Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I feel like my boyfriend has some need to put me down.
If I tell him that some guy smiled me at the street, he asks "Really, even you are looking like that?"
When we were watching some nonsense videoclip where people were ranking each others by looks, he said that he would rank me as 6.
When I showed pictures with my friends kid, he said "Is that really you? Really nice picture. I couldn't regonice you from that". Then he started to talk about how he didin't regonice me from my* Facebook profile picture either, and that's really nice photo of me, usualy profile pictures are. I don't use photoshop or filters.
When I'v been talking about how insulting these kind of comments are, he just can't see it. My self-esteem is not going to be damaged from he's words but I think that that kind of behavior is to damaging our relationship. I woul like to feel loved and respected, but this feels just bad and unrespectful.
Any opinions? All these comments have been said within a month, and none of these would be so bad if they were the only ones. He calls me beatifull when I'm wearing lots of makeup or just before he wants sex.
Sounds like a jerk. Your best bet is to dump him and then do some self-examination to understand why you allow him to speak to you like that.
I know what I'm talking about. My own husband once handed me a small can of wood putty and said, "Hey, maybe you should use that on your face (meaning for my acne scars). I was hurt, but I called a dermatologist the next day to speak about dermabrasion. The dermatologist said my scars were not bad enough to warrant it and to just find good makeup if it bothered me.
My husband then said, "Gee, it was a joke, I feel bad now that you went to the dermatologist over it..." but the fact remains that he had no problem saying hurtful things like that to me. (We divorced over worse issues.)
I also had a "best friend" who said things like "You made such a beautiful bride! I could hardly believe it was you!" and "Oh, I didn't recognize you, you look so nice." I eventually cut her off because I got some self-esteem and realized I didn't have to put up with that crap.
That's what you need to do. Realize you don't have to put up with that crap.
Your boyfriend needing to put you down is a problem he has that you can't fix. Letting him get away with it is a problem YOU have that you CAN fix by walking away from someone who treats you like that.
Sounds like a jerk. Your best bet is to dump him and then do some self-examination to understand why you allow him to speak to you like that.
I know what I'm talking about. My own husband once handed me a small can of wood putty and said, "Hey, maybe you should use that on your face (meaning for my acne scars). I was hurt, but I called a dermatologist the next day to speak about dermabrasion. The dermatologist said my scars were not bad enough to warrant it and to just find good makeup if it bothered me.
My husband then said, "Gee, it was a joke, I feel bad now that you went to the dermatologist over it..." but the fact remains that he had no problem saying hurtful things like that to me. (We divorced over worse issues.)
I also had a "best friend" who said things like "You made such a beautiful bride! I could hardly believe it was you!" and "Oh, I didn't recognize you, you look so nice." I eventually cut her off because I got some self-esteem and realized I didn't have to put up with that crap.
That's what you need to do. Realize you don't have to put up with that crap.
Your boyfriend needing to put you down is a problem he has that you can't fix. Letting him get away with it is a problem YOU have that you CAN fix by walking away from someone who treats you like that.
The OP recently updated us to say her bf is history.
I came late to this thread, but I would have been saying. How long have you stayed w/ this stupid loser because that's definitely NOT how a man who loves his lady should behave. I've said it before & I'll say it again, I'll very, very, very gladly stay alone if these are the only men there are in the world. I'll be a hell of a LOT happier, who needs these ____ if they're going to be like that.
Please, please in the future, don't move in w/ someone so fast. You probably stayed in it a lot longer than you should have because he lived w/ you & you were wondering how to get him out, etc. If you had your own places still, you could have dropped him just like that & never contactecd him again just like that in a matter of seconds literally, so please...DON'T move in together fast, don't have sex w/ him too soon, etc. Really know the person.
If it were up to me, no one would move in w/ each other any sooner than a YEAR of dating at the soonest. & I wish I could say that for having sex too, but it seems no one waits like that anymore.
It boils down to this. Anyone who does not make you feel secure and good about yourself is not a viable relationship. It took me a while in my dating life to realize that.
If people understood this, there would be almost no posts on this forum.
It boils down to this. Anyone who does not make you feel secure and good about yourself is not a viable relationship. It took me a while in my dating life to realize that.
If people understood this, there would be almost no posts on this forum.
Yup.
Unfortunately, many of us once had no idea that was even an option, and apparently, there are still many out there who still don't.
NEVER spend time with anyone whose interactions with you leave you feeling negative or bad about yourself.
Get rid of him.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
