which is ruder? (kids, college, personality, looking)

[stan4]

I get that the lateness can be mitigated by a phone call, but it's small consolation when a friend is repeatedly late and does call to say, "Hey, I am going to be late." It's not like she ran into an emergency, but what good does that phone call do when we're already standing outside the venue?

[cleasach]

I would rather be 30 minutes early for something than 5 minutes late.

Too many people these days are of the attitude that "I'm only 20 minutes late, what's the big deal?" The big deal is if you say you're going to be there at 8, be there at 8, not after 8. If I was meeting someone at 8:00 and by ten minutes after, they are not there and I haven't gotten a call from them, I'd leave.

I understand people get hung up in traffic or whatever and in those cases a phone call is expected but if you know well in advance that you have to be somewhere at a particular time, don't time your departure based on getting there just in time, leave early and allow yourself an extra 15-20 minutes.

Sorry if I sound like a crank but this is just such a peeve of mine. I've had job interviewees show up 15-20 minutes late and then wondering why they won't be seen. I have co-workers who saunter in 15-30 minutes late and think nothing of it. It makes me crazy.

In the case of the restaurant, there is no chance I would wait for the late person's arrival. We'd order and eat and too bad on them.

[cpg35223]

Originally Posted by CESpeed

I'm the one who is always late and I don't have a problem with people going ahead and eating until I get there. I try to keep it under 10 min and I always call when I'm running late. I'm so bad I keep a timer on me at work and I still get back a minute or two late half the time.

I've gotten better but I don't foresee me being on time everywhere. I'm not as bad as my godmother. If we want her somewhere on time, we tell her to show up hour before we want her there. Then she's usually only 20 - 30 min late.

Not everyone who is chronically late is inconsiderate, some people are jus tbad time managers. Oh well no one's perfect and if that's the worst flaw, I'll take it.

CE, as much as I love you, I don't buy this. This just means that being on time doesn't mean enough to the person in question to address that character flaw. So when you say, "Whoops, hahahaha, I'm just such a bad time manager," what you're really saying, "Hahahahah, my time is more important than your time." It also says, "Hahahahah, I'm playing a passive aggressive game with you, where I'm going to make everybody wait on me." Trust me, you really don't want to be that person, do you?

Here's the thing. Time is the stuff that life is made of. It is an incredibly precious thing. Being five minutes late is one thing, for traffic or even an inaccurate watch could mean the difference. Ten minutes? Well, you could call to let the person at the restaurant not wonder if the wires got crossed. Fifteen-twenty minutes late without a phone call? There should be a really good excuse, particularly if there are reservations at a restaurant. Because what you've done is create a situation where the other person has to sit by himself alone in a restaurant holding a table with an increasingly hostile waitstaff.

Let me put it this way. If you had a job interview or a client appointment, would you be habitually ten minutes late? No freaking way, if you wanted to have any kind of career. What's more, I wouldn't hire a person who was five minutes late for the interview--unless, of course, there were real extenuating circumstances. Because a person who cannot be on time is a person who cannot trusted in a lot of ways--with detail, with professionalism, with a host of other things. That doesn't make them a bad person, just somebody that you don't want to work with.

So why wouldn't you invest as much in the people who truly matter in your life, such as your friends and relations? And if you are consistently 10-20 minutes late for everything, that means you are consistently rude to those people in your life without even realizing it.

So being late is infinitely ruder than the other party going ahead and ordering. I mean, I would wait a bit, but why should those of us considerate enough to arrive on time have to be inconvenienced by one person's lack of caring?

[CESpeed]

Originally Posted by Connecticut Pam

Showing up late when you know there are reservations is by far the rudest thing ever...showing up late for breakfast, lunch or dinner is rude and shows a total lack of respect for who is sitting there waiting for you to show up. This is my pet peeve as I have relatives who are NEVER not EVER on time for anything. If whoever is waiting for you to show up orders drinks and appetizers then suck it up....consequences of being rude for being late.

