Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Your post was not addressed to me, but I want to remark that many people (women especially) feel this way. It stems from being indoctrinated with the idea that sex is inherently dirty and shameful, and that male desire is always degrading to women, unless it's redeemed by "love" (said term being defined as the burning desire to buy a horrendously overpriced starter home, make babies as soon as possible, and spend weekends strolling around Stop n' Shop and "doing drywall"). Other components of this worldview include the feeling that "sex" is something that men want and women give, and thus, in love and marriage, sex is something that women perform almost as a sacrifice.
The reality is that women have been sexually objectified throughout history, by men, while being discriminated against in every other facet of life (until recently, in the west at least). So, society/culture is reaping what has been sewn. That some act surprised by the host of issues women have with being objectified is beyond me.
I've always run in pretty risque circles, so it's not any brand of sexuality that's an issue for me (thinking of burning man here), but rather the generic type of man that blatently ogles. It's such a turn off. And when I notice it, it irks me. Hopefully, most in this thread don't let what's going on in their mind become noticed by women without an invitation.
The reality is that women have been sexually objectified throughout history, by men, while being discriminated against in every other facet of life (until recently, in the west at least). So, society/culture is reaping what has been sewn. That some act surprised by the host of issues women have with being objectified is beyond me.
I've always run in pretty risque circles, so it's not any brand of sexuality that's an issue for me (thinking of burning man here), but rather the generic type of man that blatently ogles. It's such a turn off. And when I notice it, it irks me. Hopefully, most in this thread don't let what's going on in their mind become noticed by women without an invitation.
Darnit. I am always trying to re-rep and I can't do it again. Tells me to spread the love. *sigh* REP REP REP REP REP
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,005,830 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by Donn2390
Every man looks at porn, and many ladies enjoy it also. It can be his full time pastime, which is bad, or it can be viewed over a glass of wine, with his wife, so both can enjoy...
Don't be hurt, doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Talk to him about it, join him in watching. Be open minded and investigate it. Divorced prude, or happily married, open minded wife...? You decide...
I never saw the allure of watching porn (can't stand their stupid fake noises) and I'm anything but a prude. I just don't need that to get into someone I love and I make damn sure they don't need it either.
The reality is that women have been sexually objectified throughout history, by men, while being discriminated against in every other facet of life (until recently, in the west at least). So, society/culture is reaping what has been sewn. That some act surprised by the host of issues women have with being objectified is beyond me.
I've always run in pretty risque circles, so it's not any brand of sexuality that's an issue for me (thinking of burning man here), but rather the generic type of man that blatantly ogles. It's such a turn off. And when I notice it, it irks me. Hopefully, most in this thread don't let what's going on in their mind become noticed by women without an invitation.
My problem with this logic is everyone judges, everyone is objectified in the sole definition of the word. It's hardly been one sided/single-edged throughout the ages.
Having the extreme feminist viewpoint of either "all men do it and are pigs, we just don't want it to show", or "they don't all do it, I should be seen for who I am right off the bat to <blank>" is a bit naive, and overall destructive in my view.
If you had true playback on what someone thought of you in the first 30 seconds of a first meet each time no matter the gender you'd get things you probably haven't heard or seen in x-rated movies, horror flicks, or listening to women comment on others sense of dress.
It comes down to how you act, your willingness to keep thoughts in check, and treating others with the same level of respect they treat you with.
I don't know if it's odd or something, but to me there's a pretty big chasm between telling a buddy, "damn, she's cute!", and "I'd jump on those ta-ta's and make a nest". The later I've never had the [dis]pleasure. The former, so long as your not pushy or sleezy about it is usually appreciated to be stated face to face to the woman in question.
Last edited by Waynec613; 05-19-2009 at 12:43 PM..
You think every man undressed you with his eyes? Wow.
Maybe they didn't look you in the eye for other reasons.
I hope they didn't but posters here are saying it's normal. When I was younger, I had a hard time getting men to make eye contact because I'm chesty. I sure hope they weren't thinking revolting things about me. I just assumed they were neaderthals men and got away as quickly as possible.
I def wouldn't leave him over it...I would discuss what you dislike about it or how it makes you feel, maybe you can come up with a compromise...like no internet porn...maybe just have a few magazines that way you know exactly what he is looking at. Now if he is looking at it so much it is disrupting his/your life maybe he should consider help. That is different.
I hope they didn't but posters here are saying it's normal. When I was younger, I had a hard time getting men to make eye contact because I'm chesty. I sure hope they weren't thinking revolting things about me. I just assumed they were neaderthals men and got away as quickly as possible.
I wouldn't look into it that deeply. Perhaps being a little more sensitive about it due to some early on experience/comment, my personal take on it is like anything else the most obvious thing about someone can often times get the most initial attention. Now, if they're not looking you in the eye after a second or whatever, male or female, then they're giving too much credence to passing thoughts, a.k.a. judging in all likely-hood.
I will comment, it's often done intentionally in our society to get initial focus, and to a degree it works, the girl with the g-string rising above her back, the guy with the pants hanging half-way down his butt.
You wont "put up with"....that sounds like you are doing him some kind of favor being with him.
I don't think you want to know why he looks at the porn. He is afraid of you.
[sarcasm]I never thought being afraid of someone would lead to them watching porn, I honestly thought it was to get off. Thank you for setting me straight on that idea. [/sarcasm off]
I don't have a problem with him looking at porn. He's not excessive, and it doesn't interfere or take away from our marriage. I don't ask for him to tell me when he does it, and I don't ask him how often, or when, or even to stop. It's not something to be swept under the rug and forgotten, it's either accepted and life goes on, or it starts to cause other problems.
Lying can cause just as many, if not more, problems if not dealt with than porn. You can be knit picky about my wording all you want, I got the point I wanted across.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You've just inspired a new thread.
