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I feel like my boyfriend has some need to put me down.
If I tell him that some guy smiled me at the street, he asks "Really, even you are looking like that?"
When we were watching some nonsense videoclip where people were ranking each others by looks, he said that he would rank me as 6.
When I showed pictures with my friends kid, he said "Is that really you? Really nice picture. I couldn't regonice you from that". Then he started to talk about how he didin't regonice me from my* Facebook profile picture either, and that's really nice photo of me, usualy profile pictures are. I don't use photoshop or filters.
When I'v been talking about how insulting these kind of comments are, he just can't see it. My self-esteem is not going to be damaged from he's words but I think that that kind of behavior is to damaging our relationship. I woul like to feel loved and respected, but this feels just bad and unrespectful.
Any opinions? All these comments have been said within a month, and none of these would be so bad if they were the only ones. He calls me beatifull when I'm wearing lots of makeup or just before he wants sex.
Last edited by Helgarakas; 06-21-2022 at 11:10 AM..
Reason: Typos
I feel like my boyfriend has some need to put me down.
If I tell him that some guy smiled me at the street, he asks "Really, even you are looking like that?"
When we were watching some nonsense videoclip where people were ranking each others by looks, he said that he would rank me as 6.
When I showed pictures with my friends kid, he said "Is that really you? Really nice picture. I couldn't regonice you from that". Then he started to talk about how he didin't regonice me from my* Facebook profile picture either, and that's really nice photo of me, usualy profile pictures are. I don't use photoshop or filters.
When I'v been talking about how insulting these kind of comments are, he just can't see it. My self-esteem is not going to be damaged from he's words but I think that that kind of behavior is to damaging our relationship. I woul like to feel loved and respected, but this feels just bad and unrespectful.
Any opinions? All these comments have been said within a month, and none of these would be so bad if they were the only ones. He calls me beatifull when I'm wearing lots of makeup or just before he wants sex.
I feel like my boyfriend has some need to put me down.
If I tell him that some guy smiled me at the street, he asks "Really, even you are looking like that?"
When we were watching some nonsense videoclip where people were ranking each others by looks, he said that he would rank me as 6.
When I showed pictures with my friends kid, he said "Is that really you? Really nice picture. I couldn't regonice you from that". Then he started to talk about how he didin't regonice me from my* Facebook profile picture either, and that's really nice photo of me, usualy profile pictures are. I don't use photoshop or filters.
When I'v been talking about how insulting these kind of comments are, he just can't see it. My self-esteem is not going to be damaged from he's words but I think that that kind of behavior is to damaging our relationship. I woul like to feel loved and respected, but this feels just bad and unrespectful.
Any opinions? All these comments have been said within a month, and none of these would be so bad if they were the only ones. He calls me beatifull when I'm wearing lots of makeup or just before he wants sex.
Over a period of time, yes, your self esteem will be affected and you should get out of this relationship as soon as possible. No woman should be talked to like that and over and over at that. He is not a kind, caring person and doesn't care about your feelings. He is not worthy of your attention, let alone your heart. My advice - hold your head up high and move on. No drama, just tell him things aren't working out and that's all that needs to be said. No more contact. If you don't respect yourself, don't expect others to, that's not how it works.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Helgarakas
I feel like my boyfriend has some need to put me down.
If I tell him that some guy smiled me at the street, he asks "Really, even you are looking like that?"
When we were watching some nonsense videoclip where people were ranking each others by looks, he said that he would rank me as 6.
When I showed pictures with my friends kid, he said "Is that really you? Really nice picture. I couldn't regonice you from that". Then he started to talk about how he didin't regonice me from my* Facebook profile picture either, and that's really nice photo of me, usualy profile pictures are. I don't use photoshop or filters.
When I'v been talking about how insulting these kind of comments are, he just can't see it. My self-esteem is not going to be damaged from he's words but I think that that kind of behavior is to damaging our relationship. I woul like to feel loved and respected, but this feels just bad and unrespectful.
Any opinions? All these comments have been said within a month, and none of these would be so bad if they were the only ones. He calls me beatifull when I'm wearing lots of makeup or just before he wants sex.
My bottom line is going to be the boyfriend is a jack for talking that to his girlfriend and she should get rid of him but I want to address the bolded.
WHY would you tell him that other guys are looking at you and arousing jealousy? That just makes it look like you are receptive to other guys attention and could cheat. BAD bad move and you should not do that period.
This is bringing up memories with my ex. I was told at various times things like "your dating profile pic deceiving, it was much better than what I actually got." or "remember when we first met when you used to put effort in". And this might have been on a day when I though I had put in effort, and he might be still wearing his pajamas in the middle of the day. In my case it was also accompanied by occasional degrading remarks about my interests, or my friends, or my sense of humor.
I can tell you that yes, these really do wear down on your confidence over time, in my case over several years, and I have had to work hard to build it back up since my time with him has ended. If this is bothering you then you have to find someway to deal with it.
My bottom line is going to be the boyfriend is a jack for talking that to his girlfriend and she should get rid of him but I want to address the bolded.
WHY would you tell him that other guys are looking at you and arousing jealousy? That just makes it look like you are receptive to other guys attention and could cheat. BAD bad move and you should not do that period.
When I told him that, it was first nice summer day, and what I told him was, "that it's so nice that summer is coming, people are so happy, I even got some smiles today. " So I wasnt exacly even bragging about the smiles. And even this is not a competision who is "worst" I have to say that he flirts openly with others front of me and calls me friend to other woman. But these issues are solved and he got that it's not ok.
When I told him that, it was first nice summer day, and what I told him was, "that it's so nice that summer is coming, people are so happy, I even got some smiles today. " So I wasnt exacly even bragging about the smiles. And even this is not a competision who is "worst" I have to say that he flirts openly with others front of me and calls me friend to other woman. But these issues are solved and he got that it's not ok.
You had to tell him this was unacceptable?
This guy would be so gone.
I agree with the above, just end it now with no details, hurt feelings or drama. Tell him it's not working out, wish him well and try to have some sympathy for the next woman he latches on to.
I feel like my boyfriend has some need to put me down.
If I tell him that some guy smiled me at the street, he asks "Really, even you are looking like that?"
When we were watching some nonsense videoclip where people were ranking each others by looks, he said that he would rank me as 6.
When I showed pictures with my friends kid, he said "Is that really you? Really nice picture. I couldn't regonice you from that". Then he started to talk about how he didin't regonice me from my* Facebook profile picture either, and that's really nice photo of me, usualy profile pictures are. I don't use photoshop or filters.
When I'v been talking about how insulting these kind of comments are, he just can't see it. My self-esteem is not going to be damaged from he's words but I think that that kind of behavior is to damaging our relationship. I woul like to feel loved and respected, but this feels just bad and unrespectful.
Any opinions? All these comments have been said within a month, and none of these would be so bad if they were the only ones. He calls me beatifull when I'm wearing lots of makeup or just before he wants sex.
I dated someone who would make these kinds of comments to me . In reality he was the one who was insecure about himself. I think that goes for your situation as well. Sounds like he is projecting and no one deserves to be spoken to that way. I would have an open and honest conversation about how his words hurt you & set boundaries. If he doesnt respect the boundaries you set or understand that his words are hurtful I would personally leave him
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for talking that to his girlfriend and she should get rid of him but I want to address the bolded.
