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But to be fair, if I run in and out of your room and don't listen to the three year history of your toe fungus, it's because I wanted to see you quickly so that your time wouldn't be wasted any more with waiting, and I have someone really much sicker than you elsewhere.
People come to the ED and completely forget that it's an ED. And no matter how bad you feel, there is probably someone there way sicker than you are. That does not mean your care will be short-shrifted (not by me), but you may perceive it has been because you don't get all the hand-holding and conversation (most of which is really irrelevant) you want or expect.
This happens every day...someone is indignant because they didn't get as much face time (even though their care was entirely appropriate) with me as they wanted even though they knew there was someone dying in the next room. Or even if they don't know, they should show some awareness of their situation.
I was actually actively doing cpr on a man when a woman stalked in and demanded to know why she and her son had waited 20 minutes for the splint to be put on his cracked forearm. I didn't even know how to answer that question.
Docs are people, just like everyone else. Some are good mates. Some are not. I wouldn't date or marry myself. There's a lot of ego there, a lot of compartmentalization of things in my head, a lot of 'I'm right,' a lot of not being able to turn off the bossiness that is critical at work (but doesn't always go over well at home)...I know I am nice, loyal, faithful, sweet, and thoughtful to my mates, but sometimes I wonder how they put up with me.
Respect goes both ways. If you're the patient, you want your doctor to respect your time. But you also have to respect theirs. I would never go to my doctor and act like I was his only or most important patient nor would I waste his time telling him my life history or bombarding him with articles and papers I found on the internet. I don't blame the doctor for wanting to get away from patients like that. When I go to my doctor (which is extremely rare), I don't even waste time with chit-chat. I come armed with details about what's wrong and I actually do my homework before I get there so he doesn't have to waste time educating me on stuff I should already know.
I agree that some docs make good partners and others don't. The earlier poster, the one who's also a doctor, said she couldn't just turn off the "I'm always right" attitude. I found that rather disturbing and would never tolerate it from a partner. In my family, I have several people who are doctors. One is extremely good at turning off the "I'm right" mindset when he gets home. But another relative is absolutely lousy at it and he rubs all of us the wrong way. Some people's personality is just better suited to being a doctor.
Scary is a relative term. If I had to handle people who needed help I would find it easier to be the doctor than the paramedic. Paramedics show up to find people in bad positions like a child who just drowned or someone bleeding to death and talking to them. The doctor often deals with people who are unconscious and just has to play "operation". I prefer the latter. I'm sure both have uncomfortable spots though routinely depending on too many factors to even attempt to list.
Yeah, and when the 'operation' patients die, we still have to go out and tell complete strangers that their mom/dad/brother/kid/whatever is dead. That tears me up. I don't know how to make it better for them.
I've run with the medics a lot. It always blows my mind to actually see the scene. Sometimes as the doc, I feel like if I had been at the scene, I would have a better idea of what's going on with the patient than when they just show up being bagged or wrapped up on a backboard. It's more context that would be helpful.
I agree that some docs make good partners and others don't. The earlier poster, the one who's also a doctor, said she couldn't just turn off the "I'm always right" attitude. I found that rather disturbing and would never tolerate it from a partner. In my family, I have several people who are doctors. One is extremely good at turning off the "I'm right" mindset when he gets home. But another relative is absolutely lousy at it and he rubs all of us the wrong way. Some people's personality is just better suited to being a doctor.
Good partners for who? A good partner for one person is a bad partner for another, and vice versa. I have a wonderful marriage, in spite of what you consider to be a character flaw, and more friends than I can sometimes even handle. I'm happy to have my "character flaw", and I have no plans to change. I think it is strange that you find my attitude "disturbing". You are a complete stranger. We have never met and probably never will. From the little I have seen of you online, I dont think I like you very much either, but I certainly couldn't care enough to be "disturbed" by a complete stranger's words on the computer screen. I think you should relax, and not let things bother you so much. Life is short, and stress is bad for your health.
I am a woman, and I don't like doctors.
So I want to hear the reasons.
Doctors are self assured or they wouldn't have gotten where they are, I find that attractive in a man. Doctors are care givers, they NOTICE if you are upset, if you don't feel well, not qualities I have found often enough in men who are NOT doctors.
AND if the doctor is a good doctor he is financially secure.
I am a woman, and I don't like doctors.
So I want to hear the reasons.
I still think this is a myth portrayed by hollywood.
I found myself a nice woman, but honestly I think most people in the medical profession are the opposite of what you see on Grays Anatomy or ER tv shows...
The vast majority of those in medical school are rather geeky and nerdy.
I can't say that I wouldn't date a doctor. I could meet a very charming one and who knows...
However, in my work I deal with them everyday and I really just get tired of the God complex that comes with most of them. That would be a problem, for sure.
I don't believe that all woman are attracted to doctors; however, successful physicians typically have several traits that are very appealing to women: they have proven themselves intelligent and hard-working, and they have a secure and generous income.
On the flip-side, physicians can be narcissistic jerks, which doesn't make for a pleasant, fulfilling marriage. I've found that the nicest ones are usually general practitioners and pediatricians.
Last edited by formercalifornian; 02-14-2010 at 08:13 AM..
My dad is a doctor and mum regrets being married to him .. at all times i've seen him talking about his patients .. probably thats why ..people honor him with respect ..but he failed to be a family man .. plus hes a workaholic ..always on the move .. and thats the reason why i didnt study medicine ..i could have been a fine doctor ..as a teenager was interested in gynaecology lolz ..but for all the wrong reasons lolz ..sorry ladies hehe .. but yes sometimes i wish i was a doctor for being surrounded by buxom nurses and diagnosing lovely ladies .. geez .. my life as an art director is all about cartooooooons ..heck leave doctors aside ..do yall women like artists ? .. anywayz for the doctor's wives if your husbands think of what i thought as a teenager ..becarefull lolz
Doctors are self assured or they wouldn't have gotten where they are, I find that attractive in a man. Doctors are care givers, they NOTICE if you are upset, if you don't feel well, not qualities I have found often enough in men who are NOT doctors.
AND if the doctor is a good doctor he is financially secure.
Im not a doctor but yes i have the ability to notice that ..and yes i have the ability to make people laugh .. isnt laughter a good medicine
Doctors are self assured or they wouldn't have gotten where they are, I find that attractive in a man. Doctors are care givers, they NOTICE if you are upset, if you don't feel well, not qualities I have found often enough in men who are NOT doctors.
AND if the doctor is a good doctor he is financially secure.
That still doesn't mean they would make a good relationship partner though which is why I just don't get the fantasy about doctors. A doctor is like any other guy some are good people some are bad people some will have a personality you will like others do not.
I already said this once but I'll say it again there is not some magic pill doctors swallow when they become doctors that make them some sort of perfect relationship partner for every woman in the world.
I'll have to say I kind of feel sorry for you if you think only doctors care about you when you're upset or not feeling well you have dated some truly terrible men.
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