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then why stay????? I mean besides financial issues and children being involved, but really if your dating someone and don't trust them, or whatever the problem may be...WHY stay with them?? Are so many people so weak that they can't stand up and leave a relationship for a happier life? I understand it is very hard to leave a relationship bc he/she could be the one that got away...but when your miserable why worry about one day? If you based every single decision on "one day" or "what-if" then you'll always be miserable.
I've recently taken a whole new outlook on life, just a personal decision, but I'm staying positive and I'm in this life for me and if people want to join my happy life then fabulous, if things don't work out well there is ALWAYS tomorrow!
What is it about being in a relationship that makes you so miserable that you want to stay??? Again besides the obvious like financial issues and children and such things. I'm talking people who haven't been together more then a couple years and things aren't that great in the relationship...what makes you stay in the relationship???
I've thought of the basic foundation of how our relationship began, from friendship and loyalty and many shared valued. I believed these to be good foundation to build something upon together. A stepping stone towards something more.
I value the time and effort I put in towards the relationship. I genuinely have faith to a good future about the relationship, that I've made plans and goals and dreams around the relationship.
There are many possibilities in my life, and in her life. And I've had some moments where the very question, "do I stay or do I leave?" I think it's very human to have such thoughts because it is a decision one much choose how to live their life for himself or herself.
One of the question I asked myself was "did I give it my best that I will have zero regret deciding to move on?" In my years of searching for that answer, I learned only depend and be responsible for myself for any need I have in this world.
Without needing anything else from anyone, it was easy for me to decide to either be "all in" or "out" of the marriage. I am choosing to be married to my wife all the way because doing it halfway or unsure is just miserable.
But that said, I hope she too understand my thinking about this and I am happy the she too chooses to be married to me.
A lot of people stay in relationships because they're comfortable with that person. It takes an investment of time to reach that level with someone and most people don't feel like going through that whole process again.
What if your young, naive, and not sure if your happy or not?
Those emotions can go out of control sometimes, and your up and down with if your happy or not.
What if.....your with someone you absolutely adore, but he has an abuse problem? He has hit you once, twice, even three times? You moved out, and moved back because he promised you he would never do it again...only, to find until the next time.....repeat, over, and over, and over again. Your parents are getting sick of the routine..... but yet, you are convinced, this is what you want! You love him! You have a great time with him otherwise....until..... then the cycle repeats all over again. When do we say...enough?
What if your young, naive, and not sure if your happy or not?
Those emotions can go out of control sometimes, and your up and down with if your happy or not.
What if.....your with someone you absolutely adore, but he has an abuse problem? He has hit you once, twice, even three times? You moved out, and moved back because he promised you he would never do it again...only, to find until the next time.....repeat, over, and over, and over again. Your parents are getting sick of the routine..... but yet, you are convinced, this is what you want! You love him! You have a great time with him otherwise....until..... then the cycle repeats all over again. When do we say...enough?
The first time anything majorly inappropriate happens is enough...especially if you are not married. People who stay in relationships longer are gluttons for punishment and probably have an underlying mental psychosis to desire to stay with someone who badly mistreats them...perhaps some type of permanent loss of self worth.
The first time anything majorly inappropriate happens is enough...especially if you are not married. People who stay in relationships longer are gluttons for punishment and probably have an underlying mental psychosis to desire to stay with someone who badly mistreats them...perhaps some type of permanent loss of self worth.
Maybe.... But...that does NOT mean that they cannot pull themselves out of it! I wouldn`t call it "permanent loss of self worth." Maybe at first...but they can definetly shine again!! They can pull themselves out of this, and find life again.
Maybe.... But...that does NOT mean that they cannot pull themselves out of it! I wouldn`t call it "permanent loss of self worth." Maybe at first...but they can definetly shine again!! They can pull themselves out of this, and find life again.
People can learn to forgive themselves or fix whatever is wrong, sure...but they usually don't have the capacity to end the relationship, which is what the real problem is. An example. Couple are married, guy hits girl often, girl feels bad about it...the problem is the guy is abusive and the girl is mentally scarred, but the girl can't begin to fix the situation until she leaves the guy.
In a relationship where nothing is permanent, it should be over right there on the spot. Marriage is supposed to be more permanent, even though most people do not treat it as anything but a contractual obligation. I suppose there are some issues in a marriage I would attempt to work out whereas a relationship it would be over instantly. Each case would be different depending on the situation.
People can learn to forgive themselves or fix whatever is wrong, sure...but they usually don't have the capacity to end the relationship, which is what the real problem is.
Yep, thats the hardest thing to do, isn`t it? To end what you know is gone already.
For me, and my experience in my younger days...I didn`t want to end it. I loved him, and even though he was mean to me (abusive) I still went back, time and again. Even though, I had my parents, family, etc.. telling me diffrent...I didn`t hear them, or want to. I knew after hearing his promises and BS so many times, I was walking into a tunnel of lies, I still went back. If only I had listened!
Oh...I finally wised up... got the hell outta there, and today, I am so thankful I did!!! It took awhile, but I finally GOT IT!
Yep, thats the hardest thing to do, isn`t it? To end what you know is gone already.
For me, and my experience in my younger days...I didn`t want to end it. I loved him, and even though he was mean to me (abusive) I still went back, time and again. Even though, I had my parents, family, etc.. telling me diffrent...I didn`t hear them, or want to. I knew after hearing his promises and BS so many times, I was walking into a tunnel of lies, I still went back. If only I had listened!
Oh...I finally wised up... got the hell outta there, and today, I am so thankful I did!!! It took awhile, but I finally GOT IT!
Thats because you, like most other people, were basing your happiness on someone else. People fail you, they always will. As long as you feel you need someone else, or for someone else to need you, to function as a person, you will continue to fall. I'm not saying to not seek a relationship, I'm saying that as long as you feel incomplete without someone, that when you eventually do find someone, that feeling will return later on. This is a big reason most relationships fail in the end, people get bored and that feeling of wanting to "fall in love" all over again rears its ugly head. Thats because those people were never happy to begin with and instead attempted to substitute their own personal void with another person.
Also good for you for fixing your problems.
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but yet, you are convinced, this is what you want! You love him! You have a great time with him otherwise....until.....
then the cycle repeats all over again. When do we say...enough?
But...that does NOT mean that they cannot pull themselves out of it! I wouldn`t call it "permanent loss of self worth." Maybe at first...but they can definetly shine again!! They can pull themselves out of this, and find life again. 
I knew after hearing his promises and BS so many times, I was walking into a tunnel of lies, I still went back. 