This past Sunday, I made arrangements to meet someone for breakfast at 9:30 am...I got there, place was beyond crowded so I phoned to see where they were. "Oh, we got a late start this morning so we won't be there for a while yet". Can you say cell phone? Can you say why didn't you call me earlier at home? I told this couple that I wasn't about to go into this restaurant and sit at a table alone and wait for them. So....there I was out in the parking lot playing with my cell phone waiting for them to show up. They arrived a half hour later at 10:00 am, then we had to wait for a table and didn't get seated until 10:15 am, they gobbled down their breakfast and announced they had to leave to go shopping.,.no visiting with me, no second coffee and these two were my SON and his WIFE!!

Can you say rude????

Wow. Did you let him get away with that?

[CESpeed]

The only place I'm ever on time to is work and that's a massive effort.

I don't feel my time is more important than anyone's and I'm not a control freak, I just don't feel the need to break my neck for an outing. It's just not that serious. I can't relax on an time schedule and there's no point in going out if I'm not going to relax and have fun. How anyone can have fun when they are constantly watching the clock is beyond me.

If anyone want to take my being a few minutes late as "my time is more important than yours" or "I want everyone to wait on me" that's their problem. Anyone who know me know that's not where my heart is and quite frankly, I don't want to soend time with people who are constantly on a schedule and everything has to happen at a specific time. That's just not fun.

Originally Posted by cpg35223

CE, as much as I love you, I don't buy this. This just means that being on time doesn't mean enough to the person in question to address that character flaw. So when you say, "Whoops, hahahaha, I'm just such a bad time manager," what you're really saying, "Hahahahah, my time is more important than your time." It also says, "Hahahahah, I'm playing a passive aggressive game with you, where I'm going to make everybody wait on me." Trust me, you really don't want to be that person, do you?

Here's the thing. Time is the stuff that life is made of. It is an incredibly precious thing. Being five minutes late is one thing, for traffic or even an inaccurate watch could mean the difference. Ten minutes? Well, you could call to let the person at the restaurant not wonder if the wires got crossed. Fifteen-twenty minutes late without a phone call? There should be a really good excuse, particularly if there are reservations at a restaurant. Because what you've done is create a situation where the other person has to sit by himself alone in a restaurant holding a table with an increasingly hostile waitstaff.

Let me put it this way. If you had a job interview or a client appointment, would you be habitually ten minutes late? No freaking way, if you wanted to have any kind of career. What's more, I wouldn't hire a person who was five minutes late for the interview--unless, of course, there were real extenuating circumstances. Because a person who cannot be on time is a person who cannot trusted in a lot of ways--with detail, with professionalism, with a host of other things. That doesn't make them a bad person, just somebody that you don't want to work with.

So why wouldn't you invest as much in the people who truly matter in your life, such as your friends and relations? And if you are consistently 10-20 minutes late for everything, that means you are consistently rude to those people in your life without even realizing it.

So being late is infinitely ruder than the other party going ahead and ordering. I mean, I would wait a bit, but why should those of us considerate enough to arrive on time have to be inconvenienced by one person's lack of caring?

[stan4]

Then how do you agree as to when to meet somewhere?

And do you honestly think that your friends are having a good time standing around, waiting for you?

[STT Resident]

Originally Posted by CESpeed

The only place I'm ever on time to is work and that's a massive effort.

I don't feel my time is more important than anyone's and I'm not a control freak, I just don't feel the need to break my neck for an outing. It's just not that serious. I can't relax on an time schedule and there's no point in going out if I'm not going to relax and have fun. How anyone can have fun when they are constantly watching the clock is beyond me.

If anyone want to take my being a few minutes late as "my time is more important than yours" or "I want everyone to wait on me" that's their problem. Anyone who know me know that's not where my heart is and quite frankly, I don't want to soend time with people who are constantly on a schedule and everything has to happen at a specific time. That's just not fun.

I hope that your chronic lateness IS only confined to five minutes or so and that you're not one of those who, for instance, sidles into a theater performance when the curtain has already gone up. If that's not the case and you're chronically late by half an hour or more, then the mere fact that you hear a different drummer is no excuse for making people wait and IS extremely rude and disrespectful. Cheers!

