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1) reason why i didnt go on that said sunday is because I didn't want to appear too available. We already agreed to Saturday and then her friend text me saying Sunday is better, and i didnt want to give the impression that i have nothing going on, on a 4th of july weekend. So i went out that friday/sat with different people and was actually available sunday. That was probably a mistake i agree, but it was a month ago. I did text her "happy birthday" on the day.
And you decided to not "appear too available" the weekend of her birthday? Her BIRTHDAY?
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2) i agree that i could have responded differently to someone in her family possibly having covid, but i really didnt like the way she handled things. She didn't even offer to reschedule or say she's sorry for not being able to make it. And the disappearing, texting me 3 days later. ”no problem” probably wasn't the best response, but it was in the moment.
Seriously? How in the world could she reschedule, having NO IDEA how covid is going to affect her? My own 29 year old daughter just got over covid and it wiped her out for 10 days. She texted me once during that time, and her text was strange. I texted her back, and then didn't hear from her for another week. But I wasn't upset. I knew something was up when I got that first text, and didn't hold her non-responsiveness against her, like YOU seem to be doing.
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I also agree that asking her if she's staying the night was a wrong move. My friend asked me to ask her, so we can plan something that Sunday too, and since we did it once, didn't think it would be a deal-breaker.
At this point im really tempted to reach out and try to set another date up, but i have mixed feelings about it. Feel like i really haven nothing to lose at this point, though.
In a nutshell, you actually see the error of your own ways, but it's like you're shrugging it off. It's like, you know your own behavior wasn't exactly flattering, but her behavior was somehow worse?
How about just reaching out to see how she's feeling, instead of trying to set up another date?
Right. If I were the female in this situation, I would appreciate a nice birthday card (no gift at this point - obviously) saying that you regret not being at her birthday celebration, and asking how she and her family are.
I would do this regardless of whether she's still interested or not. It's just the right thing to do. And who knows, you may even repair the situation.
In other words, if you're going to "give it another shot" do it the right way. No talk of sex or spending the night, no acting cool (and therefore distant), no questions or statements about not having been in contact.
And you decided to not "appear too available" the weekend of her birthday? Her BIRTHDAY?
Seriously? How in the world could she reschedule, having NO IDEA how covid is going to affect her? My own 29 year old daughter just got over covid and it wiped her out for 10 days. She texted me once during that time, and her text was strange. I texted her back, and then didn't hear from her for another week. But I wasn't upset. I knew something was up when I got that first text, and didn't hold her non-responsiveness against her, like YOU seem to be doing.
In a nutshell, you actually see the error of your own ways, but it's like you're shrugging it off. It's like, you know your own behavior wasn't exactly flattering, but her behavior was somehow worse?
How about just reaching out to see how she's feeling, instead of trying to set up another date?
She didnt get covid as her friend told my friend, it was just a bad cold, she thought it might have been covid because her little sister had it (or so she claims). The only reason why i didnt go on her birthday, we knew each other for 3 weeks at that point, and she switched the date on me. As i said, i didnt want to look like i had nothing going on as thats a turn-off.
Either way, rather focus on what i can do right now and not on the past. Either move on or text her. Because i have a feeling i will not hear from her if i dont.
She didnt get covid as her friend told my friend, it was just a bad cold, she thought it might have been covid because her little sister had it (or so she claims). The only reason why i didnt go on her birthday, we knew each other for 3 weeks at that point, and she switched the date on me. As i said, i didnt want to look like i had nothing going on as thats a turn-off.
Either way, rather focus on what i can do right now and not on the past. Either move on or text her. Because i have a feeling i will not hear from her if i dont.
Girls usually hope that a guy they like will show interest. There’s a saying around here that guys almost always make it clear they like someone.
Don’t play games. Text her and take her out on a proper birthday date. Buy her a small gift, like a cute necklace.
Girls usually hope that a guy they like will show interest. There’s a saying around here that guys almost always make it clear they like someone.
Don’t play games. Text her and take her out on a proper birthday date. Buy her a small gift, like a cute necklace.
Stop relying on her friend to be your messenger.
She obviously knows i like her, as i said, ive been reaching out every other week to ask her out. text her randomly here and there too without trying to blow up her phone. i also asked her if she wants to go to miami on a weekend since she said she would love to go, to which she replied that she couldnt travel that weekend because she had a concert planned.
Im just disappointed that if i dont reach out, there's radio silence. as if i dont exist. i take that as a lack of interest on her part.
She didnt get covid as her friend told my friend, it was just a bad cold, she thought it might have been covid because her little sister had it (or so she claims). The only reason why i didnt go on her birthday, we knew each other for 3 weeks at that point, and she switched the date on me. As i said, i didnt want to look like i had nothing going on as thats a turn-off.
Either way, rather focus on what i can do right now and not on the past. Either move on or text her. Because i have a feeling i will not hear from her if i dont.
Thats easily solved by a white lie, "I have some plans but I think i can get out of them to be there for her"
She obviously knows i like her, as i said, ive been reaching out every other week to ask her out. text her randomly here and there too without trying to blow up her phone. i also asked her if she wants to go to miami on a weekend since she said she would love to go, to which she replied that she couldnt travel that weekend because she had a concert planned.
Im just disappointed that if i dont reach out, there's radio silence. as if i dont exist. i take that as a lack of interest on her part.
I see that comment a lot on here. Its true with friends. Most people do not take the initiative. Worrying about who takes initiative is a sign of insecurity. If you only wait for people to come to you, you will be alone. And with women especially, there are quite a few traditional women who believe it is the man's role to initiate.
Now it may mean you pursue someone who isn't interested, but so what? Until you are pretty sure, if you are interested, keep going.
And I say this as someone who by nature is pretty shy and non-assertive. I've learned from experience.
Inertia is a strong force.
She didnt get covid as her friend told my friend, it was just a bad cold, she thought it might have been covid because her little sister had it (or so she claims).
Why be so suspicious?
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The only reason why i didnt go on her birthday, we knew each other for 3 weeks at that point, and she switched the date on me. As i said, i didnt want to look like i had nothing going on as thats a turn-off.
You said that the reason you didn't go on her birthday was because you didn't want to appear "too available." And no...SHE didn't "switch the date on you". She had to WORK on Saturday, which is why her FRIEND changed the date.
And so WHAT if you only knew her for 3 weeks? You had already slept with her at that point. Kind of like, she's good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to celebrate her birthday with her?
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Either way, rather focus on what i can do right now and not on the past. Either move on or text her. Because i have a feeling i will not hear from her if i dont.
Like others have said, contact her and see how she's feeling.
She obviously knows i like her, as i said, ive been reaching out every other week to ask her out. text her randomly here and there too without trying to blow up her phone. i also asked her if she wants to go to miami on a weekend since she said she would love to go, to which she replied that she couldnt travel that weekend because she had a concert planned.
Im just disappointed that if i dont reach out, there's radio silence. as if i dont exist. i take that as a lack of interest on her part.
Reaching out to someone you "like" every other week, and texting "randomly" does not equate to a whole lot of "interest."
Of course, you wouldn't want to blow up her phone every hour of every day either, but there's a happy medium somewhere.
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