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...be different. Don't lie about this, but at the same time, try to figure out what your most unique trait is and use it. Do you have a good sense of humor? Use it. Are you smart? Be smart. Are you shy? ..ok, find a different trait. The bottom line here? Think about it.. when you're looking through those 100's of profiles, which ones make you stop? Usually, it's those profiles that stand out from the rest.
...something to attract attention immediately. If you have a *good looking* picture of you, use that to attract attention - but remember, a lot of people place more emphasis on personality rather than looks. Typically, you only have just a couple seconds to make an impression - the first sentence seen on your profile is important. Make it interesting, use it to draw people in, make it count. In writing, they call this a "hook". Look it up, learn it, use it.
...be enthusiastic. Profiles that show a strong confidence and enthusiasm are always more interesting than those that are dry, drab, and dark.
..be patient. It takes awhile to meet someone that you'll really connect with. Give it time, but keep on contacting new people.
...be personal. Ask questions, create interest. This should just be a no-brainer.
Dont's
...be afraid to start a conversation. Ever. You'll never know unless you go for it.
...use "netspeak". Show that you have a brain, and know how to use it. Make believe words like "ur", "luv", and "realy" were cute in high school. This is the real world, quit using them.
...constantly compliment someone, especially if you've just met them. Calling someone "sexy" 500 times during the first email isn't just annoying, it's just plain wrong. If you're going to compliment someone on something, complement them on their personality. This always works better than, "Hey sexy.." - it shows that you've been paying attention to them.
...give up. There are thousands of people online. Even if you don't meet someone who you can relate with within the first week, don't give up - keep trying. Eventually, you'll meet someone who shares your interests as well.
Now why would anyone lie about what they look like? It's one of those things that will be found out eventually. I've never understood the dishonesty that goes with meeting people online.
And if you're shy in person say so. I've found it awkward when meeting someone and she is completely candid in chat conversation, but then in person clams up. Later to find out that she was just shy.
I was like "hmmmmm, does my breath smell or something?"
DON'T
-Get your hopes up. The process is fundamentally screwy - out and about in the real world, men must have some tact with who they choose to approach, and who they don't, so the sleazebags are easier for women to weed out. Online, men can mass-mail 500 women and no one is the wiser. This gums up the works quite a bit.
For the most part online dating like the island of misfit toys. "I'm a cowboooy who rides an ooostrich..."
DO: Include things that would make you stand out from the dating population. On many of these sites there will be creepers and people who just don't sound good. If you can write a solid paragraph or two about yourself you can make the reader think "hey, this person might be for real."
DO: Proofread. This is a simple one, but I've seen a lot of profiles with mistakes that don't look good. Often, it's people who are college educated who make these mistakes. This goes along with my first point, but is probably easier.
DON'T: Try to use sympathy about past relationships to get someone to contact you. The last thing I want to talk about on a first date is a girl's ex-boyfriend, and I don't want to read about him in the info.
When I did online dating I got my hopes up too often. There's nothing wrong with being hopeful, but it took me a while to realize that not all the girls I found were going to work out. It really does take patience. This goes for sending emails to people. Don't get discouraged if you don't get an immediate response. Often people don't get a chance to check the site for a while or they just don't know what to write back. Also, it's like the real world: rejection is going to happen.
- Know what your deal breakers are and what things you're flexible on. If you go in only having a vague idea of who you're hoping to meet, you'll waste a lot of time talking to people who are all wrong for you.
- In your profile, mention something you're passionate about and would hope to have in common with another person. Travel, football, your religion, whatever.
- Have realistic expectations. One reason online dating has such a bad rep is because people go into it with unrealistic expectations. If they don't meet Mr. or Mrs. Right after a month or if they have several bad dates with the people they meet, they declare the whole thing a waste of time. If I never met anyone or I only had a few bad dates to show for it, I wouldn't necessarily give up. I'd just reevaluate my approach.
DON'T'S:
- Write a reluctant profile. By that, I mean don't claim that you're reluctant to try online dating. If it sounds like you're only half-heartedly trying it, that'll turn off the reader. If you're going to try something new, embrace it fully. Otherwise, why bother?
- Write a vague profile. A lot of women will write something along the lines of "I'm not good at talking about myself so if there's anything you'd like to know, just ask." Most readers won't bother. They'll just move onto the next profile.
- Force chemistry. Sometimes, someone can sound absolutely perfect for you. You have everything in common and love the way they look. Then you meet and there are no sparks. If it's not there, then it's not there so don't force it just because, on paper, you sound like the perfect match.
- Go out of your way to find a connection. Sometimes you'll comb through profiles and find no one you have a lot in common with. Then you see a profile where someone mentions a love of opera. You occasionally go to the opera too, but you're not a big fan. Don't inflate your interest in opera in order to find something in common with the other person.
- Confuse one person with another. If you're talking to several people, make sure you know who's who.
Having read many men's profiles here's a couple of suggestions:
Do not post a photo of yourself during a scuba drive. Grown men under water in a rubber suit is not pretty.
Do not list "hiking" and a combo of other sports as activity if you haven't hiked within the past decade. FYI watching foootball, basketball, etc. on ESPN doesn't quality as "doing" a sport.
Do not list hair color as brown, blonde, etc. if your hair is not grey. I can understand it once was brown or whatever. But today, it's grey.
I started online dating after breaking up with my girlfriend about a month ago and I have been on one date so far which was good but I am still figuring the girl out. I met another person there and this person is open to anything, even a friends with benefits type of relationship which is NICE but just last night, I realized I should probably take a break because it does not make sense to serial date or have so much stuff going on at the same time.
If none of these women work, I may go back, but it is easy to get caught up in this thing, online dating allows you to reach so many people, in a relatively easy WAY and it can be addictive.
1. Dont post a pic with you and another guy
2. Don't post a pic of you with sunglasses
3. Don't ask a man what company he works for
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