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I don't believe being in love with someone changes our ability to know the difference between right and wrong. Even in my situation where no one physically cheated, I knew deep down in my soul what he did just wasn't right. No matter how many time I told myself it wasn't a big deal or others would say, "I think he's a good man", I couldn't convince myself to accept what I knew was wrong. This is why I find is so unbelievable that love would make someone keep going back to someone that physically and/or mentally abused them. I just don't get it.
Thats because you, like most other people, were basing your happiness on someone else. People fail you, they always will. As long as you feel you need someone else, or for someone else to need you, to function as a person, you will continue to fall. I'm not saying to not seek a relationship, I'm saying that as long as you feel incomplete without someone, that when you eventually do find someone, that feeling will return later on. This is a big reason most relationships fail in the end, people get bored and that feeling of wanting to "fall in love" all over again rears its ugly head. Thats because those people were never happy to begin with and instead attempted to substitute their own personal void with another person.
Also good for you for fixing your problems.
Well...Jason28.. I have to admit, good job!
Yes, it took someone else to enter my life, in order to get away from what I had....and for that, I am thankful!!!
Well...Jason28.. I have to admit, good job!
Yes, it took someone else to enter my life, in order to get away from what I had....and for that, I am thankful!!!
People who are abused or battered usually do need outside interference to get it to stop if they don't put their foot down the first time. Sadly a lot of people let it slide and in time it developes into a nightmare.
People who are abused or battered usually do need outside interference to get it to stop if they don't put their foot down the first time. Sadly a lot of people let it slide and in time it developes into a nightmare.
Yep...My nightmare went on for almost 4 years....sad, I know!
What if your young, naive, and not sure if your happy or not?
Those emotions can go out of control sometimes, and your up and down with if your happy or not.
What if.....your with someone you absolutely adore, but he has an abuse problem? He has hit you once, twice, even three times? You moved out, and moved back because he promised you he would never do it again...only, to find until the next time.....repeat, over, and over, and over again. Your parents are getting sick of the routine..... but yet, you are convinced, this is what you want! You love him! You have a great time with him otherwise....until..... then the cycle repeats all over again. When do we say...enough?
If that were my daughter, I wouldn't have to handle that. She would have beaten bf's ass if he hit her one time.
What if your young, naive, and not sure if your happy or not?
You don't even have to be young and naive. Sometimes you're just not happy, period...for your own reasons and because of your own problems... It might have nothing to do with the relationship per se, but you think and feel it does.
then why stay????? I mean besides financial issues and children being involved, but really if your dating someone and don't trust them, or whatever the problem may be...WHY stay with them?? Are so many people so weak that they can't stand up and leave a relationship for a happier life? I understand it is very hard to leave a relationship bc he/she could be the one that got away...but when your miserable why worry about one day? If you based every single decision on "one day" or "what-if" then you'll always be miserable.
I've recently taken a whole new outlook on life, just a personal decision, but I'm staying positive and I'm in this life for me and if people want to join my happy life then fabulous, if things don't work out well there is ALWAYS tomorrow!
What is it about being in a relationship that makes you so miserable that you want to stay??? Again besides the obvious like financial issues and children and such things. I'm talking people who haven't been together more then a couple years and things aren't that great in the relationship...what makes you stay in the relationship???
Hope I guess. That it will be the way it was in the beginning, that it will turn around, that you didn't make a huge mistake, that you won't regret not holding on until the next gas station.
Every time in my life I should have waited just a second longer...I didn't. When you stop for gas after hoping the next station was cheaper....then you panic and pull over. When you get back on the road again relieved with a full tank, here comes that gas station 1 mile down the road twenty cents cheaper XD.
Hind sight ya know? But when you are in a comfort zone, even if it is a wobbly one....it is still your zone until you are 100% ready to leave it.
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If you're not happy... then I'll throw in something different.
Happiness is NOT "warm fuzzies" that soothingly massage your face, chest, and every limb of your body. Nor is happiness action, excitement, thrills, and other energizing adrenaline rushes. Those things aren't happiness - they're just feel-good emotionalisms. Drunks and junkies feel something similar too when they are loaded up on their favorite drug or drink. At best, feel-good emotionalisms are pleasurable but temporary and unreliable emotional states. In short, "feel-good emotionalisms" are counterfeits of happiness.
IMO, true happiness is necessarily a sustainable happiness - one that that only bends (at most) rather than breaks under circumstances exterior to your mind and body. It's characterized by a steady, sober-minded, emotionally-neutral (but not "robotic") ride through life; one without a lot of thrilling, pleasurable, joyful highs and bored, painfully lonely, depressing lows. That doesn't mean these things are absent - just that the highs aren't as high and the lows aren't as low (for the proper imagery, think of an electrocardiogram screen vs a graph depicting a gently rolling wave with rounded peaks). This may not be the most glamorous, interesting, and photogenic life to live - but it is a much more healthier one.
then why stay????? I mean besides financial issues and children being involved, but really if your dating someone and don't trust them, or whatever the problem may be...WHY stay with them?? Are so many people so weak that they can't stand up and leave a relationship for a happier life? I understand it is very hard to leave a relationship bc he/she could be the one that got away...but when your miserable why worry about one day? If you based every single decision on "one day" or "what-if" then you'll always be miserable.
I've recently taken a whole new outlook on life, just a personal decision, but I'm staying positive and I'm in this life for me and if people want to join my happy life then fabulous, if things don't work out well there is ALWAYS tomorrow!
What is it about being in a relationship that makes you so miserable that you want to stay??? Again besides the obvious like financial issues and children and such things. I'm talking people who haven't been together more then a couple years and things aren't that great in the relationship...what makes you stay in the relationship???
I think for me it's:
1. Fear of being alone
2. Fear of not being able to find someone better
3. Being comfortable and over time being more accepting of the bad, wilst dweling on the good things.
It's amazing how the mind will think of all the good things while discounting the BAD...
I know why live like this? But it seems it is easier than cutting the cord and moving on--alone.
What if your young, naive, and not sure if your happy or not?
Those emotions can go out of control sometimes, and your up and down with if your happy or not.
!!!!
Very goood questions to ask. Even if you aren't young and been around the block 3 or more times you need to make sure you are doing it for the right reasons!
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but yet, you are convinced, this is what you want! You love him! You have a great time with him otherwise....until.....
then the cycle repeats all over again. When do we say...enough?
