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Old 10-01-2009, 02:33 PM
 
Location: East Valley, AZ
3,849 posts, read 9,422,703 times
Reputation: 4021

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Dang, I used to be JUST like the OP. Obsessive, scared, controlling, constantly overthinking every little act, but then I wised up and decided to take myself off the market and get my sanity under control. I can't say I'll be ready to date anytime soon, but focusing on my weaknesses is going to make me stronger in the long run.

OP, I suggest you do the same: Take yourself off the meat market and focus on yourself for a while. You need to calm your emotions down and realize how immature and insane you're really being
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Old 10-13-2011, 03:58 PM
 
Location: Between Heaven And Hell.
13,624 posts, read 10,027,837 times
Reputation: 17011
Sounds familiar.
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Old 10-14-2011, 09:43 AM
 
13,511 posts, read 19,276,876 times
Reputation: 16580
Quote:
Originally Posted by imhurt View Post
I'm 20 and in my first relationship. I love my boyfriend but I'm completely obsessive over him.

I think about him all day and night, if i don't hear from him I think all these thoughts that there's something wrong, he's ignoring me because he's sick of me, he thinks im a pest, he's with another girl, he loves someone else.

I keep checking and checking that he still loves me, i ask him constantly if everything's alright. if he doesnt say he loves me after i tell him, i get scared that somethings wrong and that he's gone off me or wants someone else.

I read all his comments and status's on facebook, livejournal and myspace. I check daily for new comments or friends. I feel sick when he adds new girls on there, or when girls send him comments. When he texts people i get scared that hes texting other girls or planning to go places alone with them, when he meets up with female friends i think it's secretly a date.

when he goes out with friends in the niht time, i sit at home or go to bed and wait for the night to be over. otherwise i drive myself crazy thinking about all the women he might be with.

how can i fix this? he doesnt know anything about it, all he knows is the part where i ask him if he still loves me. apart from that he doesnt know how hurt i am inside because of it.

i love him so much, i feel like he's my only happiness. im so scared to lose him
You've good reason to be afraid that you may lose him...your obsessiveness, and his innatentiveness could easily drive you apart ....the fact that he "meets up" with female friends....and goes out with friends at night....yet leaves you home alone... tells me that YOU are not his priority in life....why does he not introduce you as his girlfriend to these friends???and why doesn't he take you out at night WITH him??...these are questions you should ask him, so that you can know if indeed he does care for you in the way that you so desire.....If you have to ask him if he loves you....then he's obviously not SHOWING you that he does by his actions......I think that because you "love"him soooo much..you've set up the perfect oppurtunity for him to take advantage of you...and that's whats happening.....sorry, but you really should get a life of your own....make and go out with your OWN friends...let him see that you're not totally dependant on him for your happiness....that in its own, could make you a more attractive women to him...and perhaps he would ponder the error of his ways.
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Old 10-14-2011, 10:19 AM
 
Location: Austin, Texas
2,754 posts, read 6,100,489 times
Reputation: 4669
Quote:
Originally Posted by imhurt View Post
I'm 20 and in my first relationship. I love my boyfriend but I'm completely obsessive over him.

I think about him all day and night, if i don't hear from him I think all these thoughts that there's something wrong, he's ignoring me because he's sick of me, he thinks im a pest, he's with another girl, he loves someone else.

I keep checking and checking that he still loves me, i ask him constantly if everything's alright. if he doesnt say he loves me after i tell him, i get scared that somethings wrong and that he's gone off me or wants someone else.

I read all his comments and status's on facebook, livejournal and myspace. I check daily for new comments or friends. I feel sick when he adds new girls on there, or when girls send him comments. When he texts people i get scared that hes texting other girls or planning to go places alone with them, when he meets up with female friends i think it's secretly a date.

when he goes out with friends in the niht time, i sit at home or go to bed and wait for the night to be over. otherwise i drive myself crazy thinking about all the women he might be with.

how can i fix this? he doesnt know anything about it, all he knows is the part where i ask him if he still loves me. apart from that he doesnt know how hurt i am inside because of it.

i love him so much, i feel like he's my only happiness. im so scared to lose him

You're way, way too young to be so dependant on the capricious affections of one guy. See, there's this great big wide world out there that's chock-full of wonderful, smart, sexy, interesting, funny young men, and you, my dear, need to check some of that out. Trust meL do this now, and you'll thank me when you're in oyur 30's.
Sounds like you are what some of the 12-Step people call "Co-Dependant." Go ahead and Google it and look at some of the traits and see if ya think it fits you. Check out the Al-Anon website.
I'm also guessing you have a few Daddy Issues hangin' around in your closet with your Hollisters?
Get out more; make a pact withyourself that you will spend more time with other friends than you do him for a month or so. Take the first step towards emotional freedom, and peace of mind, and enhanced self-esteem.
Best of luck to you.
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