Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm 20 and in my first relationship. I love my boyfriend but I'm completely obsessive over him.
This is very common. You're not alone.
I think about him all day and night, if i don't hear from him I think all these thoughts that there's something wrong, he's ignoring me because he's sick of me, he thinks im a pest, he's with another girl, he loves someone else.
You sound like you have all your eggs in one basket!
I keep checking and checking that he still loves me, i ask him constantly if everything's alright. if he doesnt say he loves me after i tell him, i get scared that somethings wrong and that he's gone off me or wants someone else.
That's one good way to drive a man away. Men like to chase. Trust me, he knows all you do is sit around waiting for his call. You are not much of a challenge for him. Men in their 20s like to be free. Very few are ready to settle down at that age. They have a of testosterone and a high sex drive. They want open relationships, not women who cling to them.
how can i fix this? he doesnt know anything about it, all he knows is the part where i ask him if he still loves me. apart from that he doesnt know how hurt i am inside because of it.
You can go out and get a life, for one. Stop having sex with him and start dating other men. Women these days will literally give up the goods to the first good looking guy who pays attention to them!
i love him so much, i feel like he's my only happiness. im so scared to lose him.
Good grief girl...get a grip on yourself! You are 20 years old. Get a life and stop stalking this guy (which is basically what you're doing as you monitor everything he does and everybody he associates with).
Before you start doing some seriously stupid things, tear yourself away and find other things to do with your time and energy.
Good grief girl...get a grip on yourself! You are 20 years old. Get a life and stop stalking this guy (which is basically what you're doing as you monitor everything he does and everybody he associates with).
Before you start doing some seriously stupid things, tear yourself away and find other things to do with your time and energy.
Come on Caligirl give this chick a break. She is young as we all once were. Her feelings are just as valid as any other.
Come on Caligirl give this chick a break. She is young as we all once were. Her feelings are just as valid as any other.
You are absolutely correct. Her feelings are valid for her, however, they are not healthy for her and that is why she is here because deep down, she knows she is in trouble.
Her blog name explains it all. This all about her. She is trying to figure herself out. But she cannot do that if we give her our sympathy, because she will absorbe that as a new form of love that she can cling to.
Sometimes a bucket of cold water is the only thing that can shock us into reality. We have all been through it and she will go through it also. It's just part of growing up.
...give this chick a break. She is young as we all once were. Her feelings are just as valid as any other.
Completely agree!
I think it's great she's recognized what she's doing and she's not happy that she's doing it and she's asking for help.
A lot of people NEVER come to that level of self awareness no matter how old and "life experienced" they become.
She seems to have made a pretty good summation of the situation too and doesn't appear to be blaming her boyfriend, only asking how she can change her own behaviour. I really admire her for having that level of self awareness at her age. I'm not sure I did.
I think you are a very sweet young lady and your boyfriend is not ready for a real relationship full of emotion. I think you should slow down and dump your bo. He does not deserve you. When he finds out how special you are, you will be long gone.
No offense, but this is ENTIRELY her problem - not his. She needs to find out how special she is, not him
HA!! I know exactly what you are going through! (i am also 20, madly in love for the 1st time with my 1st serious bf) i went through the same thing with my current BF in the beginning of our relationship n sometimes i still think i do. You just need keep urself occupied n try not to worry bout it and i kno its hard. Try to share those thoughts with ur close friends tht wont tell others. I read a book , watch a drama (its addicting, it'll keep ur mind clean) n of course keepin urself busy w work helps alot too.
I think the OCD post is the most accurate. I'm going through kind of the same thing. But I also know that I have dealt with OCD when I was younger. Never received help for it, and now the OCD is back in a different form. It sort of transferred. This insecurity is part of the obsessive component. And the checking is part of the compulsion. I'm looking for help on how to deal with this. The only thing I've found so far, is that insecurity is a part of life and you have to accept it. You need to talk to a counselor or health professional. I hope this helps you. If I find anything else, I'll post it here for you. Good Luck! Wish me luck too!
I'm 20 and in my first relationship. I love my boyfriend but I'm completely obsessive over him.
I think about him all day and night, if i don't hear from him I think all these thoughts that there's something wrong, he's ignoring me because he's sick of me, he thinks im a pest, he's with another girl, he loves someone else.
I keep checking and checking that he still loves me, i ask him constantly if everything's alright. if he doesnt say he loves me after i tell him, i get scared that somethings wrong and that he's gone off me or wants someone else.
I read all his comments and status's on facebook, livejournal and myspace. I check daily for new comments or friends. I feel sick when he adds new girls on there, or when girls send him comments. When he texts people i get scared that hes texting other girls or planning to go places alone with them, when he meets up with female friends i think it's secretly a date.
when he goes out with friends in the niht time, i sit at home or go to bed and wait for the night to be over. otherwise i drive myself crazy thinking about all the women he might be with.
how can i fix this? he doesnt know anything about it, all he knows is the part where i ask him if he still loves me. apart from that he doesnt know how hurt i am inside because of it.
i love him so much, i feel like he's my only happiness. im so scared to lose him
Yes, it's the female self-sabotaging syndrome called "overthinking."
Relax, live in the moment and keep things simple.
Your brain will still be developing until you're about 25. So getting tied down at your age isn't a real great idea, especially as your personality is still evolving.
One other thing: is there something in your home life that is causing this? Do you have abandonment issues arising out of your relationship with your father, whether that abandonment was emotional or physical? If that is the case, get counseling. This is very common, so you wouldn't be a alone in this.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You are 20 years old. Get a life and stop stalking this guy (which is basically what you're doing as you monitor everything he does and everybody he associates with).
