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Yes, I'm wondering if he shows any other signs of obsessive-compulsive behavior. Are you sure it only relates to food? Have you noticed any other oddities in his behavior?
Not liking green beans is not a symptom of OCD.
Having been married for over forty years and doing the bulk of the cooking for Mrs. NBP and four kids I am just astounded that this is an issue.
Here was my trick, make something everyone likes and if someone doesn't like something else being served (like the aforementioned green beans) then they don't have to eat them because there's something else (what everyone likes).
Like Sonic Spork I also had to sit for hours until the plate was clean (anyone for tripe?).
Yes, I'm wondering if he shows any other signs of obsessive-compulsive behavior. Are you sure it only relates to food? Have you noticed any other oddities in his behavior?
I think when you start to observe and diagnose someone else's behaviour there's a high likelihood that you will find "something" with just about everyone. Everyone has their habits and ideosyncracies.
It drives me nuts when every holiday meal is centered on what 1 family member will or will not eat.
It drives me nuts to prepare good, healthy, normal meals only to have family member not eat it.
It drives me nuts that I have to pay to go to a crap restaurant whenever family member visits because their palate has not advanced beyond chicken tenders, boxed mac and cheese and plain hamburgers and we all got tired of the idiocy of refusing to eat normal food.
Same family member brings chips ahoy bag of cookies instead of eating homemade cookies which are a billion times better.
if you don't want to be treated like a child at 47 than stop acting like one.
I'd advise the OP to dump the relationship. Food is an EVERYDAY argument. Not worth it.
Your first point makes sense, why should a meal be centered on the outlier, let them pick from what is at the table, or bring something of their own or both.
The rest of the points sound kind of controlling and snobbish.
If you read some of these responses, some people have different palates that physically cannot tolerate what you may percieve is superior. They simply taste things differently so it isn't really fair to judge them on something that is biologically unique and over which they have no control.
"Supertasters often report that foods like broccoli, cabbage, spinach, grapefruit and coffee taste very bitter. The opposite of supertasters are non-tasters. Non-tasters have very few taste buds and, to them, most food may seem bland and unexciting. The people in the middle are average tasters."
It sounds to me like this applies more to the OP than her husband. I saw no indication that her husband cannot tolerate other foods or gags on certain vegetables, he's just "happy not to eat vegetables" and sees no compelling reason for variety. It's the OP that needs a variety of texture, flavor, seasoning in her diet.
Some people, I might even argue most people, are creatures of habit and tend to stick to the tried and true. It's why we have "brand loyalty". There's nothing wrong with a person who smokes the same brand all the time and doesn't want to try new flavors and types of tobacco. There's nothing wrong with a person who drinks the same brand of beer all the time and isn't into craft brews or wine tasting. There's nothing wrong with a person who reads the same mystery fiction all the time and doesn't want to mix it up with sci-fi or romance. There's nothing wrong with a person who listens to their playlist of country music all the time and doesn't want to listen to rap or jazz now and then. There's nothing wrong with a person who visits the same resort every year and just drinks mimosas by the beach all week, not visits a new country and experiences a new culture every vacation. What is it with the elitism of those who crave variety and adventure, smugly judging those who don't share the same interests in new things?
It doesn't sound like the OP decided to saddle up with an unhealthy, overweight, boring, lazy slob. This is the "only real issue" they have. Sounds more like OP is picking pout the one flaw in him and harping on it. And we have people here psycho-analyzing him and diagnosing his health over it. SMH
Your first point makes sense, why should a meal be centered on the outlier, let them pick from what is at the table, or bring something of their own or both.
The person to whom you responded demonstrates perfectly that "elitism" that I mentioned, referring to their palate as "advanced" because they like something the other person doesn't. And there is nothing, absolutely nothing, in the OP's account to indicate that he asks or expects anyone else to center meals around his tastes. He's happy to eat his own food if he doesn't like what she makes and "He's not forcing me to change my ways".
The person to whom you responded demonstrates perfectly that "elitism" that I mentioned, referring to their palate as "advanced" because they like something the other person doesn't. And there is nothing, absolutely nothing, in the OP's account to indicate that he asks or expects anyone else to center meals around his tastes. He's happy to eat his own food if he doesn't like what she makes and "He's not forcing me to change my ways".
Yes, I'm wondering if he shows any other signs of obsessive-compulsive behavior. Are you sure it only relates to food? Have you noticed any other oddities in his behavior?
Are you serious? Why are you going there? Do you think everyone on this thread is odd because we want to eat or not eat certain foods?
I like my food smothered in jalapenos. And I will say no thank you to your homemade chocolate cake.
If you don't eat like me, should we label you as obsessive-compulsive with behavior oddities? LOL
You KNEW this when you decided to make it your responsibility to care what he eats and even COOK for him.
WHY?
Obviously he doesn't give a crap about his health, future and is stubborn.
Let him eat/prepare what he wants and you do the same.
By middle age I thought EVERYONE knew you can't "CHANGE PEOPLE" and why is this so important to you other than emotional reasons and CONTROL?
I have a senior neighbor married for around 15 years and that's how they handle food. She's nagged him forEVER about not wearing the CPAP, eating crap, ignoring doctor advise to no avail.
Unfortunately her husband's diabetes and new DEMENTIA is also now her burden. She's running around making him get current sleep studies and wear the new CPAP which he's only willing to pretend to wear for the minimum period since they will bill them $3000 penalty if he doesn't.
It will make ZERO difference now.
Too late.
That's why I'm not married. Accept YOUR future or create a different one.
Having been married for over forty years and doing the bulk of the cooking for Mrs. NBP and four kids I am just astounded that this is an issue.
Here was my trick, make something everyone likes and if someone doesn't like something else being served (like the aforementioned green beans) then they don't have to eat them because there's something else (what everyone likes).
Like Sonic Spork I also had to sit for hours until the plate was clean (anyone for tripe?).
This is TWO ADULTS PEOPLE not a family of 4 kids.
Why should she do ANYTHING about it? Let him eat his own crap if that's why he insists on.
Especially waste her time and FOOD on something he won't eat.
They simply taste things differently so it isn't really fair to judge them on something that is biologically unique and over which they have no control.
When your seven yr old gets to help himself to desert at the ice cream station and he winds up throwing away the bowl of ice cream (that he loves) that he topped with his favorite candies, because the mix of textures is "gross" to him, that's not just picky eating. It's a sensory issue, the mix of hard and crunchy with soft and creamy was very unpleasant for him.
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When your seven yr old gets to help himself to desert at the ice cream station and he winds up throwing away the bowl of ice cream (that he loves) that he topped with his favorite candies, because the mix of textures is "gross" to him, that's not just picky eating. It's a sensory issue, the mix of hard and crunchy with soft and creamy was very unpleasant for him.
