Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
People are taking what I said the wrong way because it all depends on the curcumstances
If they gained weight because of pregnancy or medical conditions then it is fine.
However, if they gained weight because they are lazy, want to stuff their face with food without going to the gym then its not ok.
I am not attracted to someone that is 20 pounds overweight already and plans on stuffing their face with a pizza and a bowl of ice cream for dessert.
IMO, their is know reason why ANYONE in the U.S. should be overweight unless for a medical condition or pregnancy.
If more people were as harsh as me then maybe 1 out of five people in the U.S. would not be obese. Those numbers are not even including the ones that are overweight.
Everything that I just said goes both ways. Ladies, if your husband is stuffing his face with bad foods and is overweight then say something. Trust me it goes for men too.
It might be harsh. However, many people agree they just dont have the guts to say it.
I have been getting rep points all day from that post
1 in 3 americans is obese 1 in 4 children is obese.
in france 1 in 10 is obese.
No, that's not why. I do love him, but in a more friendship kind of way. There have been many, many things that have turned me off, or interfered with my feelings toward him. I won't go into all of that. But I will admit, the weight gain is a huge turn off for me, and even more - the reluctance to do anything about it. On top of this, and the other stuff I'm not going to get into, he refuses to go to counseling. He's either deluded into believing that everything is just fine with us, or he's threatening me with divorce. There's no in between - either this, or that. It does a number on your feelings toward that person and your emotions. That's probably why I come across as a cold-hearted b*tch.
No, that's not why. I do love him, but in a more friendship kind of way. There have been many, many things that have turned me off, or interfered with my feelings toward him. I won't go into all of that. But I will admit, the weight gain is a huge turn off for me, and even more - the reluctance to do anything about it. On top of this, and the other stuff I'm not going to get into, he refuses to go to counseling. He's either deluded into believing that everything is just fine with us, or he's threatening me with divorce. There's no in between - either this, or that. It does a number on your feelings toward that person and your emotions. That's probably why I come across as a cold-hearted b*tch.
I already knew your answer would be a NO. That's why I asked it. Many times a spouse will say its the weight and nothing more. You explained your situation and we do not think you are a heartless b*tch. You are very enthusiastic and we love that attitude.
To those that say weight is grounds for divorce are just not saying what other problems there are. I agree with Twinkle in that being fat is a turn off, but its one of several issues that couples have.
<shrug>
I was just giving an example, not validating anything or even offering sympathy, just stating a fact that guys that work long hours and don't take care of themselves start croaking in their late 40's and early 50's...drop like flies.
Next time I will fly out to wherever they live and give her hubby a full exam (rubber glove and all) before posting.
My post was somewhat misdirected, MG. Sorry about that.
It should've been addressed to Twinkle because unless her husband has changed drastically since the time the picture I saw was taken he's hardly fat. He could be anything, but he's simply not fat.
In his suits, he can hide it fairly well. He still looks big, but not as big as when he's in a T-shirt and shorts. But yes, he's gained a few more pounds. He's about 50 pounds overweight. It's not so much the weight, but the reluctance to do anything about it. Yet, I'm pretty much expected to be a young, hot thing. Granted, I need to maintain my weight because I compete in ballroom dance. But I'll bet if I gained 50 pounds, he'd probably want me to do something about it. Hell, he'd even go out on a limb and actually PAY for my trainer and stuff so I could lose weight. I currently pay for all my own training, etc.
I know a guy who said that when he took his wedding vows he didn't say "until death do us part but said "until weight do us part" instead -- the preacher and the bride didn't hear it.
If I ever wondered why the divorce rate is so high .. sheesh.
If you really feel that you will only love your spouse if they don't change, do society a favor and don't get married. People change. They get fat. They get cancer. They get bitter. They sag. They get over it.
Marriage is a serious, lifetime commitment to another person. The LEAST important thing about your partner is the way they look. #1 EVERYONE gets old. Everyone. #2 Even if your partner is Angelina Jolie, it's not going to be the same as the first 6 months.
People need to grow up. Either pick a person's soul, or just serially-date (and not marry).
Ya dude I can totally relate. I get really turned off by over weight dudes myself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes
No, that's not why. I do love him, but in a more friendship kind of way. There have been many, many things that have turned me off, or interfered with my feelings toward him. I won't go into all of that. But I will admit, the weight gain is a huge turn off for me, and even more - the reluctance to do anything about it. On top of this, and the other stuff I'm not going to get into, he refuses to go to counseling. He's either deluded into believing that everything is just fine with us, or he's threatening me with divorce. There's no in between - either this, or that. It does a number on your feelings toward that person and your emotions. That's probably why I come across as a cold-hearted b*tch.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.
