Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm 20 and in my first relationship. I love my boyfriend but I'm completely obsessive over him.
I think about him all day and night, if i don't hear from him I think all these thoughts that there's something wrong, he's ignoring me because he's sick of me, he thinks im a pest, he's with another girl, he loves someone else.
I keep checking and checking that he still loves me, i ask him constantly if everything's alright. if he doesnt say he loves me after i tell him, i get scared that somethings wrong and that he's gone off me or wants someone else.
I read all his comments and status's on facebook, livejournal and myspace. I check daily for new comments or friends. I feel sick when he adds new girls on there, or when girls send him comments. When he texts people i get scared that hes texting other girls or planning to go places alone with them, when he meets up with female friends i think it's secretly a date.
when he goes out with friends in the niht time, i sit at home or go to bed and wait for the night to be over. otherwise i drive myself crazy thinking about all the women he might be with.
how can i fix this? he doesnt know anything about it, all he knows is the part where i ask him if he still loves me. apart from that he doesnt know how hurt i am inside because of it.
i love him so much, i feel like he's my only happiness. im so scared to lose him
You have a huge problem...and if you don't fix it, you will make your own life miserable...by chasing him away and others that you date.
First you have to realize, everyone needs personal space. It sounds to me, like your not only jealous, but insecure, possessive, and co-dependent on someone else for your happiness.
You cannot smother people...it really turns them off...and you cannot be with someone 24/7
To constantly ask someone if there is something wrong would drive me up a wall...there are times when people can't or don't want to talk....i.e. while driving in the car. You, I'm sorry to say, would drive me nuts...and I'm a woman.
and I would suggest, you find a good counselor and realize, you will never be happy until you fix this problem you have. First step is to confront this problem and find out why you are so co-dependent on him...
You also have to realize, people change from day to day. Sometimes slowly, sometimes fast changes....this young man your dating, may some day realize that you are not compatible or what he is looking for...or visa versa...
You don't date someone just to have someone in your life to take care of you and all your needs. You date someone b/c you both have something in common....i.e. spiritual feelings, morals feelings. What if this person was raised in a family where his father ran around and it was acceptable...you have to look at the background a person had while growing up, b/c chances are, if he grew up in a dysfunctional family he may carry on the process and think it's perfectly ok.
You've heard of cultural differences, well,culture doen't only mean race or where you were born, but has a whole lot to do with a person's background.
What if this person doesn't enjoy doing anything you enjoy doing...are you going to sell your soul and all that you enjoy doing down the river just so you can be with someone????
It is very important you figure yourself out otherwise, you will make another human being miserable and chase them away every time.
Get to know who you are, what your likes and dislikes are, and stand by them no matter what...do not compromise your personal morals and beliefs for someone else...find someone who thinks and feels like you do.
It is no one else's job to make you happy, and no one else can, unless you are happy, and it sound's like you have a lot of upheavel in your life right now and it is not fair to date someone until you get yourself straightened out.
Personally, I feel that in order to be in a serious relationship a few things should be establish:
1) love yourself
2) be confident with a willingness to trust
3) maintain your independence
I dont wanna be mean or sound judgemental but i sense that you lack all 3 of the above. If I were you and feeling the way you feel, I would definitely break off the relationship just to ease my mind... you are only 20 and there is way too much life still ahead of you. Dont MAKE this your life!!!!!!!!!
i had an x that challenged everything i did on myspace. it got old
i remember i added a girl to myspace and she flipped out." who is that how do you know her ,why did you , bla bla bla"
well guess what it was my cousin.
boy did she feel like an a$$ that day
hahahaha
I feel like if he left me, I won't find anyone else and that him wanting me was just luck
You are getting some great advice here. Find something to occupy your time better and also work on your self-esteem.
Consider joining a gym and working out a lot? It will make you hotter for your bf, increase your self-esteem and also burn off excess energy. I think that one change might solve a lot of issues for you.
Lastly, take stock of your life. If you don't feel you deserver your bf why? What can you do to improve those parts of yourself. (This is again more for your own self-esteem and not to make you worthy of him.) It's quite possible that you don't recognize some of your strong positives.
