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At 5'5" 190 you have to admit that is big. I'm 5'7" and wiegh 160 and I'm freaking out. Of course you have the legitimate excuse of just having had a child.
Here is a fact: men don't like change, especially in women. If you were a big woman when he married you, there wouldn't be a problem but I suspect you were much smaller when he met and married you. That's thw woman he was attracted to.
I don't know why women think that having kids means you get to blow up, never lose the baby weight, and still have a man attracted to you? What's wrong with going back to your pre-baby wieght? Outside of the fact that it's healthier for you, it's healthier for your marriage.
Most women know by the time they decide to marry a man exactly why he is with her. He didn't become insensitive overnight. Either lose the weight or be prepared to lose him.
I agree to a point that partners should not get so comfortable that they let themselves go, BUT having a baby takes a toll on a womans body., Some women can go right back to their pre-baby weight & never look like they had a baby. Others arent so fortunate. Better or worse?? whatever.......
Maybe he's trying some ill-advised "tough love" to force the issue of an unhealthy lifestyle. I don't agree with his methods at all, but you'll be happier with yourself if you get the weight under control, and the sooner you do it the easier it'll be.
Drop the 50 pounds for a healthier you, then see where the marriage stands.
Maybe he's trying some ill-advised "tough love" to force the issue of an unhealthy lifestyle. I don't agree with his methods at all, but you'll be happier with yourself if you get the weight under control, and the sooner you do it the easier it'll be.
Drop the 50 pounds for a healthier you, then see where the marriage stands.
There is a great play and a movie on this topic. Too bad I can't remember titles (the actors were all Black in both versions). The jerk kept picking on his wife because of her weight and basically was humiliating her on a regular basis and ended up having an affair. They divorced. She slimmed down and remained the good person she always was and married a great guy. Her ex married the bit*ch he was cheating with. Was he surprised to see his ex-wife later on all beautiful, glowing, and happy and was he miserable!
I hope that when you lose the weight, you do so for your own benefit, and not his, and I hope that you address the issue of respect with him.
Cutting off affection (be it sex or any other vehicle of showing affection) isn't "tough love," it's emotionally abusive. Wielding intimacy as a weapon is definitely not a sign of love or respect.
My advice is to do what it takes to get yourself happy and healthy...and bear in mind that that might not so much be dropping 50+ of excess weight as dropping 100+ pounds of manipulative husband.
Addressing that won't change the reality that her husband may well be a d**ck, though.
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