Anyways, a week goes by. She calls me saturday morning as I was sleeping and I answered. She told me that she cheated on me ( she thought we were still together even though we broke up). She told me that she went out with a couple of friends and the guy that she had a crush on was there. She told me that she got drunk and told him that she has a crush on him but she wants to work on her relationship with me. she told me that he kissed her and she stopped it.

I told her that they deserve each other. I hung up on her and she kept texting me. I didn't respond but then I ended the conversation by saying " If you have any decency left in you, you would stop talking to me". Well I think that got to her cause she stopped. Its only been 2 days but I actually feel great. I don't know why. I feel like i'm free again. When we broke up, I cried so much and I was so sad. However, now I don't feel sad. I'm actually excited for my future. I keep thinking about my goals and my plans. The thought of them kissing comes back to me when I see something that reminds me of it but it doesn't make me angry or sad.

Am I being delusional? Or is this normal?
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Old 08-26-2019, 02:20 PM
 
Location: Colorado
12,299 posts, read 7,512,350 times
Reputation: 22081
The only frame of reference I have to this, is my son and his ex girlfriend. Eventually after the sadness and crying, and him holding fast to his decision to no longer be with her, he felt a lot of relief and a new focus on his life. But she was very emotionally manipulative, constantly jerking him around, one minute she'd make him feel loved and adored, the next she'd insult him or go running around getting high with other dudes, she would deliberately poke and prod at any insecurity to try and get a reaction out of him. So after he got some emotional distance from her, he realized that she was no good for him, and he felt free of her crazy behaviors.

I don't know if your former gf was emotionally abusive to you like that, but I think sometimes when we get free, really free, of someone who wasn't good for us...it's natural to feel better. Because the space around you really IS better, without their bad vibes cluttering it up.
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Old 08-26-2019, 02:23 PM
 
23 posts, read 1,761 times
Reputation: 29
Of course you feel great! You're wondering why? Really?! Do you think you deserved her crappy behavior? Are you used to be treated badly?
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Old 08-26-2019, 02:26 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
15,049 posts, read 12,475,993 times
Reputation: 26779
Only time will tell. Emotions are all over the place during a breakup and it takes time to digest everything. Ive felt relieved and angry at the same time in past breakups. You might be going through a similar phase, but everyone handles breakups differently.
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Old 08-26-2019, 02:27 PM
 
32 posts, read 6,251 times
Reputation: 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
The only frame of reference I have to this, is my son and his ex girlfriend. Eventually after the sadness and crying, and him holding fast to his decision to no longer be with her, he felt a lot of relief and a new focus on his life. But she was very emotionally manipulative, constantly jerking him around, one minute she'd make him feel loved and adored, the next she'd insult him or go running around getting high with other dudes, she would deliberately poke and prod at any insecurity to try and get a reaction out of him. So after he got some emotional distance from her, he realized that she was no good for him, and he felt free of her crazy behaviors.

I don't know if your former gf was emotionally abusive to you like that, but I think sometimes when we get free, really free, of someone who wasn't good for us...it's natural to feel better. Because the space around you really IS better, without their bad vibes cluttering it up.
Yes, you bring up a good point. She was emotionally abusive and made me feel amazing somedays and others she would make me feel like I'm not good enough for her. Well, I hope I continue to feel like this and focus on myself. And even if I feel down, I will remind myself that I deserve better. Thanks for sharing!
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Old 08-26-2019, 02:33 PM
 
Location: Toronto
391 posts, read 85,862 times
Reputation: 354
Amazing job! Using I Love You is manipulative. Looks like she got the point and is looking for another *******.
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Old 08-26-2019, 02:33 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
44,069 posts, read 42,635,560 times
Reputation: 85222
Glad you had a breakthrough

No, there's nothing wrong with you. I think you just feel happy to know that you AREN'T crazy after all, since she spent all those months taking advantage of you and lying to you.

Enjoy it, and do yourself a favor and BLOCK HER this time. Just trust me.

Onward and upward!
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Old 08-26-2019, 04:37 PM
 
32 posts, read 6,251 times
Reputation: 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Glad you had a breakthrough

No, there's nothing wrong with you. I think you just feel happy to know that you AREN'T crazy after all, since she spent all those months taking advantage of you and lying to you.

Enjoy it, and do yourself a favor and BLOCK HER this time. Just trust me.

Onward and upward!
Already blocked her number and removed her from all social media so there is no way to contact me.
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Old 08-26-2019, 05:09 PM
 
Location: Fairfax, VA
868 posts, read 712,260 times
Reputation: 1029
You don't feel good because of her not-really cheating. You feel good because you rebuffed her. Your future thoughts about your goals etc. is a perfectly normal reaction.


Quote:
Originally Posted by leboss12345 View Post
Hello Everyone,

I already wrote about my situation before in several posts. My last post was about me breaking up with girlfriend. Long story short, she told me that she had a crush on someone. I asked her before if she liked him and she would say no, its just a friendship. She lied to me and I decided to end to relationship ( with the help with a lot of people here who gave me so much advice, especially BirdieBelle).

Anyways, she kept contacting me and telling me that she loves me and she wants to work on our relationship. She said she was going to stop talking to him. However, I kept telling her that we are over and we should both move on. I wanted to block her so I can just move on but I couldn't do it. She said that she is going to prove to me how much she loves me and all that. Anyways, a week goes by. She calls me saturday morning as I was sleeping and I answered. She told me that she cheated on me ( she thought we were still together even though we broke up). She told me that she went out with a couple of friends and the guy that she had a crush on was there. She told me that she got drunk and told him that she has a crush on him but she wants to work on her relationship with me. she told me that he kissed her and she stopped it.

I told her that they deserve each other. I hung up on her and she kept texting me. I didn't respond but then I ended the conversation by saying " If you have any decency left in you, you would stop talking to me". Well I think that got to her cause she stopped. Its only been 2 days but I actually feel great. I don't know why. I feel like i'm free again. When we broke up, I cried so much and I was so sad. However, now I don't feel sad. I'm actually excited for my future. I keep thinking about my goals and my plans. The thought of them kissing comes back to me when I see something that reminds me of it but it doesn't make me angry or sad.

Am I being delusional? Or is this normal?
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Old 08-26-2019, 05:54 PM
 
Location: Northern Wisconsin
9,034 posts, read 7,850,680 times
Reputation: 15617
You're normal. Move on with a smile.
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