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It depends on the quality of a girl. You know as well as I do, things are tough and jobs are getting hard to come by. If you are in a position to save money and help yourself improve your chances of success when you move out on your own, go for it. If the girls don't understand that, ask them to cover your rent for your new apartment. Tell me what they say.....
Well it all comes down to the situation of how the parents are,the girl is in attitude,and why you are there.
Easy going parents it seems like it would be ok,specially if you are going to school or something,a girl who isn't a &^%$ should realize that.
I moved back in with my dad at 24 because his wife passed on and I could tell he was feeling down being alone.Now mind you at 18 right out of high school he kicked me out for not waking up to take out the trash one day....yeah for real "here's a hundred bucks get the hell out".He was a hard hard man, "my gawd damn house, my rules" attitude.So it was a big mistake that I moved back in at 24 because I lost a couple girlfriends when he proceeded to yell at me in front of them when we came home.He jumped on me about having chicks stay the night and stuff.
This lasted until I was mid 25 when then he decided to move away and I bought the house from him.So like killer said,there is no peace of mind like being king of your castle.Sometimes you gotta take the hits in the meantime but if you are financially capable better to be out on your own.
ok im 25, i live with my parents. If i were to tell a girl this- would it be a deal-breaker?
At first glance I speculate most woman of your age range would write you off. But IMO it depends.
If you're 25 because you just finished college and just started working, you get a pass.
if you're in grad school, and you're living at home to cut costs, you get a pass - although if you're in grad school, then I imagine you won't have time for a girl.
"Steve," a cousin of mine, has never left home. He turned 38 this year. But he hasn't been a mama's boy since he was a prepubescent teens. You see, his parents trust him and treat him like an adult, and they've done so since he was 20. He left college to help out in the family business, which has expanded in recent years. He now co-owns and sole-manages one of his father's businesses, which is a demanding job - but which also rewards him handsomely.
He has always had total independence and since the age of about 25-26, he's been pretty much on his own financially. He opened a personal business on the side which did got him lots of money. He has since lost that business and went through a "drought,", but he's always been very strong-minded, independent, a solver of his own problems, and very much aware of what life is all about. He just bought himself a condo in a brand-new luxury building. He hasn't moved in yet because it's not ready, and he might not move in because he might later sell it at a profit.
Women saw this all along, and he's always had a woman. Go away for the weekend? Rent a cabin somewhere? Take her fishing or camping? Expensive dinners, dates? And "late night rendezvous?" My cousin has never lacked the means to do this, and nothing stops him when he wants to do this stuff with the woman he's dating.
Contrast my cousin with a guy I know. "Sam" is turning 37 soon, but he has always lived at home. He went to grad school (twice) and still paying off the loans. He has never made a lot of money and has never been able to afford living on his own (and I don't just mean financially; his mother is a widower and very needy in some ways, so he can't afford to leave her to herself).
Sam is a mama's boy but not just because he lives at home, but rather, in spite of it. He's very accommodated, and has little life experience, whether it's dating or other stuff. He has none of the ambition and yes, greed for personal success and growth that Steve has. They are worlds apart - Sam is a little older than me but sometimes he amazes me at how little he knows about handling certain life situations.
Again, women see all this. It's not only the privacy factor that may be missing if their BF lives with his parents. It's the image and the sense of self and confidence that men portray all-around. Steve has a strong personality and does things his way; it helps that he has the full trust and backing of his parents to live as he wishes. Sam is mellow and is very limited, in part because of money, in part because of personality, and in part because his mother is bossy and sometimes overwhelms him (partly his fault, partly hers; she's domineering and bossy, and he's too mellow to fight back and too comfortable to seek out his own independence, even if that cost him some perks).
The point I'm trying to make is, yes, at first impression most people would write off men who still live at home, especially men of my cousin's age. But I believe it's how you handle yourself. If you're a successful, confident, independent, financially secure, and well-lived man who is not the mama's boy that people stereotype "still living at home" guys as, women who are smart will see it all and be attracted.
ok im 25, i live with my parents. If i were to tell a girl this- would it be a deal-breaker?
If you're close to your parents, there is absolutely nothing abnormal or wrong with this. Who cares what others think? At some point, you will have your own place. If a girl is shallow enough to look negatively at you because of this nit, thank her for doing you a favor, then set a world record running away from her. Why put up with the shallowness?
It depends on your particular circumstances. If you live with your parents because you are temporarily out of a job, or you are a student in an expensive private college and can't afford your own place, it's not a deal-breaker as far as I am concerned. But, I know a young man who owns a luxury car and a slew of very expensive stuff, and makes more money than most people his age can dream of -- and still lives with his parents. That suggests a kind of dependency on the parents that signals emotional immaturity and problems down the road where the man allows the parents to barge into his private relationships. This would be a deal-breaker for me, even if living-with-the-parents was done under the pretext of "saving money". I've known a couple who spent several years living with the husband's mom ostensibly for the purpose of "saving money"; the wife counted the days until they had enough money to move out (though truth be told, they always had enough money to move out). In the end they saved up to buy a mansion -- where the husband's mother immediately moved in with them.
ok im 25, i live with my parents. If i were to tell a girl this- would it be a deal-breaker?
I lived with my parents during colllege and it was a deal breaker. Kept me from having a significant other and made me the object of much teasing by my acquaintences. If you can afford to live on your own, you should move out as soon as possible.
The twenties is a difficult age to date for a lot of people in the nation.
I know business professionals that are in their thirties and they aren't even married or in a serious relationship because they are so dedicated to their profession.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bchris02
I lived with my parents during colllege and it was a deal breaker. Kept me from having a significant other and made me the object of much teasing by my acquaintences. If you can afford to live on your own, you should move out as soon as possible.
Last edited by artsyguy; 05-06-2009 at 12:07 PM..
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