[cpg35223]

Originally Posted by CESpeed

The only place I'm ever on time to is work and that's a massive effort.

I don't feel my time is more important than anyone's and I'm not a control freak, I just don't feel the need to break my neck for an outing. It's just not that serious. I can't relax on an time schedule and there's no point in going out if I'm not going to relax and have fun. How anyone can have fun when they are constantly watching the clock is beyond me.

If anyone want to take my being a few minutes late as "my time is more important than yours" or "I want everyone to wait on me" that's their problem. Anyone who know me know that's not where my heart is and quite frankly, I don't want to soend time with people who are constantly on a schedule and everything has to happen at a specific time. That's just not fun.

Yes, but it also means that your word cannot be trusted, and the ability to arrive somewhere on time is a big indicator of maturity. And, again, whether you acknowledge it or not, everything in the social gathering has to center around planning for you to arrive.

[nat_at772]

Originally Posted by cpg35223

CE, as much as I love you, I don't buy this. This just means that being on time doesn't mean enough to the person in question to address that character flaw. So when you say, "Whoops, hahahaha, I'm just such a bad time manager," what you're really saying, "Hahahahah, my time is more important than your time." It also says, "Hahahahah, I'm playing a passive aggressive game with you, where I'm going to make everybody wait on me." Trust me, you really don't want to be that person, do you?

I don't think my time is more important than others, I'm just really bad when it comes to wide open spaces (in time). I'm the type of person that if I have 8 things to do in one hour, then I'll get them done because i know I only have an hour, but if I have 1 thing to do and 8 hours to do it I'll be there at 7:59 mark trying to get it done...I'm just easily distracted and scatter brained.

I can go to the grocery store and buy food, come home and think "I can't put my food in this dirty kitchen" so I'll start to clean up the kitchen, realize I'm out of some cleaning product and go into the bathroom to get it where I'll see the fingernail polish I was looking for last week, then I'll forget what I'm doing and paint my toenails. While waiting for them to dry I'll see what's on television, a commercial for T-Mobile will come on and then I'll remember I need to call them about the bill I received, while I'm holding I'll search the net and end up on here...next thing I know my boyfriend is home from work and the ice cream has melted on the counter. If it wasn't for planners, alarm clocks and reminders I'd probably spend the majority of my life walking around trying to figure out what I was supposed to be doing.

[cpg35223]

Originally Posted by natalayjones

I don't think my time is more important than others, I'm just really bad when it comes to wide open spaces (in time). I'm the type of person that if I have 8 things to do in one hour, then I'll get them done because i know I only have an hour, but if I have 1 thing to do and 8 hours to do it I'll be there at 7:59 mark trying to get it done...I'm just easily distracted and scatter brained.

I can go to the grocery store and buy food, come home and think "I can't put my food in this dirty kitchen" so I'll start to clean up the kitchen, realize I'm out of some cleaning product and go into the bathroom to get it where I'll see the fingernail polish I was looking for last week, then I'll forget what I'm doing and paint my toenails. While waiting for them to dry I'll see what's on television, a commercial for T-Mobile will come on and then I'll remember I need to call them about the bill I received, while I'm holding I'll search the net and end up on here...next thing I know my boyfriend is home from work and the ice cream has melted on the counter. If it wasn't for planners, alarm clocks and reminders I'd probably spend the majority of my life walking around trying to figure out what I was supposed to be doing.

Yes, but so what?

Hey. We all have those little flaws. I'm a chronic procrastinator. I really don't enjoy telling somebody the awful truth. And I'd really so much rather be watching a baseball game than doing yardwork. And the list goes on.

But at some point, one has to choose between being an adult or a grownup. Adulthood is merely a biological stage of life, the function of hormones. Being a grownup, on the other hand, is a function of mastering those little problems that cause issues for the other people in your life. It's not a mental defect. It's just an unwillingness to change behavior. Unfortunately, when it comes to the original post, inherent lateness causes a great deal of inconvenience and frustration for everybody else. A considerate grownup (As opposed to an adult) would recognize this and take measures to change. And not succumb to excuses such as "Well, I'm just that way."