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I like your post a lot and would have given you a rep.
Quote:
Originally Posted by orangeapple
That's shyness....it's a social anxiety and it's tied up with self-worth.
It amuses me when someone who clearly has always been outgoing gives advice such as: "be relaxed"; ah yes, if it was that simple. If you can't empathize with people, then you're not going to be helpful, just condescending. While everyone else works on their conversation skills, maybe you should work on your compassion.
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Best advice I've ever been given for shyness:
-Become so absorbed in the other person that you lose yourself. Then you will not be so self-conscious and can come off more naturally. Even when you are talking, keep your focus on them (their appearance & reactions).
-Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Example: If you think "I'm stupid and unlikeable and will make a fool of myself if I talk to that person", then immediately say to yourself "No, I have a lot to offer as a friend, I'm a good listener, and I am knowledgeable on a lot of subjects". If you counter every bad thought with a good one, then your confidence in yourself will grow, and again, the fear will subside a bit.
Ah. So really what we have here is a cage match between two condescending prigs. Hey, I'll admit to being one from time to time. But can you?
No match, big guy, I'll happily abdicate.
I never said I've never been condescending. In a debate, one side always appears C'ing to the other. I hardly see the need for a debate when you are "putting a cloak" of servicing the socially inept. And the very act of someone disagreeing with some of those points seems to perform voodoo on your temper.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
And, if you must know, the DM that was sent my way was undeserving of that consideration. I don't mind being taken to task in a private manner. But I sure won't put up with the nonsense the poster in question chose to dish out.
When it's happening between two people, it does not deserve to be publicized. The idea of publicly humiliating someone seems to amuse you, be it the church or anywhere else.
Even enemies deserve respect. You can always drag them into a dark cell and put your sock in their mouth, but still shake hands in the public eye. Social etiquette, it makes people more inept than bad conversations can
I never said I've never been condescending. In a debate, one side always appears C'ing to the other. I hardly see the need for a debate when you are "putting a cloak" of servicing the socially inept. And the very act of someone disagreeing with some of those points seems to perform voodoo on your temper.
When it's happening between two people, it does not deserve to be publicized. The idea of publicly humiliating someone seems to amuse you, be it the church or anywhere else.
Even enemies deserve respect. You can always drag them into a dark cell and put your sock in their mouth, but still shake hands in the public eye. Social etiquette, it makes people more inept than bad conversations can
Well, first of all, asking someone in church to kindly pipe down isn't humiliation. It's asking for simple respect for the rest of the congregation. Second of all, the person in question really wasn't interest in private, civil discourse. He was interested in hurling epithets and threats in a DM that wouldn't have been allowed by the moderator in the forum itself. So I really felt no compunction in this case, unlike other polite disagreements I have received via DM from others.
Well, first of all, asking someone in church to kindly pipe down isn't humiliation. It's asking for simple respect for the rest of the congregation. Second of all, the person in question really wasn't interest in private, civil discourse. He was interested in hurling epithets and threats in a DM that wouldn't have been allowed by the moderator in the forum itself. So I really felt no compunction in this case, unlike other polite disagreements I have received via DM from others.
Where did "so butt out" vanish? I think it's probably impossible to have a normal conversation with you, cpg.
I feel like I've walked into Mount Sinai without realizing the consequences.
Anyway, there's no point in choking myself before the burning bush over and over. But let me leave, after being compelled to publish your ten commandments to the rest of the world.
And the God of conversations said unto the "mortal", "Take your sandals off, FOOL"
And then, He spoke all these words, saying:
1. I'm the beacon of wisdom, thou shalt have no other beacon but me.
2. Thou shalt not call me condescending in vain.
3. Remember the Sabbath and keep it quiet.
4. Honour thy perfect father and dishonour thy rude mother.
5. Thou shalt kill a goat in my honour.
6. Thou shalt not steal silence.
7. Thou shalt not commit directmessagery.
8. Thou shalt not bear passive aggression on thy neighbour.
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