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Meh, I think you over looked my point Nite Ryder. I didn`t say that I thought he should have to go on a diet, because she gained weight, I thought it would be something that they could do "together, as a couple" kind of thing. I would call it encouragement from the SO. Its alot more fun to exercise, and eat right together. At least it is for me and my husband.
Doing things together as a couple is fun, you are right. But I don't think either of these two people get along well enough to do much of anything together. Their sex life never was great, even in the beginning. He might just be looking for an excuse to withdraw affection, and she is mad and blames him for doing so, she needs to take some of the blame too. It is always a two way street, they both have to work at making things better or they won't be. I have two close friends that have dieted many times together since know them. They lose weight until it is quite noticable, then they go off the diet. He gains very little back and she gains back more than what she lost. She's had one heart attack, but that doesn't seem to concern her. She just doesn't use good sense when it comes to eating, you can't have two glasses of wine with dinner and expect to lose weight.
That's hard. Keep loosing the weight though. I heard someone tell me that's it's unfair to marry someone in one condition and they completely change into another. Loose the weight for both of you and when you get to your prior weight set up the recorded and make your own video together.
My husband was asking me to sex with other ppl. He told me he bored of having sex with me after married for over 4 yrs. He said it is only one way to save our married. I told him I couldn't have sex with s.one I don't love. I love him and I wouldn't mind to try if it's going to help our married. I asked him how many ppl do I have to sleep with. He said 2-3 yrs. I don't think that is called married life. His step mother told me he had done 3 sums when he was 17. He was a good husband for 4 yrs. Then he wants to move back to Bangkok for good cuz lot of sexy girl interested in him more than girl in his country. What should I do?
Old thread so I'm sure the OP will never see this, but at 5'5" and 199 pounds is quite large. That's most likely obese (can't say for sure without knowing other factors). Honestly I think it is very rude and unrealistic to let yourself go to that degree and expect your partner to still be sexually attracted to you. Some men (and women) don't mind have sex with the obese, and good for them. But if your spouse isn't one of those people, it is highly unfair to expect to him/her meet your slide into physical disgrace with sexual enthusiasm. You cared enough to look your best before you got married, not continuing to do so after you get married is extending a middle finger to your partner.
...and weight issues claim another marriage as a victim. I swear to god that pre-marital counseling should include the very real risk that gaining weight puts on a marriage. Men can be extremely turned off by extra weight to the point of repulsion. For whatever reason this trait evolved in man. One cannot control what they are attracted to. One can control weight (except in very rare cases).
Note that men also owe it to their wives to stay in shape.
I just don't know whether to leave him or see if it gets better after losing the weight. We have so much at stake and other than this enormous issue, we enjoy each other's company.
I can't really believe that since he basically is saying you're too fat for his love.
Really, get some self esteem and start taking back your life...without him.
We've been married for several years, have two small kids (I just had a baby last year.) We've never really had much of a sex life due to a past porn addiction of his and an online affair, but those things have been over for a long time, and it's still non-existent. He says it's because I've gained weight and he's no longer attracted to me, but he loves me. How is that love? I read somewhere this could be emotional abuse. I'm losing weight, but am not sure that will change anything. In the meantime, I resent him and don't even want to be around him. I asked him what kind of sexual outlet he has and he said he just suffers. I'm overweight, but you would think I was an elephant the way he acts. I'm 5'5'' and 199. I plan to lose 50 lbs, but Lord knows if that will even be good enough for him... I should also mention that we are like roommates-- there's really no affection at all except for a pop kiss every now and then or a hug. Thanks for reading.
5'5" and 199 pounds? I'd hit that. Oh, and your husband is a douche!
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