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I got me a date this Friday, and the few phone calls we've had (we have not yet met) were long and pleasant.
Comparing to some of the pre-first date calls I had with some other girls, these calls went well. And with some of the women with whom I had not so flowing calls, I later developed chemistry, we clicked, things happened, etc.
I'm taking this seriously... she seems to have long-term potential.
So here I am, planning the evening (I feel like a master of dates... choose a cool restaurant that is not far from a trendy, classy, mature bar or lounge AND have a back-up in case the first choice is packed or noisy or what not).
I'm reminding myself to call the lady after as I always do - 2 to 3 days later - to "follow up." I know I will ask her at the end if we can meet again (and every time I wanted to meet again and popped that question, I got a "yes" and always took them out a 2nd, 3rd, time, etc).
Yet, I thought. DO I seem desperate if I call the very next day? I don't recall ever having done so after a first date.
Women, what's the longest a man is allowed to go between date 1 and follow-up call before you dismiss him as a player, as someone who is not interested, or what not?
dude, you're a master of dates and you take her to a restaurant?? ughhhhh.... should have gone for coffee or shopping or something mellow.. you haven't even met her & you're deciding long term potential?? uh oh..
I didn't read it like he's ready to get married, ILikeSmartHippies. More like, "Wow... she seems intelligent, maybe this has possibilities".
And as far as "how long"... IMO, it really depends on how much you liked her. I never understood the "wait 3 days" rule or whatever it was. If ya like the girl, call her when you want to talk to her next. Maybe that's the day after your first date, maybe it's a day after, or a day after that.
IMO, I knew my husband liked me when he called me the next business day (I gave him my work # when we first met... he had to wait from Sunday to Monday to call me). When asked a couple years ago (and by then we'd been married for a couple years) as to why he didn't play that man game where ya wait to call the girl and he said, "I didn't want to lose my place in your life".
Plain and simple... call her the next time you wanna talk to her. No need to make things complicated, no mind games being played. Just call when ya wanna talk to her.
I didn't read it like he's ready to get married, ILikeSmartHippies. More like, "Wow... she seems intelligent, maybe this has possibilities"... And as far as "how long"... IMO, it really depends on how much you liked her. I never understood the "wait 3 days" rule or whatever it was. If ya like the girl, call her when you want to talk to her next. Maybe that's the day after your first date, maybe it's a day after, or a day after that... Plain and simple... call her the next time you wanna talk to her. No need to make things complicated, no mind games being played. Just call when ya wanna talk to her.
I totally agree with canibeyou. Maybe because I'm older now, and less inclined for games. Honesty with diplomacy works best for me. Call her back the next day to follow up if the date went really well and you'd like to see her again. Good luck!
I agree, call when you want to call. I never understood these rules...
If a girl likes you, then she wants to hear from you. If she doesn't like you, better to find out sooner than later.
I'd call the next day, and definitely no later than the day after if I were you. In 3 days time she will think you aren't interested in her, that she doesn't rate the time of day with you. Even worse if she has Alzheimers - in 3 days she'll be wondering "who was that???"
The idea behind the not calling rule is to give the impression that you have other things going for you in life, like school, career, friends so on so forth. If you call right away it gives the impression that you are desperate and you are just sitting around all day doing nothing. Also it gives the impression that you are clingy, that is a female trait. Women are attracted to men who are confident, strong and display leadership qualities. I usually call one week after and that is if she had sex with me, otherwise I don't even bother. I find another girl to go with.
Also good idea to plan it out. When you go on a date, you want to be pushing your agenda not going a long with her agenda. That means if you want to get sex that night, you better plan to end it with, "wanna go back to my place etc." I personally don't like going out to dinner a lot of girls are insecure about eating in front of guys and I personally don't want to be pressured into buying her meal. Too expensive. My favorite first date: Come over to my house to watch a movie.
No point going after women who aren't sexually attracted to you.
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In 3 days time she will think you aren't interested in her, that she doesn't rate the time of day with you.
haha this is funny but that is exactly what you want her to think. You want her insecure and you want her thinking, "when will he call me? Did I do something wrong? What did he not like about me? etc. When you do call, she'll be shocked and probably very excited that you decided to call. If she asks why, just say you were very busy with a new project at work etc. etc.
Last edited by killer2021; 04-30-2009 at 01:20 AM..
The idea behind the not calling rule is to give the impression that you have other things going for you in life, like school, career, friends so on so forth. If you call right away it gives the impression that you are desperate and you are just sitting around all day doing nothing. I usually call one week after and that is if she had sex with me, otherwise I don't even bother. I find another girl to go with.
No point going after women who aren't sexually attracted to you.
haha this is funny but that is exactly what you want her to think. You want her insecure and you want her thinking, "when will he call me? Did I do something wrong? What did he not like about me? etc. When you do call, she'll be shocked and probably very excited that you decided to call. If she asks why, just say you were very busy with a new project at work etc. etc.
Now, if it were me ... I'd probably just tell you to kiss my ass. That is, if I can even be bothered with your phone call.
Now, if it were me ... I'd probably just tell you to kiss my ass. That is, if I can even be bothered with your phone call.
Sorry sweetheart but if this tactic did not work, men would not use it. You have absolutely no experience dating women at all. So I wouldn't be talking.
Oh and if I did meet a ***** like you (who probably doesn't put out until the 6,000th date) you would be out of the running pretty damn quick. I wouldn't even bother calling you. I can smell feminists like yourself from a mile away. I don't tolerate any attitude from women at all. When you are with me, it is my way or you are done. Plenty of other women out there who are willing to get the job done.
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