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Sounds like it would be best for you to move on from her. Stop texting her. If she still has interest in you, she'll initiate a conversation with you once she realizes you aren't trying to pursue her.
Once you over-invest in someone without them needing to put in any effort, you'll lose value in their eyes.
Step away and carry on doing you.
Long story short, met this girl on a double date about 2 months ago. Went out and had a great time, got her number, started texting and arranged a following meet-up for the next week. Went out again for a few hours just her and I and had a good time. Spend the following weekend with our friends as well and slept together. Best time yet. Up until this point everything was good. This was last month.
The following weekend it was her birthday, her friend texts me that she wants to plan something that Saturday, then switches it to Sunday because the girl has work, so i decided to play it cool and say i have plans sunday (4th of july weekend). From there i felt a slow drop. Decided to ask the girl again the next weekend and we go out, party till 5am. I text her the next day and she doesnt get back to me until 24 hours later, "hey sorry i forgot to reply", "i thought i replied haha". I started feeling like she's losing interest, we communicate a bit, communication starts to get slow but i play it cool.
Last week, i text her Tuesday asking if she wants to go out with our mutual friends again on Sat. she initially says yes lets go. then i ask her if she wants to spend the night together like last time. she disappears. texts me 3 days later that there's a covid case in her family and she thinks she got it, shes not feeling well. i reply "okay no problem" and leave it at that. Think it might be true but not sure, no stories of any outings posted on IG. was last saturday. Have not heard from her since, its always been me reaching out, i have not reached out and neither has she.
Should i try to reach out again or just walk away for good? I'm just frustrated with the fact that 1) she never initates out if i dont, 2) i feel like shes lost interest with the late replies, cancelation last date, and the fact that we have barely spoken in the past 10+ days.
This is what's referred to as FAFO.
You'll either use this as a learning experience, and not mess things up next time by trying to "play it cool" - or you will double down and do as another poster mentioned, turn the tables on her and reject her, with an added dig about her physical appearance for good measure.
The following weekend it was her birthday, her friend texts me that she wants to plan something that Saturday, then switches it to Sunday because the girl has work, so i decided to play it cool and say i have plans sunday (4th of july weekend). From there i felt a slow drop. Decided to ask the girl again the next weekend and we go out, party till 5am. I text her the next day and she doesnt get back to me until 24 hours later, "hey sorry i forgot to reply", "i thought i replied haha". I started feeling like she's losing interest, we communicate a bit, communication starts to get slow but i play it cool.
Last week, i text her Tuesday asking if she wants to go out with our mutual friends again on Sat. she initially says yes lets go. then i ask her if she wants to spend the night together like last time. she disappears. texts me 3 days later that there's a covid case in her family and she thinks she got it, shes not feeling well. i reply "okay no problem" and leave it at that. Think it might be true but not sure, no stories of any outings posted on IG. was last saturday. Have not heard from her since, its always been me reaching out, i have not reached out and neither has she.
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I think you made two errors, with a third situation:
One, ditching the birthday party. You don't do that for someone's birthday, especially someone you're interested in, even if the relationship is new. You acknowledge it in some way.
Two, you responded "okay, no problem" when she indicated that there was Covid in her family and she may have gotten it. Wow. If someone responded to me like that, in a situation like that, I would assume they have only a passing interest in me. Covid can be and often is very serious and you responded "okay no problem?" That was a major faux pas. At least act concerned!
Three, you two partied til 5am. Who was there? Did she meet or see someone else that she flashed on or connected with? Did she not enjoy the partying as much as you did?
I think it's all 3, but it is at least the first two.
Learn to be more socially adept and you will have better luck in the future.
Last edited by pathrunner; 08-01-2022 at 11:16 AM..
Someone you have taken the time to get to know, engaged with their friends, and have been physically intimate with deserves more than an "ok, no problem" followed by silence when they reveal they are feeling ill with a potential COVID diagnosis.
Do you even like this person at all? Even as one human to another?
Someone you have taken the time to get to know, engaged with their friends, and have been physically intimate with deserves more than an "ok, no problem" followed by silence when they reveal they are feeling ill with a potential COVID diagnosis.
Do you even like this person at all? Even as one human to another?
Yes, the only appropriate outreach at this time is to briefly text and say, I hope your family is ok and I hope if you had (have) Covid, that you're ok. Please let me know if there is anything I can do."
Then wait. No response, let it go.
You slept with this woman, you met her friends, and you didn't think to ask if there is anything you could do for her? Don't play it so cool, buddy. Too many men (and women) do this, and they lose a potentially good relationship.
That's where im at, and what i would typically do, but this girl is so attractive, had so much fun with her, and like her a lot so thats the only thing pulling me to try once more. i know it doesnt change the fact that she makes 0 effort to stay in touch or make plans. she is the shy type but still think it doesnt give her a pass.
According to your post, she had sex with you on the second date so she can't be that shy. Don't consider yourself special, people who do this aren't discriminatory. It's clear she lost interest so leave her alone.
I'm not understanding why you're saying, she never initiates anything, OP. Her friend called you about a b-day party for her. Clearly, she mentioned you to her friend, probably asked her friend to invite you. That counts as initiating. But what did it get her? A polite but untrue "I'm busy that day".
If it had been true that you had a commitment on 4th of July, most guys would have said, "Hey, I've got something that day but if it's ok with you, I'll leave early and join you all a little late." That, assuming you wanted to be with her, which at this point is questionable. So they probably knew your excuse was fake, or took it as a lack of interest, which is why things started to fizzle after that.
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