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My advice to you would be to end this relationship like now. It seems your boyfriend is not physically attracted to you. Ask him why is he with you if all he does is bring you down? Though (as you mentioned) this does not make you insecure but as someone mentioned later on down the road will take its toll.
No one wants to be put down by someone who is supposed to be there for them.
My advice to you would be to end this relationship like now. It seems your boyfriend is not physically attracted to you. Ask him why is he with you if all he does is bring you down? Though (as you mentioned) this does not make you insecure but as someone mentioned later on down the road will take its toll.
No one wants to be put down by someone who is supposed to be there for them.
Good luck!
I'v asked, and he just keeps saying that he is attracted to me. Sometimes I feel that he is maybe feeling that even I'm not good looking enough in his eyes, but I'm 18 years younger than he is, and that makes me "best he can get" for him
Last edited by Helgarakas; 06-21-2022 at 03:10 PM..
Reason: Typos
Snort! Why exactly is this guy your boyfriend? You haven't made him sound like a prize. You haven't made him seem special in any way. Do you feel you can't do better so you'll just put up with a
half-azzed bf?
I'v asked, and he just keeps saying that he is attracted to me. Sometimes I feel that he is maybe feeling that even I'm not good looking enough in his eyes, but I'm 18 years younger than he is, and that makes me "best he can get" for him
That makes you the "best he can get" for what, to breakdown & control?
If you stay, that's the best {treatment} you'll end up with.
My ex husband made comments like that. After our baby was born I started working out and going for walks, I only lost about 30 lbs, but it was a big difference. He never gave me any support or compliments, just asked: “What do you think is going to happen? You’re going to be a supermodel?”
It was at a time he was really insecure and involved in some things that were going to end out marriage. I assume he didn’t want me to think I looked too good, or get any “ideas” that other men would find me attractive. Abusive men sometimes play the: “who else wants you, you’re lucky you’re with me.” Kind of game.
I feel like my boyfriend has some need to put me down.
If I tell him that some guy smiled me at the street, he asks "Really, even you are looking like that?"
When we were watching some nonsense videoclip where people were ranking each others by looks, he said that he would rank me as 6.
When I showed pictures with my friends kid, he said "Is that really you? Really nice picture. I couldn't regonice you from that". Then he started to talk about how he didin't regonice me from my* Facebook profile picture either, and that's really nice photo of me, usualy profile pictures are. I don't use photoshop or filters.
When I'v been talking about how insulting these kind of comments are, he just can't see it. My self-esteem is not going to be damaged from he's words but I think that that kind of behavior is to damaging our relationship. I woul like to feel loved and respected, but this feels just bad and unrespectful.
Any opinions? All these comments have been said within a month, and none of these would be so bad if they were the only ones. He calls me beatifull when I'm wearing lots of makeup or just before he wants sex.
Why put up with this? Remember that when you're dating someone, they are always on their best behavior. And if this is his best behavior, it's going to get worse, not better.
Be with someone who treasures you enough to always be kind. Not some a-hole.
OP: He treats you as though you are filling in until someone else (not necessarily better, because I don’t think his guy is capable of “better”) comes along. And he keeps treating you that way, because you allow it to happen.
You say that he is your boyfriend. Does he call you his girlfriend? He might not even think of you in those terms. He might think of you same same way his thinks of that chair over there.
Unless there is some kind of situation, you don’t have to put up with it. And frankly, it might eventually get abusive to be the point that you HAVE to get out. Don’t wait for that time to come when you might have to grab up a couple of kids to take with you.
Sounds to me like he's jealous of your youth and is putting you down in fear you'll get "ideas" about yourself and find someone closer to your own age. You probably are "the best he can get" and this would give you the upper hand, so don't let him strip you of your self esteem (which he will do if you put up with this treatment much longer).
Just end it and wish him well.
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