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You made this exact same thread five days ago... are you getting senile? Just get your engagement ring and move on. She's 22 and not ready to get married yet.
I was wondering if anyone can help me out...it would be greatly appreciated. I'm 35 and my fiance/ex-fiance is 22. We live 1 1/2 hours apart and we met 10 months ago. Every weekend I drive to her house (where she lives with her parents) on Friday afternoon and stay until Sunday night. I also go there 1 day during the week. We hit it off from the start and spent every single weekend together. We also went on 2 vacations right away. 5 months after we met I proposed to her. We looked at houses several times and she constantly wanted to get pregnant so things were very serious. Everything was great although we would bicker over minor stuff. Usually it involved her going out to meet up with one of her friends....I would always ask that she sent 2 or 3 texts a night when she went out. I would never call her or text her 1st. She has a lot of friends so was busy during the week meeting up with them. On the other hand i only have 1 or 2 . Her going out would lead to bickering as I guess I missed hearing from her all night on those nights. On weekends we were together always which because of me living 1 1/2 hours away and our work schedules had to be that way. I think she started regretting that she never had girls nights out on weekends (except for 3 or 4 times in 10 months). One night a few weeks ago we went out and I overheard her telling someone "I love him but I'm not sure if he's right for me...how do you ever know?....and he's constantly up my a$$". When i confronted her about it a few minutes later she started crying saying how she didnt mean it and didnt know why she said I was up her a$$. This led to some more bickering because I had what she said on my mind. She is adopted and recently found online her biological parents and sister. So we planned to fly to see them. The night before the trip she was being very cold/distant and bitchy. So I confronted her about it and told her how I was very upset about how she was treating me. She sat there silent with nothing to say at all so I left to see how she would react. She texted me saying i deserve someone better and she feels like a horrible person because "you're the nicest guy I'll ever meet". I drove right back to her house and she told me she wants to go on break. She said "theres something missing in our relationship and I have to figure out what it is"...she also said" i'm under so much stress with meeting my family for the 1st time and work and all and you add to that stress." She said she still wants me to go with her to see her biological parents for the 4 day trip but she wont wear the ring and wont introduce me as her fiance. Things were akward on the trip and she was sort of cold. The one day on the trip I had tears in my eyes and I told her I didnt want to lose her and she replied "dont worry you wont." A few days later I asked her when she would wear the ring again and she said "eventually". We've been back for 5 days now and she called once and texted me every day except for today. I never called her and only returned her texts and never asked anything about our relationship. I'm very upset due to not hearing from her at all today and I dont know how much longer I can go on not knowing whats going to happen betwwen us. I dont know how long I should wait before I give her an ultimatum. Please help...
"I guess within a 2 or 3 week period someone can just stop feeling the same."
Yeah, but I'd guess it was over a longer period of time. You just didn't notice it.
It's not what you want to hear (read), but it would be best to stick a knife in the relationship and call it done. These things happen. She loves you, but not enough to spend a life as your spouse. If she tried, it would likely end bitterly.
Let her go and be thankful for the experience. If you let it end gracefully, now, she'll keep you in her heart until she dies. If you push it, you'll soon become that bore who couldn't let go.
I have an idea how she feels. I was in a long distance relationship with a gal for a couple years -- engaged for much of that time. I loved her, but not enough. I just couldn't see spending the rest of my life with her. It wouldn't have been fair to either of us. She was (is?) a great gal who deserved someone who worshipped her, and there was no way I could be that someone. I thought long and hard for months and months before ending it. I still have fond memories of her and always will, but I have no doubt that I did the right thing when I ended it.
Let her go and get on with your life. Good luck to you.
Thanks a lot for your response and story. You might be right when you said it could have been over a longer time than the 2 or 3 weeks that she was feeling this way but just didnt know what to do so she never acted on it until now
You made this exact same thread five days ago... are you getting senile? Just get your engagement ring and move on. She's 22 and not ready to get married yet.
It has moved from a "break" to a "break-up", tho, I'm not sure why he didn't figure a break leads straight to the up.
I have never been on a "break" before and had assumed that after the break we'd be back together since thats what she said. Now i guess I learned the hard way break means soon to be break up
Location: somewhere close to Tampa, but closer to the beach
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Seriously my friend, just move on..if it is meant to be..it will ..However in this case, it think it is best to let go..Sometimes lifes greatest lessons are the ones which hurt the most..You will only grow stronger from the experience...
It's kind of corny, but you know how they say "if you love someone, set them free, if they come back they're yours, if not it wasn't meant to be" - that's probably the best way to approach this.
Find something to do - be around friends, a hobby or something - and spend less time thinking about it.
She's too young for you. My daughter is 21 and is going out with a guy who is 28 (she told me he's 26, but I found out he's older), and I think THAT is too much age difference.
I never lied to the parents...I just went along with it. I told her several times to just tell them the truth but she said theres no point because her dad would get real mad....I dont think the parents would have cared because she said they loved me like a son and did everything for me
But right there was a red flag - from her. She had a problem with the age gap at least in some big way if not completely.
Some things you simply cannot change and it's better to start figuring what to do with the big empty space you now need to fill in some way. Take a trip out of town, sign up for a class, or start some gym workout.
You really can't worry about it, but you might try to find people more your age and see if some things aren't better.
Move on. She's not ready. No need in trying to force something she doesn't want.
Take this advice. Whatever is going on with her, she's not ready. Move on with your life. Check back with her in a year or so.
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Just get your engagement ring and move on. She's 22 and not ready to get married yet.
Take this advice. Whatever is going on with her, she's not ready. Move on with your life. Check back with her in a year or so.