I've heard this a little bit from my gf...for example, there is a big disparity in our financial situation but on the plus side she is an extremely sweet, good-hearted woman. I'd much rather date her than a gal that was well-off but not nearly as nice\kind.
Don't take this as snarky but it sounds like a major self esteem issue and you may need to seek counseling about this. You cannot place your entire happiness on another person and that is what you're doing here.
I'm 20 and in my first relationship. I love my boyfriend but I'm completely obsessive over him.
I think about him all day and night, if i don't hear from him I think all these thoughts that there's something wrong, he's ignoring me because he's sick of me, he thinks im a pest, he's with another girl, he loves someone else.
I keep checking and checking that he still loves me, i ask him constantly if everything's alright. if he doesnt say he loves me after i tell him, i get scared that somethings wrong and that he's gone off me or wants someone else.
I read all his comments and status's on facebook, livejournal and myspace. I check daily for new comments or friends. I feel sick when he adds new girls on there, or when girls send him comments. When he texts people i get scared that hes texting other girls or planning to go places alone with them, when he meets up with female friends i think it's secretly a date.
when he goes out with friends in the niht time, i sit at home or go to bed and wait for the night to be over. otherwise i drive myself crazy thinking about all the women he might be with.
how can i fix this? he doesnt know anything about it, all he knows is the part where i ask him if he still loves me. apart from that he doesnt know how hurt i am inside because of it.
i love him so much, i feel like he's my only happiness. im so scared to lose him
Gee, you sound like a real catch to me
Look, you are very young and you still have a lot of growing up to do. Work on it though so you won't be this way in a few years (it's very unattractive).
Do yourself a favor, go get the Dr. Laura book "The 10 Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives" - you need some guidance. Best of luck
I'm 20 and in my first relationship. I love my boyfriend but I'm completely obsessive over him.
I think about him all day and night, if i don't hear from him I think all these thoughts that there's something wrong, he's ignoring me because he's sick of me, he thinks im a pest, he's with another girl, he loves someone else.
I keep checking and checking that he still loves me, i ask him constantly if everything's alright. if he doesnt say he loves me after i tell him, i get scared that somethings wrong and that he's gone off me or wants someone else.
I read all his comments and status's on facebook, livejournal and myspace. I check daily for new comments or friends. I feel sick when he adds new girls on there, or when girls send him comments. When he texts people i get scared that hes texting other girls or planning to go places alone with them, when he meets up with female friends i think it's secretly a date.
when he goes out with friends in the niht time, i sit at home or go to bed and wait for the night to be over. otherwise i drive myself crazy thinking about all the women he might be with.
how can i fix this? he doesnt know anything about it, all he knows is the part where i ask him if he still loves me. apart from that he doesnt know how hurt i am inside because of it.
i love him so much, i feel like he's my only happiness. im so scared to lose him
I think you are a very sweet young lady and your boyfriend is not ready for a real relationship full of emotion. I think you should slow down and dump your bo. He does not deserve you. When he finds out how special you are, you will be long gone.
I'm 20 and in my first relationship. I love my boyfriend but I'm completely obsessive over him.
I think about him all day and night, if i don't hear from him I think all these thoughts that there's something wrong, he's ignoring me because he's sick of me, he thinks im a pest, he's with another girl, he loves someone else.
I keep checking and checking that he still loves me, i ask him constantly if everything's alright. if he doesnt say he loves me after i tell him, i get scared that somethings wrong and that he's gone off me or wants someone else.
I read all his comments and status's on facebook, livejournal and myspace. I check daily for new comments or friends. I feel sick when he adds new girls on there, or when girls send him comments. When he texts people i get scared that hes texting other girls or planning to go places alone with them, when he meets up with female friends i think it's secretly a date.
when he goes out with friends in the niht time, i sit at home or go to bed and wait for the night to be over. otherwise i drive myself crazy thinking about all the women he might be with.
how can i fix this? he doesnt know anything about it, all he knows is the part where i ask him if he still loves me. apart from that he doesnt know how hurt i am inside because of it.
i love him so much, i feel like he's my only happiness. im so scared to lose him
Like the song says "hold on loosely, but don't let go. If you cling too tightly you're gonna loose control." by 38 Special.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
