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I wouldn't stay one minute with someone I was dating and unhappy with. A marriage (especially with kids) would be worth putting the effort into...but not abuse, that's over the line. Just "not being happy" is no reason to bail on a marriage, you need to first figure out why, and then how to address it, because something is going to keep cropping up in every relationship you have. Most marriages end because one person isn't happy with themself, and the easiest thing to do is blame the spouse.
+1
Nobody said marriage was 24-7 bliss and happiness...dating isn't either. From what I've learned if I never have a disagreement with my SO, it might be doomed in the long run. It's all about how you look at those low points in the relationship....is it worth it to work it out or bail out?
All these frivilous divorces and breakups are part of our instant gratification society. It's killing us.
I think he taught you a fine lesson in what "love" really means.
There are so many "deadbeat Dads" that could care less about their kids but you have seen first hand what being a "real" Dad really means. Swimming shark infested waters to protect your children. Yeah, he proved to you that he loved you and would put up with this woman just to be there for you instead of abandoning you and your sister.
then why stay????? I mean besides financial issues and children being involved, but really if your dating someone and don't trust them, or whatever the problem may be...WHY stay with them?? Are so many people so weak that they can't stand up and leave a relationship for a happier life? I understand it is very hard to leave a relationship bc he/she could be the one that got away...but when your miserable why worry about one day? If you based every single decision on "one day" or "what-if" then you'll always be miserable.
I've recently taken a whole new outlook on life, just a personal decision, but I'm staying positive and I'm in this life for me and if people want to join my happy life then fabulous, if things don't work out well there is ALWAYS tomorrow!
What is it about being in a relationship that makes you so miserable that you want to stay??? Again besides the obvious like financial issues and children and such things. I'm talking people who haven't been together more then a couple years and things aren't that great in the relationship...what makes you stay in the relationship???
Being "unhappy" and "content" are two different things though... if you are content it means you are ok with the situation you are in... but being unhappy is just miserable...
It is very hard to leave an 'unhappy' situation. Unhappy comes from a lot of places, stress, the participants, what happens around them.
Sometimes a change is so gradual that you won't realize you're being manipulated into staying.
Sometimes leaving is scarier than the known.
I hate to say it but I think a lot of people stay unhappy because it's easy and it gets them a 'rub.'
Think about the person who constantly complains about what a jerk the significant other is. "Oh, you're too pretty for him," "You're so smart, he should appreciate you more," "She doesn't appreciate what you do for her..." They're getting something out of that.
I've had friends who've dated (married) poor choices. I usually don't discuss spouse's/sig others and a couple of times I've had to ask them to stop telling me because there's nothing I can do.
Of course if you have the terminally unhappy in your life, they will drag you down.
And since I choose to be happy, I don't hang with unhappy. That's the only thing I can control!
Very true...good point. I suppose a lot of people enjoy hearing all of those things in a way..."you're too pretty for him" bla bla bla. Its strange how people almost justify relationships sometimes.
if the feelings are too strong, then surely you don't NEED to move on ??
or do you mean if you're the one who has been dumped ??
Precisely.
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