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He's abusing and manipulating you.
He wants you to feel unattractive so that you'll "need" him. He only compliments you when he wants sex. It's very clear what's going on. Dump him, and watch for those red flags in your next relationship.
I'd leave someone quickly if they said such things to me. I spend enough energy dealing with my critical inner thoughts that I don't need someone to add to it.
It is also the type of behavior that crops up in toxic friendships as well.
Don't need that in my life.
Yeah, I'll add that life kicks you in the short hairs enough as it is, we don't need people in our lives that supposedly care about us dogpiling on.
When I told him that, it was first nice summer day, and what I told him was, "that it's so nice that summer is coming, people are so happy, I even got some smiles today. " So I wasnt exacly even bragging about the smiles. And even this is not a competision who is "worst" I have to say that he flirts openly with others front of me and calls me friend to other woman. But these issues are solved and he got that it's not ok.
Hi, Helgarakas.
You deserve a good man who loves you, cherish you, respect you, make you smile. The guy you are now with is no good for you, it sounds like. Tell him to hit the road, jerk. Good riddance.
I feel like my boyfriend has some need to put me down.
If I tell him that some guy smiled me at the street, he asks "Really, even you are looking like that?"
When we were watching some nonsense videoclip where people were ranking each others by looks, he said that he would rank me as 6.
When I showed pictures with my friends kid, he said "Is that really you? Really nice picture. I couldn't regonice you from that". Then he started to talk about how he didin't regonice me from my* Facebook profile picture either, and that's really nice photo of me, usualy profile pictures are. I don't use photoshop or filters.
When I'v been talking about how insulting these kind of comments are, he just can't see it. My self-esteem is not going to be damaged from he's words but I think that that kind of behavior is to damaging our relationship. I woul like to feel loved and respected, but this feels just bad and unrespectful.
Any opinions? All these comments have been said within a month, and none of these would be so bad if they were the only ones. He calls me beatifull when I'm wearing lots of makeup or just before he wants sex.
Yeah that’s not good. When the same happened with my former, I would beam with pride and say something like “of course they did, you’re stunning”. We couldn’t walk anywhere without men looking and it never bothered me. I’d catch them and give a wink, but it also made me a little concerned that women deal with that literally every waking moment. Some men really can be predators.
Dave Chapelle said it best in one of his skits where he described taking the New York subway with $10k in his pocket. He said he was paranoid about every guy around him, knowing that he had what they wanted, and how nervous it made him. The punch line was “… now, imagine having a pussy”
Long story short, being single is ok so why are you with this guy? Rhetorical question, nobody except you needs to know the answer to that
Hey, I'm back... Can I have opinions about situation that happened other day...
I wasn't feeling great, quite horrible actualy (hangover). I was saying to my boyfriend that I wonder how good I Look even I feel terrible. He's response was to start talking about how good my sister looked another day... And now, couple days later I Said that I think that is just again him trying to push me down, and I'm done with that. And now he is just asking why he can't say that my sister looks good and how he adors me... He is refusing to get my point, and my point is that that is not cool way to response when I'm saying nice things about myself...And he says that only proplem is that I got upset because he didn't react the way I wanted.... This all feels so bad and manipulative. He is just going on about the context, that i'm taking things out of context... I don't know how to respond to him.... I don't understand what he means, because that was The hole conversation....He refuses to understand that ofcourse it feels like he is compering me to my sister. He says that he is not, because he wasn't saying that my sister looks better....
Last edited by Helgarakas; 09-27-2022 at 09:30 AM..
Reason: Typos
Are you trying to manipulate him a little bit? Like...why are you saying "I wonder how good I look, even I feel terrible." It sounds like you're trying to force him into giving you a compliment. I guess that's a pretty minor thing...but knowing your boyfriend is the way he is...it's kind of like you're setting yourself up to be knocked down.
Believe or not, they are helping a lot... When I talk with him, he makes me feel so wrong and crazy and that he's behavior is normal. We have good things in our relationship also, ofcourse, and breaking up is not easy... I need outsider opinions on these situations, because he makes me feel that these things are really ok to say...
Are you trying to manipulate him a little bit? Like...why are you saying "I wonder how good I look, even I feel terrible." It sounds like you're trying to force him into giving you a compliment. I guess that's a pretty minor thing...but knowing your boyfriend is the way he is...it's kind of like you're setting yourself up to be knocked down.
I'm not trying anything. Even it might sound weird because I'm willing to be with this kind of person, I don't suffer from low self-esteem. That was sincere wonder of mine, and if I feel good about myself, I don't have a problem to say it outloud..
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