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Yeah, and you at least wish happy birthday and get a card - no, actually a GIFT would be more appropriate for someone you're intimate with (I don't care how brief a time you've been seeing someone). It doesn't have to be something expensive or momentous, but something to show you care. Again, you played it way too cool.
Last week, i text her Tuesday asking if she wants to go out with our mutual friends again on Sat. she initially says yes lets go. then i ask her if she wants to spend the night together like last time. she disappears. texts me 3 days later that there's a covid case in her family and she thinks she got it, shes not feeling well. i reply "okay no problem" and leave it at that. Think it might be true but not sure, no stories of any outings posted on IG. was last saturday. Have not heard from her since, its always been me reaching out, i have not reached out and neither has she.
Should i try to reach out again or just walk away for good? I'm just frustrated with the fact that 1) she never initates out if i dont, 2) i feel like shes lost interest with the late replies, cancelation last date, and the fact that we have barely spoken in the past 10+ days.
You might've scared her off with the request to spend the night. Sometimes it's better to let that happen naturally instead of trying to arrange it beforehand. If you do want to keep contact with her, try texting her to see how her family's doing with the covid, and take it from there.
You might've scared her off with the request to spend the night. Sometimes it's better to let that happen naturally instead of trying to arrange it beforehand. If you do want to keep contact with her, try texting her to see how her family's doing with the covid, and take it from there.
That was my thought. Sounded like you were assuming a lot and moving REALLY quickly.
But maybe she's just not interested anymore. If she is shy, she is not likely to initiate things, so if you are interested, try again, but don't be too anxious and pushy.
Right. If I were the female in this situation, I would appreciate a nice birthday card (no gift at this point - obviously) saying that you regret not being at her birthday celebration, and asking how she and her family are.
I would do this regardless of whether she's still interested or not. It's just the right thing to do. And who knows, you may even repair the situation.
In other words, if you're going to "give it another shot" do it the right way. No talk of sex or spending the night, no acting cool (and therefore distant), no questions or statements about not having been in contact.
1) reason why i didnt go on that said sunday is because I didn't want to appear too available. We already agreed to Saturday and then her friend text me saying Sunday is better, and i didnt want to give the impression that i have nothing going on, on a 4th of july weekend. So i went out that friday/sat with different people and was actually available sunday. That was probably a mistake i agree, but it was a month ago. I did text her "happy birthday" on the day.
2) i agree that i could have responded differently to someone in her family possibly having covid, but i really didnt like the way she handled things. She didn't even offer to reschedule or say she's sorry for not being able to make it. And the disappearing, texting me 3 days later. ”no problem” probably wasn't the best response, but it was in the moment.
I also agree that asking her if she's staying the night was a wrong move. My friend asked me to ask her, so we can plan something that Sunday too, and since we did it once, didn't think it would be a deal-breaker.
At this point im really tempted to reach out and try to set another date up, but i have mixed feelings about it. Feel like i really haven nothing to lose at this point, though.
1) reason why i didnt go on that said sunday is because I didn't want to appear too available. We already agreed to Saturday and then her friend text me saying Sunday is better, and i didnt want to give the impression that i have nothing going on, on a 4th of july weekend. So i went out that friday/sat with different people and was actually available sunday. That was probably a mistake i agree, but it was a month ago. I did text her "happy birthday" on the day.
2) i agree that i could have responded differently to someone in her family possibly having covid, but i really didnt like the way she handled things. She didn't even offer to reschedule or say she's sorry for not being able to make it. And the disappearing, texting me 3 days later. ”no problem” probably wasn't the best response, but it was in the moment.
I also agree that asking her if she's staying the night was a wrong move. My friend asked me to ask her, so we can plan something that Sunday too, and since we did it once, didn't think it would be a deal-breaker.
At this point im really tempted to reach out and try to set another date up, but i have mixed feelings about it. Feel like i really haven nothing to lose at this point, though.
Please don't! I think you are too self-focused to be dating at the moment. Maybe work on your empathy a bit.
I'm too cool to not have something going on for the fourth of July. @@
If anyone bothered to think about it at all, which is highly unlikely - most people spending more time wrapped up in what other people are thinking of them than they do thinking about other people - they might just as easily assumed you changed other plans to attend the birthday party.
For the future... Instead of trying to act cool, relax and act like yourself. Once you stop caring so much about having an image, and what other people might think about you...then you are on your way to cool.
Seeing as you have mutual friends, you could take the opportunity to tell them in casual conversation that you liked her but didn't think she was interested. No telling if it would get back to her, but if it did it might clue her in. She could be just as hapless as you about what's going on or how to express what she wants.
Unless you somehow perceive that as showing weakness to your friends, heaven forbid. In which case she's better off without you.
reason why i didnt go on that said sunday is because I didn't want to appear too available..
This is utterly idiotic. You were available!
Also: you might try referring to women, rather than “girls.”
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