My recent, bad date with an American woman overseas (Chinese, couples, cities)

[Ameribull]

[quote=Andreams;11629991]Since I don't date women (straight lady and all), I find it interesting that so many men view American women as asking about your status, job, etc, only to see how you can stack up.

I am not in the dating game anymore, but whenever I asked about a man's job, it was to see....drum roll please.....what he does with most of his days. It is an easy question to ask that can lead to more questions, and possibly find a connection. When I asked about what kind of car he drove, it was because I genuinely have an interest in cars. Granted, if he says "I have a 1987 Geo Metro", I probably wouldn't follow that up with too many other questions relating to his car because...well, what else can you ask about a Geo Metro? Rather, if he responds with some kind of truck, I could ask if he takes it offroading. That is an interest of mine, so then I can see if we have something in common. Just an example of how those questions are not ALWAYS a woman trying to see if you stack up to her lifestyle expectations.

I am sure a lot of women out there DO judge based on jobs and salary. But how many American men also judge women based on their appearance? And no, I don't mean in the "well I have to be attracted to someone" camp. I mean....have you ever known a man to BE attracted to a woman, but will not be seen with her because she isn't fitting of his image? I have. I've been that woman that a man cares about, will be with, has a lot of fun with....but won't take her out, won't be her man. It was because I wasn't a skinny, bleached blond, typical Southern CA girl. I saw his type by the girls he WOULD hang out with in public. And yet, with me, he laughed harder, we talked more, and had a better connection than with those girls. But, I was the chubby girl that would have wrecked his image. For shame on him.

Men can be just as guilty as women in picking partners only because of how they can justify themselves through their partners assets. Whether those assets are looks, prestigious jobs, bank accounts, whatever. I only have experience with American men, so I couldn't comment on foreign men...and definitely not foreign women Those are just my insights into how people can judge on both sides, so don't put it all on women.[/quote


How is a man choosing a woman based on looks the same as a women choosing a man based on salary? I never understood that comparison. Granted if a man is basing his decison solely on looks it may be somewhat shallow. But wanting someone that your actually physically attracted to is not the same as picking someone that can buy you things. Like it or not sex plays a large role in male / female relations unless your 80. Therefore most people would perfer someone that they actually find attractive and want to have sex with. Tastes may vary however.

[Ameribull]

Originally Posted by TheCaliforniaBear

I have no bitterness towards American women. I just know the flaws and absurdities of American culture and I am speaking on them. You are being way too intense. Chill out.

If you can say bad things about men and women from different cultures. Do it. Why not? Especially if it is your own culture then you have no reason not to. That's how things change, when people wake up and realize the error of their ways.

Dont you know that in the "PC" culture you cant have opinions without being called bitter? Duh!!!

[Veee]

Originally Posted by wanneroo

Probably a lot of it is our natural tendencies to keep the gene pool vibrant.

I wouldn't be opposed to dating an asian woman, especially asian american, but they have their own cultural quirks, many of which don't appeal to me personally.

One of my sisters has Filipino in laws in the Philippines and from what I know and have seen in previous experiences is that it is a very matriarchal society. Everything revolves around the women. At best I would describe them as hysterical, controlling, screaming meemies. My sisters mother in law told me since I was single and unmarried that she'd bring back a Filipina for me to marry next time in the states. I told her I'd rather shoot myself instead and that ended that conversation.

I've also heard horror stories about Thai women as well.

I keep finding in life often it can be a zero sum game. Many long time posters here know I dig women from Australia and NZ for their laid back and easy going demeanor. However in return often they can lack some femininity or romantic qualities.

All depends what you want to live with I guess.

Living in a Patriarchal society makes me want to shoot myself too
I want a man secure enough in his masculinity to be with a strong, intelligent, beautiful woman with a brain.


I consider myself both American and Ukrainian (I was born there).

[thelee]

I think its interesting how you were quick to say she was judging you by your life and your goals, but you could judge her by her size. You are a shallow hypocrite

[Mikala43]

The whole thought process with the OP's post leaves me absolutely perplexed.

I couldn't even apply a stereotype to the men in my own state (Hawaii), let alone to the whole US. The differences between people here, New York, Iowa are HUGE - as far as stereotypes go.

For those to say that all, or even the majority, of "X" gender, in "X" country are "this way" just makes me think that 1) they haven't really travelled much; or 2) they don't really get to know people when they do.

[Chatteress]

I personally think that what appeals to males who desire overseas Asian women is the fact that many of these women are more traditional and easier to dominate. As the previous posted stated, there is no such thing as a typical American woman so the OP premise is way off. Since the OP is no longer a member, we won't hear his response. I pray that he finds happiness whatever the case may be.

[TimelessClassic]

Originally Posted by IDASpaceman

Spot-on.

No surprises here, spent six years overseas...agree with all of the above.

Same here. Spot-on! Once you date a few Eastern European women, you will never date an American woman.

[TimelessClassic]

Originally Posted by Djuna

You are most certainly right, we don't care about your status, job or car

That's great! So what qualities do you look for in guys? Confidence, sense of humor, fun? The intangibles?

[TimelessClassic]

Originally Posted by Trimac20

So...on one hand American women are so masculine, and think they don't need men, yet they still chase men with the biggest diamond ring, who can provide for them the best? According to the vibe i get from here.

American women want the best of all worlds.

[TimelessClassic]

Originally Posted by Trimac20

I'm not surprised. Russian women seem more down to earth and warm compared to American women.

In general, yes. But there are gold-diggers there too, just like anywhere else.